Silly Writer, Weekends are for Kids!

I think we writers are a selfish lot by nature. We love to hoard our time like misers with their gold. We have worlds in our heads looking for an escape. But time always seems like a commodity none of us have. I will be the first to admit to resenting those activities which drag me away from my keyboard.

However, none of us live in a vacuum and if we did, our writing would suffer. We gain from the outer experiences we face everyday. I honestly believe the more external activities we participate the more texture our writing acquires. Anyway, even if it didn't, we are all members of some extended family whether by blood or by interest and those ties have obligations. So it is foolish to make lofty goals when those obilgations are front and center.

I wanted to reach 100 pages this weekend. I thought it would be simple. I got a half a page done. I knew better. But my inclination is to beat myself up for the work I didn't get done knowing the weekend was going to burst with other things. I tend to set myself up. Not sure why. Maybe its a girl thing. But now, however, I'm appreiciating the weekend instead. Yeah, they're busy, but I really enjoyed watching my girls. Sorry, only tee ball pictures. I kept book (scorekeeping) for Diva's game and couldn't take pictures. A pity to because she laid down a bunt which turned into a double. She ended up scoring later in the inning with a beautiful slide.

Yeah, I didn't get my pages done, but I'm guessing the day at the ballfield will help my writing in the end. Our voices are created by our experiences. The emotions we experience in such activities leech into our writing. Euphoria and despair are played out in the microcosms of our daily existence, giving us writers the tools for translating it onto the page. Instead of seeing these weekends as a hindrance to my writing, I am working on seeing them as opportunities to deepen my skill.

Do non-writing activities inspire you in your writing? How?

The Most Busiest Time of the Year

Just when I thought I was out, the Toys R Us ad appears and pulls me back in.

If you have multiple children of sentient age, you understand the issue of balance in this gift-giving season. They know exactly how many gifts each has gotten and will claim "unfair" if those numbers differ. Quantity rather than quality is the issue. Doesn't matter what totally awesome toy they recieve, they will whine if their sibling gets more. So I've been running around with my list trying to make sure things are even without going into extreme debt. Of course, the days I have done this have been rainy and cold. Nothing like freeway driving in a icy rain storm with wind advisories, but my children are so worth it. Oops, better not roll my eyes too much or they might get stuck.

Anyway, yesterday was my crowning glory and, I think, the end of my shopping for the kids. Now I need to finish shopping for my husband. This is where I get irritated. I get coupons for Bed Bath and Beyond for 20% off of one item. Okay, there are three items I wanted so I have to keep going back to the store to get these items. Now there are other things I want there but I'm not going to waste my coupon on them. However, if the coupon extended to the entire purchase, I would spend a lot more. Heck, even 15%. So I will be making my third trip to BB&B today. And only buying one item.

I enjoy so much of the holiday season but too much of it is spent running. Yesterday I was carting Girl Scouts around in the rain to do Christmas caroling and while the girls had fun it was hectic. I've got teacher gifts to buy still and cookies to bake. Mind you, I love making cookies, but not when it is hurried.

But I'm taking a time out this evening. My hubby and I scored some free tickets to see "Australia." My folks are taking the kids and hubby and I get an evening to ourselves, a small break in the chaos of the next week. I'm not that interested in the movie, but the thought of down time without the bustle of everything else seems like Nirvana to me.

Have you found this season to be stressful? What do you do to relax?


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One Day More!

Did you see the musical "Les Miserables?" Remember the "One Day More!" scene where the people are euphoric for the next day? The song is a stirring anthem that pulses through your veins making you want to jump up on the stage with them and march around with a big flag. I feel like that right now. The joy of a new beginning fills my soul, the promise of brand new day free from tyranny beckons.

Yes, tomorrow is the first day of school!

Today promises to be busy. There are mountains of laundry to do and menus to plan. But I can assure you, I will skip, sashay, dance down the aisles of the grocery store today. I will smile as I'm folding clothes. The sun is shining just a little bit brighter in my world today.

So, anything you are looking forward to?

BTW, anyone have a good link for free web graphics. I'm really freakin' tired of these flip flops but it isn't really time for fall graphics yet. I need a change.

Three Weeks.....

Summer is winding down in one sense. School begins in three weeks and I couldn't be more excited.

I feel bad, the summer didn't quite go as planned. My children have the misfortune of having a writer for a mother who gets focused on her WIP and can't switch gears too easily. On the other hand, I have three children who find entertaining themselves nigh on impossible.

One thing I really despise is the images of motherhood on television and in magazines. They make me feel bad. I watch and read about moms who devote their days to their spawn, coming up with cute and clever craft projects for them to do. Or creative parties for the neighborhood kids. These moms turn every day into an adventure. Yuck.

I start out with the best of intentions every summer. I come up with some ideas, make plans, but they fall apart almost immediately. I live in southern California, its not like there nothing to do. There are plenty of project kits for the kids to do. I haven't been inclined to involve myself too much. Because as much as I'm not like the moms on tv and magazines, my kids aren't like those children either.

I think like all moms I feel underappreciated. I don't ask much. I want their rooms to be somewhat clean. I want them to pick up the toys they've left downstairs. I want them to stay out of the pantry. But most of all I want them to stop fighting.

