NaNoWriMo: Down the Drain....

Last week ended my dreams of a NaNo win. Disheartening, but stuff happens.

The problem with being a writer, a mother and a wife is that the priorities are constantly changing. It is something I accept and unfortunately writing often falls into third place. It doesn't depress me, I'm realistic. When I married and had children, I was joining into something else, into a unit which takes precedence over my individual wants and needs. Writing is a personal thing for me, it is something I do for myself. No one else in the family understands what it means although they try to support me where they can. But not at the expense of the family.

I know it sounds bad, I find writers very protective of their writing and believe it should take priority over other things. I think that works for some people. It never has for me. My own personality contributes to this. I can't write in chaos thus my house has to be clean. I have children in too many activities and I insist in participating in them. If I'm going to commit myself to such, then I have to be prepared to put my writing aside.

And yet, I still see plenty of opportunities I had to write. I still need to be more productive with my time. I get distracted. There were plenty of moments where I could have pounded out a few hundred words. But I just didn't want to. With two birthdays to celebrate, three soccer practices, a baseball practice, laying sod in the yard, Cotillion, soccer games, baseball games, a baseball party and a birthday party to organize all in one week, I found it hard to concentrate.

But that wasn't the kicker. Losing power for 24 hours was what finally did me in. Tuesday night I had plans. I'd spent all day running errands and preparing for the week. My husband had a meeting that night so I knew I'd get two solid hours of writing time. Things were smooth. Until the lights flared in my house then went out completely. A transformer blew on the poll outside my house leaving me and two other houses without power. The electric company was out all night getting it fixed. The surge screwed up the main switch to my house so I had to get that repaired before the power would come back on. It put me so far behind and I couldn't write (no, I don't hand write, I'm too slow). So I give. I'm going to keep writing this week and see how much I can get, but Thanksgiving is this week and I'm hosting so I'm going to have to work on that.

Anyway, I wish the best to the other NaNos and hope they all get their 50K in. Its quite the accomplishment and I'm cheering you all on.

How Was Your Weekend?

I don't usually go into monologues about my weekend, but this one was crazy.

I had it planned, Saturday was going to be golden. I was going to write like the wind, crank up my word count and generally bury myself at my keyboard. My older daughter had soccer clinic in the morning and my husband had a car rally. My daughter wanted to go so I said I would go ahead and meet the rally at their first stopping point and drop her off. Saturday night was also my nephews' birthday party and their mom asked if my other two kids could come over early. Even better.

Soccer clinic coach said clinic would be over an hour earlier than planned so I went ahead and went to pick up my daughter an hour early. Nope, they weren't done. I could have writing for that hour. I didn't bother bringing anything to read so it was frustrating. But hey, I was going to have the afternoon. Got my daughter home and ready and told my other kids to get ready as well because after I dropped of their sister it would be close to time to drop them off.

Off we go in the convertible. Beautiful weather for a quick jaunt into the mountains. Of course there is an accident on the freeway so we were stuck for awhile. But it was okay, once we got passed the accident we had plenty of time. We get off the freeway and head up the mountain road. And we keep going...and going...and going.... I had thought the restaurant the car club was meeting at was about 14 miles in. But we were still climbing. Son asks "how much gas do we have?"

Oh, crap.

Yeah, I was at about an 1/8th of a tank and still hadn't reached our destination. Oh, and there was no cell service. I'm about to turn around when we spy a ranger station. I ask the ranger where this restaurant is and he tells me I could walk to it from where we are. Anyway, we head to the restaurant and of course beat the car club by a half hour. Finally they show. My kids are hungry, it is well past lunch but they are too irritated to stay. I hand over my kid to my husband we take off. And I find out we have gone 28 miles. We have to go back another 28 miles to reach the gas station. So with many prayers, we head back down the mountain. Luckily, it is down hill. My son is scared of mountain roads while his sister loves them so it was an interesting drive. I'm trying not to use gas so I'm using physics to keep this car going. Anyway, we did make with probably a lot more gas to spare, but I don't like that feeling. We fill up and I head back to my in laws' house with the kids. And of course we hit traffic.

By the way, did you know you can get sunburned in a convertible?

