Sunday, May 10, 2009

One Memory

Today is Mother's Day, the one day out of the year we show appreciation of our mothers by getting them a cheesy Hallmark card and boquet of flowers from the grocery store. I'm not really a big fan of the day. I think its because I had three of them where I was in early pregnancy which meant vicious hormones and even more vicious morning sickness.

My mother, mother-in-law and sister-in-law will be coming over this evening for dinnner. Not really a relaxing event (I'm still doing a lot of the cooking) but it does make me think of my mom.

I have a mother who can do so much. She is talented with crafts and the garden. She is endlessly supportive. She is traditional. She would cut off her arm for her grandkids. My mom was very involved in my life. I'm an only child and we moved around quite bit when I was a kid, she didn't have a whole lot of choice in the matter. So there is a catalog of memories I have. But I have one which I doubt she has any recollection of. It happened when I was four which was umm....well, way too many years ago to think about. I remember wanting a crown. I'd probably been watching some show with a princess or something. My mom got out cardboard, foil and some glue and made me a crown. I don't remember much beyond that, but I still harbor the memory.

Now that I'm a mother, I try to keep that memory fresh. Because that simple crown sticks out more to me than other things. When I worry about how my house looks or if dinner is going to be something more than frozen pizza, I think about that crown. Those are the memories children take with them So in the midst of the frazzle lives we lead, we need to remember what really is important. Your kids don't care about the state of the house. They don't care if you are Julia Childs in the kitchen. Their expectations are quite different. A trip to the donut shop on a Sunday morning. Baking cookies together on a rainy afternoon. A game of volleyball in the backyard. Those are the things kids remember. Your presence in their lives is what they remember. And it is what will influence them when they are parents.

What memory do you have with your mom which has influenced you as a parent?

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