Oh my goodness. I'm an only child, so there was no one to fight with. My kids seem to be elevating it to an artform. Its never physical but some of the vileness they come up with floors me. They insult each other for no apparent reason. I just want to smack them. I don't feel too inclined to do anything nice for them when they act like this.

Also, they don't want to go anywhere. When we told my son we'd take him to San Francisco with us, he didn't want to go. When I've broached the subject of going to a museum, they shrug, not really interested. Last year we bought passes to a water park and I couldn't get them interested in going. GRRRRR! And when we do go somewhere, it is a fiasco. Going to the grocery store becomes a major trauma.

Anyway, this is my summer ending vent. By June of next year I will be making plans again for the summer, conveniently blanking out this summer.

Am I alone in this? Do you find summer frusterating with your kids?

Constant Motion

I've been sick for the last couple of weeks. Just a cold, but one that lingers. The constant motion my life has been running at hasn't helped I'm sure. But base ball is coming to a close and Cotillion has ended. My kids get out of school sometime in June (I can't remember when) and Brownies ends with it. But for now, I'm rarely home and when I am home, I just want to flop on the couch.

Not a good combo for a cold but a great one for weight loss. I lost over 10lbs. in four weeks. I'm thrilled to say the least.

My Blogroll sidebar broke. I'm not sure what is the problem but I can't access it anymore from my browser. That and it has lost a couple of links. It has made bloghopping difficult. I'm a creature of routine and it has totally messed me up. How do you bloghop? Do you have a program you use? I'm thinking of going back to bloglines (is that what it's called?)

The Lady and the Gentleman

Last Thursday was Cotillion for my kids. Basically it is a charm class held once a month. They learn how to behave properly and how to dance. It's quite amusing to watch but I have noticed my son says "thank you" a lot more often. I knew my daughter would enjoy it but my son seems to like it even more. The downside is the clothes. The boys must wear a coat and tie and the girls must wear party dresses, white gloves and closed toe party shoes. It gets expensive. I found a great place online for this dress called Cutie Clothes that was reasonable and got my order out to me in just a couple of days. I also got this dress for not too bad. Luckily enough for my son, I bought a coat and pants and only change the shirt and tie. I had hoped to do some sewing for my daughter but, well, this whole remodel thing happened. I think she may get one more dress and then she needs to repeat.

We've been fortunate in my area to be the only place without wind. We haven't had any at my house and all of the fires are a good distance away. We are getting a lot of smoke and I can feel my throat and nose burning from it. Hubby's oral surgery went so much better than expected. He didn't after any nasty after-effects and the pain has been minimal. We got a new 42" plasma tv this weekend and he felt well enough to mount it on the wall.

Now onto a totally different topic. Does anyone else watch "Desperate Housewives?" Is it me or is Susan the most annoying character on television? I told my husband we are speeding through her scenes. He likes Teri Hatcher so he refused although he did agree to mute the sound.

Summertime Blues

I'm ready for summer to end. Yeah, I know, I got a ways to go but for the most part, I'm ready for change.

My first problem is obvious. The kids are home. They fight, they're slobs and they're bored. Drives me crazy. I feel bad for them on one level because when I was a kid, my street was filled with kids around my age and we all played together. They don't have that advantage. There aren't that many kids around and those that are generally aren't home. Still, there is plenty to do and my two girls are of an age that they can play together and heaven knows there are enough toys although that number has been shrinking.

Second problem arises from the first. It is impossible to keep up with the housework. My sink is filled with dishes all the time. I could run my dishwasher twice a day. During the school year, my kids eat something quick for breakfast and they eat lunch at school. With summer, they are eating at home. And they eat all the time. Healthy stuff but all seeming to require dishes. They leave their stuff around and won't pick up after themselves. This has led to multiple meltdowns on my part. I've also been picking up their toys and putting them away in a place they can't get to. There is more laundry and the bathrooms get a lot more use.

Third problem is just me. I can't seem to light enough of a fire under myself to change. In my mind, I know what I need to do, but I've felt so listless, I can't seem to operate. I had great plans for the summer, but they aren't coming to any fruition. My motivation to get things done has fallen off the chart.

Most of it is a chain reaction. I really thought my kitchen would be done this summer. I've had my new kitchen appliances sitting in my family room since March. It is a big enough stack to block a window. On top of that, I have a massive dresser my SIL insists she wants but hasn't arranged to pick up yet. It gives my house a sense of disorder. My kitchen is difficult to keep clean and its so ugly I have no desire to clean it. The disorder in my house is affecting my writing. I've actually been writing and while its good, its not what I like to write. So back to the drawing board.

Sounds like I need a vacation, right? And yes, I'm going at the end of this month which just makes it all the worse. Remember how miserable the ninth month of pregnancy is? It is the month most filled with anticipation but it is also the most uncomfortable. You're huge, you're slow and it doesn't matter what you eat, it sours on you. That's how I feel right now. In less than four weeks I'll be relaxing under palm trees at the beach but for now everything seems too much. Its more of a viewpoint issue.