I got the kids dropped off, got home and it was after 4:30. I had to be back at my SIL's at 6. My golden day was toast. Don't you hate when that happens? Yesterday was a little easier and I got some writing done. My daughter had a planned sleepover with a friend. Another friend called and she got invited over as well, so I have three 5th grade girls over right now. I'm taking them to an amusement park, so I guess writing is on hold today.

So how was your weekend?

Joie De Vivre

I am shamelessly stealing this post topic from Melissa. I think about the concept a lot these days because I forget to look for the joy. While Melissa is focusing on the joy she receives from writing, I want to take it a step further.

Summer is a tough time for me. I'm a loner by nature and I enjoy peace and quiet, not only for writing but for everything else. But summer brings home the children and those days of quiet are gone. Instead, I am surrounded by the chaos three children can bring. Its grating, I will admit. But I get frustrated by my negativity. This is the reality of my life and it is up to me to see the good and find the joy.

Now I only have a month left but better late than never. Instead of harping on what I haven't done or how the kids' fighting is driving me crazy, I should have been focusing on how to find things to do with them which incorporates the joy in life. I should have been focusing on how to incorporate them into my world rather than how to keep them out.

I think as writers we tend to tunnelvision our world onto the computer screen. If our writing isn't going right, then nothing else is either. But I honestly think negativity breeds more negativity. If the writing isn't going write, maybe I need to stop and find something else to do, burn out that negative energy and find joy in something else. Sometimes its just a little thing like cooking dinner with my son or playing ball with my girls. Maybe its a book you found at the bookstore. Or it could be something big like a vacation. My point is, the joy in life doesn't just happen. It isn't some sparkly mist which floats upon us from above. Being happy is hard work. Being depressed is pretty easy.

So tell me one thing you are going to do this week to give yourself a little joy.

By the way...I posted over at Ainsley Park about the blend of historical and the paranormal.

Stumbling Blocks

August has proven to be a problem already. I feel like this hummingbird, beating my wings and flitting from feeder to feeder slurping down sugar water in humongous quantities. Well, actually, I drink Diet Coke. And not as much as these little birds. I'm going through 98 oz. of nectar every other day.

Dearest husband took on the responsibility of coaching Diva's soccer team. My problem is that when he coaches, I get dragged into it more than I like. Baseball took up so much of my time last season that I looked forward to soccer season because we aren't as participitory, at least I'm not. We both get to sit on the sidelines and cheer our daughter on together. But such is life, we'll get through it. However, things have changed thanks to a mishap with a gardening tool.

Dearest husband dropped a tool with spikes on his foot. It broke his foot and he will be out of action per se for six weeks. So who has been drafted to be special executive assistant soccer coach? Yeah, you guessed it. Yesterday I went to a coaches' clinic. Oh boy, I showed why I am a writer and not a professional athlete. I have the coordination of an inebriated three legged dog. Sigh.... I've coached soccer before on a lower level but not much was required of me. This time, however I have to try and teach these girls trick and drills without falling on my face.

We have one month before school starts and I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to it. But I also know it means a whole new wave of activity. Finding time to write is going to be harder and yet more essential than ever. Amid the fiascos that have occurred over the last couple of weeks, I've been pretty steady on the writing front. I've managed to crank out 8K words in the last week. Cheaper than therapy and less calories than margaritas I guess.

As I said in my last post, I'm working on something I haven't tried before. Perhaps this has made me focus harder when I write. Certainly the world I'm in with this WIP is completely foreign to me, an exotic locale my mind can wander it. No husbands with broken feet who need lots of attention. No children calling for me. No obligations really. Truly, I find it unbelievable I've been able to write so much in so little time. Particularly since I'm so unsure on this story. Ah well...I guess I should go with it.

Winding Down

Sorry, it looked as though I had disappeared from the face of the earth. But the end of school seems to kick everything into overdrive. I don't remember the end of the school year being like this when I was a kid. It's like Christmas around here. We have a constant stream of events at the school which all require participation. Last week I attended two end of the year plays and a school fair. I baked and cooked for two major functions. I attended one team party. Started organizing another. On top of this are the other activities beyond. Baseball has been all consuming this year and it came to an end on Saturday.

