Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I'm All About Commitment

...and not always in a good way.

I'm not a committed person. My brain is too scattered to do justice to my obligations. Plus, commitment takes effort. Anyone who is in a relationship or has kids understands that. But its those other obligations we put ourselves under. We writers are always committing ourselves to some writing goal. Moms habitually obligate themselves to some school or sport function for their kids. We make promises at work, pushing ourselves beyond what is required.

And then there are those commitments we make to ourselves which only benefit us. I think those are the hardest to make and maintain. I made the commitment to Weight Watchers. At first it was easy, my enthusiasm carried me through for the first few weeks. But I can feel myself falter. I'm not nearly as motivated as I was before. The fact that I have to pay $40 every month helps keep me somewhat committed. So now I'm committing myself to going to the gym and working out. Not something I adore, but I know if I can get myself committed to that activity, it will strengthen my commitment to weight loss.

My goal is turn those commitments into a part of my life. I want them to be so ingrained that I don't have to work on them anymore. Does that make sense? Why are good things such hard work?

And for something fun, I started a new blog. It's called Costco Junkie and celebrates my slavish devotion to the retail monster.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Long Weekend

Before I was married I used to raise cactus as a hobby. I planted them in big pots and tended them with care. Every time I spent time on one of my cactus pots, my cat would immediately go and lay in one of the pots, heedless of the stickers. It didn't seem to bother him and we thought it was pretty funny. Something so banal as a cactus garden was enough to make him jealous.

It isn't so amusing when your kids act the same way. Those of you who look forward to the end of the toddler years because it means your kids won't need your attention so much are in for a surprise. My kids are 12, 8, and 5. If I want their attention, all I need to do is sit down in front of my computer and start writing. I kid you not, as soon as I would start writing, there they were. Even the 12 year old. And, as I mentioned earlier, I got a Wii Fit. I can count on one hand how many times I've actually gotten to use it. My kids discovered it and won't leave it alone. I don't really mind that they play with it, but every time I go to use it, they hover. They could be upstairs immersed in something, deaf and blind to everything else, but as soon as I plug in the Wii, there they are. I just want to scream.

Yeah, I tell them to go away and they scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the kitchen light, but meander back, making their presence known in the most annoying ways possible. And if it sounds like I'm comparing my kids to cockroaches, please understand, after this weekend, I wouldn't demean the cockroach so.

Hiding myself in a room and locking the door to write isn't really an option. It would simply be an engraved invitation to the Orcs to cause as much trouble as possible. Mt. Vesuvius caused less destruction than my kids can do if unattended.

However, I was still able to write 3500 words. Most of it was done in 15 minute increments, but I'll take them anyway I can. I suppose it is all about adaptability and determination. If I am truly motivated to write, I will find a way to do it.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Weird Weather

Last weekend we were in the triple digits temperature wise.'s 48 degrees and pouring rain. Ughh! I wouldn't mind so much except we have a team pizza party today which we planned to have at the park and this is Memorial Day weekend, a weekend meant for outside activities. Well, at least it gives me another excuse not to clean out my car.

I started writing again today. Nothing like Joely but I got a couple of pages this morning. As I've said, I'm writing on a new laptop which, of course, comes with the trial version of Word 07. I like it...alot. I do have Office 03 which I can take off my old laptop and re-install on my new one, but dang, I like the newer version. I've got 16 more uses so I may have to hustle my butt down to Costco and get the new version of Office. Anyway, I did get some writing done. Luckily, I'm finally in a scene with action and drama and a good looking guy. I'm hoping this weekend will get me some writing time. Not that anyone is going to give me time to write on a silver platter. It is something I have to grab. I wish I had more desire to grab it. I admire those writers who put their writing first. I just don't have that in me like I used to. Maybe it comes from my brief sojourn in having book shopped that took some of the punch out of me. I'm not sure. Or maybe its me. There are so many other things I like to do besides writing. I think I just need to find a balance. There is plenty of room in my life to do what I'd like without denying myself the things I want.

How do you find balance or have you?

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I Pity the Fool....

Who doesn't wish Mr. T a happy birthday!!!