It hasn't all been bad. Hubby and I got back into dance class. I found two swimsuits that fit and look cute. I've read some great books and "Hell's Kitchen" has been on. And while I'm frusterated with my writing, I'm aware that it is a bump in the road rather than an obstacle and I feel like I can get over it if I put my mind to it.

How about you? Has summer been what you thought it would be?

They Don't Tell You This in "What To Expect When You're Expecting"

I am the first to believe my kids are misbehaving. I have no blinders on when it comes to their behavior because I know what they are capable of. My mindset comes from the fact that I see too many parents who think their kids can do no wrong. They assume their children are angels and will not see or hear anything bad about their kids.

I've always been clear: if there is a problem with my kid, tell me. I'll listen, I want to know. I am more than likely going to believe you. I'm not unfair, but I know my kids aren't perfect and I want them to be likeable and pleasant, so if there is a problem, I want to fix it.

I blogged about a situation back in January about my daughter having problems with another girl and the mother's involvement. While I let the situation go, my manner towards the mother has been rather cool. I don't talk to her beyond a polite greeting. Anyway, damned if this situation hasn't popped up again. Diva never tells me when bad things happen. For her, its like water off a duck's back. She doesn't hold things against people and she has a strong enough ego that the actions of others don't really bother her. However, I do here about things from other mothers whose kids do talk. Apparently the little girl who hosted the pre-Christmas slumber party has been a brat and causing all sorts of drama and my daughter has been the focus of it. The teacher mentioned it to me and has assured me the little girl will be in a different class from the other girls. She and others assure me Diva is the victim in this one.

One of the other little girls hosted a spring break slumber party the other night. When I dropped off Diva, I talked to the mom. The other little girl didn't RSVP (which annoyed the hostess since she planned the party based on the RSVP's) but showed up anyway. When she mentioned this to the mother, the mom said well, since my kid wasn't there, it shouldn't be a problem. When hostess mom said that my daughter would be there, the mom proceeded to tell the hostess how our daughters were sworn enemies and there was going to be problems. Hostess mom, who gets a big high five here, tells her that if there is a problem, she will call her so she can come and pick up her daughter. The other mom was a bit taken aback by that. Hostess mom knows the score and wasn't real thrilled. Diva is one of her daughter's favorite friends and she says Diva is the one child who never says anything bad about anyone else. Anyway, the party went fine, the girls had a good time and there were no problems, no fights and the girls all behaved perfectly.

So here's my dilemna. I feel like the other mother is fomenting trouble. My first inclination is to go on the offensive and have a "chat" with her. I despise this idea that she is spreading trouble for my kid and I'm pissed. My maternal instincts are offended. My rational side says to let it go. We have less than two months left of school. All the other parents who deal with me and my kid (including the teacher) know the score and who is really causing the trouble. To say something to her would be more for my benefit, getting my irritation off my chest. I'm not at my best when I'm emotional.

I really find it hard to believe there is so much drama in elementary school and that parents feel the need to cause more. I expected this kind of stuff in jr. high and high school.

Wii-sy Come, Wii-sy Go

I got the kids a Wii this weekend. The heavens opened up, choirs of angels broke into song, the earth stopped its rotation for just a moment all in response to the momentuous occasion.

And now its gone.

Here is the dark truth to why parents buy their kids video game consoles. Its so we can take them away. Unfortunately, my family rarely reflects what you see on a sitcom. My kids aren't like those "Cosby" kids or the "Full House" crowd, they don't learn a Very Important Lesson in the span of a half-hour. I wish they did, although those t.v. kids were always kind of dull.

Being a parent is like living in a war zone. A gentle one most of the time, but there are battles that must be fought, lines drawn, etc. etc. For my family, there is a major battle that has been waging for years. My kids won't clean up after themselves. Can't just say "go clean your room." Doesn't work. So I am constantly looking for more leverage.

The Wii is our latest weapon. We let them play with it for a couple of days, got them hooked then went and inspected their rooms and the other areas upstairs. BAM! The Wii is gone now and they don't get it back for a week, even if they get the upstairs looking like a model home. They have this afternoon to do some cleaning, and if it hasn't improved, something else gets taken away.

I don't enjoy taking things from my kids. Mainly because if I take everything away, they are downstairs bugging me. Also, they will win this one if we get too far. For the most part, you could put one of my kids in an empty room with a piece of paper and they could entertain themselves, I was the same way, drove my mom crazy.

Now to put a writing spin on it. Ummm....okay, conflict. I've noticed that my writing is darker, more conflicted since having kids. I'm surrounded by conflict and really, conflict is all the same in that it brings out the same emotions whether its trying to get my kids to clean their room or a heroine trying to convince the faeries court that the great horned demons are going to attack. The frusterations are similar. The horror of seeing how my kids' bedrooms are destroyed is similar to the horror my heroine feels when she sees her apartment ravaged by goblins looking for the lost amulet of Paicoma. You get the picture.

I'm going to drag my youngest upstairs and battle with her over cleaning up the barbies. It will be a battle of titans, two monsters engaging in a fierce fight, blood and tissue flying with grusome abandon, at least that's how it will show up in one of my books.