My daughter's team played a 3 1/2 hour game. It went to 8 innings. In normal game play, the drop dead time is 2 hours, no matter what the score, but because this was tournament, it could not end in a tie. So we played until the tie was broken. It was exhausting, particularly for the kids. Anyway, it was a disappointing loss, but part of me can't help being relieved. Now I'm working on the team party which is a whole other job.

I wonder why I do this and how I got into this position. I certainly didn't plan it. My life's blueprint did not involve this level of immersion into kid activities. And now I find it is pretty much what I do, it is the center of my life. Of course writing has taken a backseat, I haven't written anything in at least a week, probably longer. Do my children appreciate it? Of course not, kids aren't wired that way. They believe they deserve it. Do I enjoy it? Yeah, I suppose. My nature is to be reclusive and anti-social, but being involved forces me to interact with others.

There are times I'd really like to chuck it. I'd like to spend my time writing and not get involved. But I'm also aware of how difficult it is to get published, how easy it is to get sucked into the emotional roller coaster of rejection and triumph which is a writing career. It can become too important. In thirty years' time, no one is going to remember my writing. But I do think my kids will look back in thirty years and remember how much it meant to them to have me there.

Of course, if they end up being a bunch of axe murderers, I'm going to be all kinds of ticked.

Summertime and the Writing is Easy....

...or not.

My kids have seventeen actual days of school left. In a month they will be at home, constantly unless I put them into activities. Not sure about that yet, I don't really want to spend the money. Camps, classes, programs all cost money and they seem to get more expensive every year. Multiply by three and you can see the dilemna. But if I want to get any writing done, I need the precious angels occupied. I could construct a square ring in the spare bedroom and let them fight it out all summer. They seemed to enjoy doing that last year. Those kids would fight over the color of the sky if it meant an opportunity to scream at the top of their lungs.

But I have writing plans this summer. I'm over 40% through my current WIP and I want it done before the end of summer. Plans and strategies have to be made. My biggest problem is my lack of organization. I seem to melt when the final school bell rings. Part of my brain wants to shut off during the three months off. My kids also seem to forget they are human and revert to being rabid badgers.

The kids are older this year so I hope that accounts for something. I'm hoping they are more open to bribery this summer. I don't like to punish them, but I do find myself taking things away and denying them rewards. Trying to stay on top of everything is tough when my ultra-busy schedule dwindles to nothing. Its too eays to fall into slug habits. And as they say idle hands are the devil's playground. Goes for me too.

Will having your kids home require you to find new writing strategies? Are you going to do something with your kids this summer?

I'm Doing Them No Favors

My husband and I are far too indulgent of our children. They generally get what they want. Our lives rotate around them, their activities dictating our time and energy. We suspend our own interests to indulge theirs. And I don't mind. I enjoy watching my kids play sports and I like participating in my daughter's Girl Scout troop. I honestly think the activities they paricipate in will help them in their adult lives.

But I have failed them in the domestic sphere. My kids don't have any set chores. They slide on cleaning up their rooms. They do their own laundry but they don't help anywhere else. And it isn't because I want to indulge them, its simply a matter of laziness. It is easier to do it myself than delegate it to someone else. I'm doing them no favors. In six years my son will be out of the house at college living with other people and he won't have a sense of responsibility of participating in a household. I'm sure many of you had to live with someone like that when you were in school. I know I did. It would be a pity if my kids ended up being those people.

I know I need to make a change but boy, how do you introduce it without A) starting a fight and B) taking over the chore because they suck at it?

No No NaNo Weekend

Having NaNo start on a Saturday is not a good idea for me, particularly when Friday was Halloween and I have children running around on a methaphetimine-like candy high. Thing was totally out of control. None of them would listen and if they saw me on the computer they picked that time to demand something or chat about their lives.

My kids sense there is a new "baby" in the house and they don't like it. This new creature is taking Mom's attention away from them. And right now, the new kid is my favorite. I don't have to make it lunch or urge it to get dressed. I also don't have to yell at it to clean its room.

The NaNo website has been difficult to put it mildly. I can't get in to post my word count. Not that it is impressive. I've got some making up to do this week. I should have time.