Actually, it is the one thing Mr. T and I have in common. I'm sure he has a bigger party than I do. No big plans for me. I'm 41, not a real exciting number. I did get a new cell phone yesterday. I got the LG enV2 and in the day I've had it, I love it. Tonight hubby and I are going out to dinner just the two of us. To have a meal sans children is a gift unto itself. I did buy myself another present. I got the Wii Fit. I pre-ordered it a couple of weeks ago and it is supposed to be delivered today. Can't wait to use it.

So I got what I wanted for my birthday. What should I get for Mr. T? Any ideas?

Monday, May 19, 2008


Our weekend was ghastly. Very, very hot. And while I don't mind the heat, I do mind it in May. I expect this kind of stuff in July and August, but not this early. The mercury hit triple digits in my area and I, in my stubborness, refused to turn on the a/c during the day. Actually, my downstairs never went above 77 which I can live with. The upstairs is another story, when I went up there Saturday night, it was 90. During the day, I don't care since I don't go up there and the kids usually hang around downstairs anyway, but at night I caved and turned the a/c on. And just as we acclimate to the scorching temps, they are going to drop back down into the 70's later this week. I think I hate that most of all.

Summertime anxiety is starting to set in. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the kids. I always start with a plan and then it falls apart. Unfortunately, kids are so unpredictable and they are the perfect, shining beings you hope for. I have these fantasies of my kids eagerly participating in educational activities or fun crafts, killing a couple of hours and then it is time for lunch. After eating a nutritious meal prepared by their loving mother, they immerse themselves in outside play for another couple of hours then come in and tidy up their rooms and the toy room, leaving us with an evening for television or video games. The truth of it is that my two girls have the attention spans of gnats and any activity they indulge in loses their interest within 20 minutes. They are clever enough to make their own lunches, ignoring whatever I've suggested. It gets too hot to be outside in the afternoon and they spend the afternoon entertaining themselves by whining or fighting. And cleaning up their rooms and toy room? World War III, everytime. They do spend the evening watching television while I collapse on the couch and drink too much. I don't know what the secret is. I scrounge for fun ideas and try to make things fun for them, but the summer ends up being very disappointing. At least for me. It doesn't seem to bother them a whole lot.

What are you doing with your kids? Does it end up being an enriching, fun time like they show in the parenting magazines or does it end up being a screamfest with you on your knees praying to survive until school starts?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

New Laptop

I got a new laptop for Mother's Day. I've been trying to milk mine for awhile, determined to get another year out of it, but I had to admit defeat. Last week the cd-rom drive died. I have an external dvd recorder that I plugged in and it worked fine. But that just solved one problem. I was all set to buy a Dell from Costco but Best Buy has a nice Toshiba on sale. It has 4G of RAM and a decent video card. Alas, I haven't had much time to play with it. And boy oh boy was I cursing myself as I was moving stuff from the old machine to the new. No organization whatsoever. And there was so much junk on my machine that I had no interest in moving but it has been a pain to sort through it. I'm about done.

I also got a really cool watch from Costco. It is a Timex Ironman that controls your iPod. Isn't that cool? Perfect for working out. Now if I'd only get my body to the gym.

This computer has made reading feeds much easier so that solves my problem with having a non-functioning blogroll sidebar. On the other hand, I can't get my feed to work on my own blog. There is definitely an issue I can't resolve and I'm not familiar enough with feeds to do too much. Bear with me, I'm sure I'll get it figured out someday.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Constant Motion

I've been sick for the last couple of weeks. Just a cold, but one that lingers. The constant motion my life has been running at hasn't helped I'm sure. But base ball is coming to a close and Cotillion has ended. My kids get out of school sometime in June (I can't remember when) and Brownies ends with it. But for now, I'm rarely home and when I am home, I just want to flop on the couch.

Not a good combo for a cold but a great one for weight loss. I lost over 10lbs. in four weeks. I'm thrilled to say the least.

My Blogroll sidebar broke. I'm not sure what is the problem but I can't access it anymore from my browser. That and it has lost a couple of links. It has made bloghopping difficult. I'm a creature of routine and it has totally messed me up. How do you bloghop? Do you have a program you use? I'm thinking of going back to bloglines (is that what it's called?)