I will give some kudos to my AlphaSmart and I'm starting to wonder why I haven't been using it more. I took it with me to the baseball game and did some writing while I waited for the game to start. Not a lot of words but any little bit helps.

Too Hot Halloween?

Friday is the big day, one of the highlights of my kids' lives. They have anticipated Halloween since summer. My son when he was little, would choose his costume the day after Halloween for the next year and stick with it. Back then I sewed his costumes. One year he was a skunk, a pumpkin, a dinosaur and an alien. Amazingly enough, his sisters were skunks, pumpkins and dinosaurs. But as they got older they fell under the spell of store bought costumes. I must admit, I didn't mind too much because the costumes aren't bad and they cost less than it would for me to make them. But I'm starting to notice a trend with girls' Halloween costumes. They're getting, well, sexy. Apparently this is a trend noted by professionals as this "Today" clips shows:



The L.A. Times also has an article about the trend:Sexy Halloween costumes . . . for little girls?


My daughters were drawn to many of these costumes. They are glamorous and shiny with spangles of all sorts attached. They are also ultra-short, bare-midriffed, exceptionally tight, off the shoulder and plunging in the neckline. I'm not a prude per se and I fully appreciate the fun of Halloween. Kids get to pretend to be something else for a night. But really, does my 8 year old need to dress like a French maid? Doesn't this just seem inappropriate? And what is this costume saying?Nothing good as far as I can see.

Is this acceptable? Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill? Is this just Halloween fun or is there a more provocative message being sent?

Heaven

Ah, the first day of school. It rates with Christmas on my favorite day scale. I know it sounds like I don't like my kids. That isn't the case, but after a summer of the constant tension of having them around, I can't wait to get rid of them.

Yesterday I went out for a two hour breakfast with a friend then came home and sat in a stupor of euphoria for an hour before it was time to pick them up. This year is extra-special because Thing is now in school full day. I can actually hear myself think. Today I'm catching up on laundry and trying to get over the shock of being in a quiet house. I'm celebrating by cranking up the stereo and listening to the New Wave channel on XM radio.

But it is too easy to fall into a habit of doing nothing. I'm hoping I can appreciate the time I have now and use it wisely. However, I think that can wait until Monday.

Three Weeks.....

Summer is winding down in one sense. School begins in three weeks and I couldn't be more excited.

I feel bad, the summer didn't quite go as planned. My children have the misfortune of having a writer for a mother who gets focused on her WIP and can't switch gears too easily. On the other hand, I have three children who find entertaining themselves nigh on impossible.

One thing I really despise is the images of motherhood on television and in magazines. They make me feel bad. I watch and read about moms who devote their days to their spawn, coming up with cute and clever craft projects for them to do. Or creative parties for the neighborhood kids. These moms turn every day into an adventure. Yuck.

I start out with the best of intentions every summer. I come up with some ideas, make plans, but they fall apart almost immediately. I live in southern California, its not like there nothing to do. There are plenty of project kits for the kids to do. I haven't been inclined to involve myself too much. Because as much as I'm not like the moms on tv and magazines, my kids aren't like those children either.

I think like all moms I feel underappreciated. I don't ask much. I want their rooms to be somewhat clean. I want them to pick up the toys they've left downstairs. I want them to stay out of the pantry. But most of all I want them to stop fighting.

Oh my goodness. I'm an only child, so there was no one to fight with. My kids seem to be elevating it to an artform. Its never physical but some of the vileness they come up with floors me. They insult each other for no apparent reason. I just want to smack them. I don't feel too inclined to do anything nice for them when they act like this.

Also, they don't want to go anywhere. When we told my son we'd take him to San Francisco with us, he didn't want to go. When I've broached the subject of going to a museum, they shrug, not really interested. Last year we bought passes to a water park and I couldn't get them interested in going. GRRRRR! And when we do go somewhere, it is a fiasco. Going to the grocery store becomes a major trauma.

Anyway, this is my summer ending vent. By June of next year I will be making plans again for the summer, conveniently blanking out this summer.

Am I alone in this? Do you find summer frusterating with your kids?

Back To Writing

I've plunged head first into writing again. In the last week I've cranked out about 13K words. Why now?

I've been trying to analyze the reasons. How could I go from a complete standstill to a word-cranker almost over night? It seems impossible to me, but page counts don't lie.

Is it a change in motivation? I don't think so. I've said it before and I stick with it. Writers are always motivated to write. That's part of their frustration, they want to write, crave the opportunity to bury themselves in their work, produce reams and reams of prose. But the distractions of life tend to interfere. I think about writing all the time, I plot stories in my head, spend an inordinate amount of time in daydreams creating characters. But when it comes to execution, I fall flat.

One of my biggest problems is that I'm spread pretty thin. Every year there is a bit more expected of me on all fronts. As a mom, I end up chauffering my kids around to their various activites. I also volunteer in their sports, school and extracurricular activites. I've read articles by writers who tell writers to avoid volunteering because it takes time from their writing. I disagree with that attitude. No book is as important as your family. If you can, spend an hour in your kid's classroom or helping out at a soccer practice once a week. It's not going to completely destroy your writing schedule. You can easily make it up by skipping some t.v. I do tend to volunteer too much for multiple reasons, not all of them altruistic. Its a good avoidance tactic from my writing.

Ah yes, avoidance. If I don't write it, I don't have to worry that its crap. That is a big one. Before I landed representation, I wrote without reservations. I'd had no experience with the marketplace so therefore I didn't feel any inhibitions. That changed when I finally experienced getting my book shopped. It twisted my thinking. It hindered my writing. By finding other distractions, I didn't have to deal with the fact my writing had wilted.

I also let other things overwhelm me. My "can't write in a dirty house" obsession is still there, but not as bad. My house doesn't get quite as dirty since my kids are older. And those three distractions have eased somewhat. The youngest can finally play with the olders without it being a constant fiasco.

My excuses pretty much evaporated. I also realized that I was going to the RWA conference without anything in the queue. I'm not planning on pitching anything, but it would be embarassing to get into a conversation with someone and admit I wasn't working on anything. I'd like to at least say I was finishing up my latest and hoping to have it submitted to my agent real soon. I'm finally comfortable enough to let my muse go and enjoy the writing again without worrying about whether it is marketable. It was marketable before, it will be again. Gotta trust myself moer.

Then there's the agent. I emailed her and and told her I'd have something to her around the end of the month. I'll feel like an utter fool if I didn't deliver.

I've instituted some self-discipline: I haven't played SimCity for week and I only go to TMZ a couple of times a day. Aware that I'm going to get distracted by the kids and house, I don't get upset, I make sure I do something else as well. I have to get up anyway so my back doesn't ache and give my fingers a rest. And finally, I discovered a New Wave staion on iTunes radio and I play it constantly. Nothing like a little synthesizer and drum machine to get the writing flowing.

Cruel Summer Part 2

I was hoping to be in full summer mode by now but we had a couple of things happen.

First, my mother in law ended up in the hospital. Her gall bladder ruptured. Because of her physical condition (she is very heavy plus her lungs are shot and she is on oxygen all the time) surgery was a dicey proposition. It was touch and go there for awhile. Fortunately, she made it through surgery and is doing far better than her doctors predicted. She is home now but the healing process is going to take awhile. I think it has made her take her health more seriously and I also think she realizes now how much she does have to live for.

Next up is the car accident. We bought a brand new F-150 a month ago (if you want a truck, now is the time to buy them, they aren't selling due to the gas prices and you can get a sweet deal). It's a very nice car with this really pretty paint color (desert sand, a rich, creamy metallic color). Last week we took the kids to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. It was smooth sailing all morning. The traffic was light going in, the aquarium wasn't very crowded and the kids behaved. They didn't fight and seemed to have a good time. We had a nice lunch and the kids behave liked angels.

Of course this was going to end badly.

We head home. Traffic is a little heavy, it was July 3rd so people were getting out of work early to start their weekend. But it wasn't unbearable. Then it happens. We're in the carpool lane. Two cars in the lanes next to us tangle (I only saw it out of the corner of my eye) and swerved into our lane. Hubby tried his best to avoid the collision but we ended up clipping one of the cars. Honestly, I barely felt the impact, I'm not sure the kids knew what happened. So we all pull off the freeway and have to way for two hours to get it all sorted out. The car we hit didn't get any real damage from us. His car was pretty munched from the initial accident. My truck isn't damaged too badly, but it's enough that it's going to need to be fixed and and have some paint work done. We didn't even have the license plates yet.

What ticks me off about this was I was going to suggest we hang around downtown Long Beach. They have this cute little tourist trap village and I thought it would be fun to wander around and maybe grab a bite to eat. But decided that the last thing we needed to do was get stuck on the freeway in the afternoon. Of course, by the time the highway patrol got to the scene and took their reports, it was the late in the afternoon and we got stuck in traffic going home. Yeah, no one was hurt and that's a good thing, but I'm still ticked. BTW, this isn't the first new car my hubby has banged up. We hadn't had my convertible for a year and he got it nearly totalled. It wasn't his fault, but still. And when his Taurs SHO was new he crunch someone. That was a doozy. Finding parts for that car was a beast.

And finally, I can't find a mophead for my mop. I have a Libman miracle mop and the mophead died. I can't find the replacement. I found it online, but by the time I buy the mophead and have it shipped, I could bought a new mop.

Hope your summer is proving aggravation-free.

Long Weekend

Before I was married I used to raise cactus as a hobby. I planted them in big pots and tended them with care. Every time I spent time on one of my cactus pots, my cat would immediately go and lay in one of the pots, heedless of the stickers. It didn't seem to bother him and we thought it was pretty funny. Something so banal as a cactus garden was enough to make him jealous.

It isn't so amusing when your kids act the same way. Those of you who look forward to the end of the toddler years because it means your kids won't need your attention so much are in for a surprise. My kids are 12, 8, and 5. If I want their attention, all I need to do is sit down in front of my computer and start writing. I kid you not, as soon as I would start writing, there they were. Even the 12 year old. And, as I mentioned earlier, I got a Wii Fit. I can count on one hand how many times I've actually gotten to use it. My kids discovered it and won't leave it alone. I don't really mind that they play with it, but every time I go to use it, they hover. They could be upstairs immersed in something, deaf and blind to everything else, but as soon as I plug in the Wii, there they are. I just want to scream.

Yeah, I tell them to go away and they scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the kitchen light, but meander back, making their presence known in the most annoying ways possible. And if it sounds like I'm comparing my kids to cockroaches, please understand, after this weekend, I wouldn't demean the cockroach so.

Hiding myself in a room and locking the door to write isn't really an option. It would simply be an engraved invitation to the Orcs to cause as much trouble as possible. Mt. Vesuvius caused less destruction than my kids can do if unattended.

However, I was still able to write 3500 words. Most of it was done in 15 minute increments, but I'll take them anyway I can. I suppose it is all about adaptability and determination. If I am truly motivated to write, I will find a way to do it.

Blazing

Our weekend was ghastly. Very, very hot. And while I don't mind the heat, I do mind it in May. I expect this kind of stuff in July and August, but not this early. The mercury hit triple digits in my area and I, in my stubborness, refused to turn on the a/c during the day. Actually, my downstairs never went above 77 which I can live with. The upstairs is another story, when I went up there Saturday night, it was 90. During the day, I don't care since I don't go up there and the kids usually hang around downstairs anyway, but at night I caved and turned the a/c on. And just as we acclimate to the scorching temps, they are going to drop back down into the 70's later this week. I think I hate that most of all.

Summertime anxiety is starting to set in. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the kids. I always start with a plan and then it falls apart. Unfortunately, kids are so unpredictable and they are the perfect, shining beings you hope for. I have these fantasies of my kids eagerly participating in educational activities or fun crafts, killing a couple of hours and then it is time for lunch. After eating a nutritious meal prepared by their loving mother, they immerse themselves in outside play for another couple of hours then come in and tidy up their rooms and the toy room, leaving us with an evening for television or video games. The truth of it is that my two girls have the attention spans of gnats and any activity they indulge in loses their interest within 20 minutes. They are clever enough to make their own lunches, ignoring whatever I've suggested. It gets too hot to be outside in the afternoon and they spend the afternoon entertaining themselves by whining or fighting. And cleaning up their rooms and toy room? World War III, everytime. They do spend the evening watching television while I collapse on the couch and drink too much. I don't know what the secret is. I scrounge for fun ideas and try to make things fun for them, but the summer ends up being very disappointing. At least for me. It doesn't seem to bother them a whole lot.

What are you doing with your kids? Does it end up being an enriching, fun time like they show in the parenting magazines or does it end up being a screamfest with you on your knees praying to survive until school starts?

Constant Motion

I've been sick for the last couple of weeks. Just a cold, but one that lingers. The constant motion my life has been running at hasn't helped I'm sure. But base ball is coming to a close and Cotillion has ended. My kids get out of school sometime in June (I can't remember when) and Brownies ends with it. But for now, I'm rarely home and when I am home, I just want to flop on the couch.

Not a good combo for a cold but a great one for weight loss. I lost over 10lbs. in four weeks. I'm thrilled to say the least.

My Blogroll sidebar broke. I'm not sure what is the problem but I can't access it anymore from my browser. That and it has lost a couple of links. It has made bloghopping difficult. I'm a creature of routine and it has totally messed me up. How do you bloghop? Do you have a program you use? I'm thinking of going back to bloglines (is that what it's called?)

Doldrums

So I've been working on a post expressing my exuberance of over the emergence of spring. The grayness of winter has left the southland, promising Beach Boy-kinds of days and the kind of sun that forces me to wear sunglasses. We got the convertible out of storage and I'd already driven it once. ONCE. Friday things changed. It started getting downright chilly. Last night it started raining. It's pouring right now. Ugh.

Anyway, the start of spring turns up the level of activities around here. The kindergarten classes at her school did a Medieval Day. Here's my little princess. The teachers cordoned off the kindergarten area from the rest of the school and turned it into a village. They had a stage with a lutest, harpist, bagpipe player and a juggler performing. Parents put on workshops with various crafts and skills like paper making and grinding wheat. At the end the kids had a huge feast. It was really cute if a tad ambitious.

We are knee-deep in baseball. Hubby is coaching a team again this year. Some of you might remember we had a team with 7 girls on it last year. This year he decided it wasn't worth the controversy and drafted only two girls (Diva and one other). Didn't matter. Only 4 girls are playing in their division this year. However, the two girls on our team are two of the best players. When they play together in the infield, the are lethal. We get lots of comments. Usually its "I didn't know girls could play baseball like that." What the hell kind of comment is that? What are they supposed to play like? I better get off that soapbox or my "I am woman hear me roar" persona will flare up like a bad case of heartburn.

Supernerd was gone last week to Outdoor Science School. It was weird having my little boy gone for a whole week. He was cut off from his computer, video games, television, etc. He didn't even have time to read. I was worried. I half expected a meltdown. But he came back happy if a little (okay, a lot) stinky. He took one shower and confessed tonight that he'd forgotten to take his toiletries with him so he didn't use soap. And he only brushed his teeth once since he'd forgotten toothpaste. I mentioned that he could have borrowed a dab of paste from his buddies, but apparently oral hygiene was low on the list of things they were worried about.

Work has been horrible. Hubby had a summary judgement motion one week and a trial this week, ergo I was chained to the copy machine doing exhibits and creating trial notebooks. I can't tell you how much that blows. We need to get through April then it will be time to start interviewing my replacement. I wish his old secretary would come back.

Now the amazing thing is that I've kept up my writing. Unfortunately, that means my blogging shrank. Given 5 minutes to choose between writing and blogging, writing has won out. I've found by writing a little bit everyday, I've made real progress. And when I'm stuck, I make myself quit. Sure enough, the next day when I give myself 5 minutes, I am able to pick back up and continue on.

This week should be a bit more mellow. Trials are over and we have a lull before the next begins. Now its time to start focusing on that diet. The end of July will be here before I know it.

The Lady Vanishes

Nothing too dramatic to account for my disappearance. I've been sick most of this month. Just a cold that grew into something worse. With three kids, work and all the other stuff, I didn't get the opportunity to convalesce at all. Anyway, this is the first week where I've actually felt human.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. There always seems so much to do. And instead of diving in and getting it done, I sit almost catatonic and play video games instead. I know most of that is due to pounding sinuses and nights spent hacking up a lung, but it can be crushing. I didn't realize how much I would miss those four hours a day I had at home that I now spend at the office. I certainly didn't appreciate it when I had it. Isn't that how it is in life? We don't have the wisdom to appreciate what we have until we lose it.

I actually like work. I'm not sure why, it is kind of dull work, but it isn't housecleaning. At first it was difficult to get into the swing of things, but now I find it kind of relaxing. And it doesn't involve my kids.

Oh, for Valentine's Day I did get these:

They are pink fresh water pearls. I love pearls, I think they are so elegant. I wear them all the time, particularly when I clean house. Gives me that June Cleever feeling.

Long Time No Post

Where has the time gone? Nowhere fun, I can tell ya. I'm no longer an SAHM. My hubby's secretary moved to Las Vegas and lucky me, I get to take her place. I work four hours a day at the office. It totally sucks. Luckily I have Yahoo messenger there and I can chat with Melissa and we can figure out who's day blows more. I should probably install MySpaceIM so I can compare rotten days to my other chat friends.

It isn't hard work but it is boring. My dh is an attorney and he does most of his own stuff. I pretty much do all the filing and make sure his documents get filed with the court and served on the interested parties. I also answer the phone but fortunately hardly anyone calls him. Most of his clients communicate by email. You would think this electronic form of communication would save on paper. BUT NO...Mr. Sustainable prints out the damn things.

Of course I'm still expected to do the same things that I did as an SAHM. Volunteer at the school. Clean house. Cook. I end up doing three meals a day essentially. Breakfast in the morning. Making four lunches (which is a mighty pain) and then dinner. As you can imagine, I'm not getting much free time to do a whole lot else. I've worked outside the home before, but things were different then. I had two kids and a smaller house. Neither of them were in school yet. My husband came home and did the cooking at night. I had a housekeeper.

I'm probably going to hire someone to come in and clean. But the house still isn't done. Yeah, I know, a familiar refrain from my blogs. They are working on the outside of the house. We are having some stone work done and getting the house re-stuccoed. We decided to bite the bullet and just get it all done now. Then we will never have to do it again.

I'm back to writing again. I should be doing laundry or something but I'm squeezing in some time. I've gone back to writing a romance and I'm doing it in 3rd person, more to see if I still can. Romance writing is so hard. Making a relationship the focal point of a book is tough. In the last few years I've written more about one character developing with the romance being a secondary element. I write a lot of action with fight scenes and magic. Switching that concept the other way around is a lot harder. Which is why I'm doing it in third. I can get into more heads that way.

I'm going to try and visit y'all throughout the day. I'm home right now waiting for a fireplace to show up. Long story.

Hanging on by a Thread

Sorry, I have disappeared for awhile. Things have been...rough to say the least. I'm still trapped in remodel hell. But things are progressing. They are finishing the painting today. Hubby is having more oral surgery tomorrow so we kicked the guys out for Friday and Saturday. Monday the cabinets are supposed to come in. That will take a few days to do but at least we are at the back stretch. I had no idea how difficult this was going to be. I don't care if I never go out to eat again. For the most part, we don't come home until 8 p.m. since we have to find food. Some nights we eat with my parents and my inlaws. Other nights it is heat and eat from Costco. The other nights are made up of going out to eat. It really sucks. Before this I cooked dinner 5-6 nights a week. I really miss it.

I've tried writing but I have absolutely no focus. So I'm going to make the charge in November and do Nanowrimo. Anyone else taking the challenge?

Tonight is Cotillion for my kids. It is basically a charm school for the elementary set. They learn to dance and act properly. My son complained because the girl made him lead the whole time when they were dancing. Sigh..... My daughter likes it since she gets to dress up. However, she isn't really thrilled with the dress I picked out for her, not enough sequins I guess. I'll post pictures tomorrow and let you decide.

Well, I'm keeping this short so I can go and visit blogs before it is time to take Thing to school.