Over at the other Blog

I posted today over at Ainsley Park discussing history versus perceived history. How stringent does a writer need to be? Can a writer be too focused on the details and not enough on the story?

Lightning Strikes

I think, as a writer, we live for the moments when inspiration hits us like a bolt of lightening. We rejoice when a new world bursts forth from our brains, lighting the fire of creativity. Our struggles are rewarded by this sudden explosion and we are euphoric. This happened to me the other day. A story popped into my head. The characters, the settings, the beginning, middle and end all laid themselves out in the proper order, begging me to start writing. Isn't marvelous when that happens?

However, there are downsides. Lightning strikes have their adverse affects. For me, it means forgetting the other books I'm working on. WIP's that deserve my attention are ignored for the shiny shiny of the my new lightning strike. Another problem is that the energy I fell at the beginning of this new work of brilliance fizzles out. Once the first jolt of electricity drains out, it is hard to replace. While I'm not a plotter, I am a muller. Most of my stories are mulled in my head for awhile before I start writing. Or they start out with a scene and no particular place to go, which makes the writing process fresh for me. But believe it or not, it is hard for me if everything is in place before I start writing, particularly if it is so solid. I lose interest quickly. The saving grace is that this is a new setting for me and a new subgenre. Hopefully it will keep me on my toes and excited.

How do you feel about lightning strikes? And how come I have the darndest time spelling "lightning?"

ALSO Melissa has written a wonderful review over at Ainsley Park for a new historical romance so please check it out. I also did a new background for the blog and it is awfully nice.

Market Meltdown

I quit writing this weekend. I swore I would never write another word. I'd convinced myself that no one was going to be interested in my books. My stories are all flawed. My hero in my historical isn't alpha enough. The heroine in my urban fantasy doesn't wear leather and carries a PhD rather than a gun. And my other WIP...well, I hadn't started picking it apart yet.

While most of this is internal, I can see the influence of the publishing news in my thought process. After hearing the news out of the RWA conference and the gloomy reports about the economy, it is easy to see why it would prey on my mind. I look at the books being released and realize my stories are nothing like them. What editor is going to look twice at them?

By Sunday I was over it. There are two things to keep in mind and I had forgotten. I joined RWA in 2001 I guess and the news was the same then as it is now. Book sales are down. Publishers aren't buying, etc. etc. But books are still being sold, new authors are still debuting. Yes, it is hard road to navigate. Yes, it is very difficult to get published. Which leads to my other thought. So? If the only reason I write is to publish, I am in for a world of disappointment. If I decide to write a book featuring a heroine dressed in leather who slays demons/vampires/people who text while driving, by the time I get it submitted, the agents and editors are going to pass because they have enough of those already. It does no good to follow the market trends. Write what you love, write what you want to read. I may never sell, not something I like to ponder, but I'm realistic enough to know that could be the case, particularly on the path I'm on. But I enjoy writing. I enjoy the stories I create. I like my characters. If you can make your love of your own writing apparent in your manuscript, you will get attention.

Don't Blame it on the Muse

One of my least favorite writing excuses is blaming the muse for not cooperating. As if some mythical figure has influence over your writing. I know, it is the personification of the writer within you, but it also a way of avoiding responsibility.
"I can't write today because my muse is silent." But is it really true? I haven't been writing much this summer. I'd like to blame it on some nebulous internal muse, but the flat truth is that I'm lazy. Writing takes effort and I'm tired. It's hot, I'm cranky and I'd rather play Bejeweled than focus on any of my WIPS.

And the muse isn't the only one getting the blame. Lack of time, family commitments, jobs, all of these become excuses for our inability to get words on the page. But really we need to look in ourselves to find the answer. Sometimes we just don't feel like writing. That's okay. Unless you've got a contract, you don't have to kill yourself to meet a deadline. You can slack. But don't blame a muse. If day after day you feel like this, still, don't blame the muse. Take your WIP out and see if it something in the actual story which is pushing you away. Maybe you are out of the habit of writing. Like exercise and dieting, writing takes focus and work. The rewards are slow in coming.

For me, I've just had to put my butt in the chair and write. Sometimes I can only do it for 10 minutes or so. Some days those words flow easily, some days, not so much. On Tuesday I managed to get 600 words written for the entire day. Yesterday, I got 450 written in less than an hour. Accept the fact that your creativity needs to be forced and do what you can.

You are in control. You are the creator, not some mythical entity in your head. If you wait for the muse, you will be surrendering the fact you are the one in charge. You may have to change the way you approach your writing, look for new tools to get you on your way, but ultimately you will be more productive.

We Can Put a Man on Moon

Forty years ago a momentous event happened. Mankind walked on the moon. It was an amazing event I find hard to comprehend. I don't remember the event, I was only two. I don't think I appreciate it as much as I should. In a world of wonders, its hard to keep sight at how truly a wonderful occurrence it was.

In a world where companies like Industrial Light and Magic make it all look so real on the screen, the moon landing seems so unglamorous, so simple in comparison. But I think it was the key to unlocking our imaginations about space. It has ingrained itself in our consciousness, an assumption that we can do anything. It's good that we can think that way, but I fear the younger generations won't appreciate the supreme accomplishment of the Apollo 11. Eventually we are going to land on Mars. How incredible will it seem to a generation who has been to Tatooine? How incredible will it be to kids who have traveled at light speed?

I think it is important to make our children understand how important the moon landing was in the big picture. The thought that we could actually leave earth and land on someplace else should seem much bigger than going to the grocery store. We are jaded by the bad things we see. Why should we be spending money on space when there are so many terrestrial issues which need our attention? How can we be worried about worlds beyond ours when we have so much to worry about on our own? Valid questions. We are explorers, we quest for new knowledge. We seek new places and look for new answers. It feeds our imagination. It empowers us. And if we can put a man on the moon, we can, eventually, do anything.

Another Blog

Today I posted on another blog I have but had forgotten. I'm working on a historical romance and this blog is dedicated to historical fiction and romance.

Even if you are not into historicals, go check out Ainsley Park for the totally sweet background I found for it.

Wouldn't it Be Nice?

Sorry for the long absence. I wish I could say this was a snapshot from my vacation, but alas, it is only a photo pilfered from the Internet.

We will not be going away this summer. Lots of factors are in play, most prominently is money. And those of you who are contemplating a third child, remember that five people require two hotel rooms. My husband is self-employed so there is no vacation pay and since he's not there working, no money is being generated. Kind of sucks, really. Anyway I'm not here to whine. Oh wait, yes I am, thus the title of my blog.

I am a little discombobulated these days. I think it relates to the fact I won't be taking vacation. And while my husband would argue that everyday is a vacation for me since I'm a stay-at-home mom, I could use some time away from the homestead. But it isn't going to happen anytime soon, so I need to deal with it.

Writing usually works. Heck, I take my writing with me on vacation, it can really relax me. But not the last week or so. I've been agitated and unable to focus. If it weren't for twitter, I probably wouldn't get any writing done at all. Funny, my attention span lasts about 140 characters. However, I have been turning the restless energy into use and cleaned up the house. I dusted and mopped the girls' room and their toy room, threatening them with slow painful death if they mess it up.

Something else that's got me down is that my dryer died on me. It has created a hole in my heart. Laundry is the one constant in my life. I do have a stackable set upstairs, so I'm not totally without a dryer, but it is small and only does about half a load. Hubby and I have been doing serious shopping. We've decided to replace both the washer and dryer. I've done more research on appliances than I've done for pretty much anything. We actually settled on a set of Electrolux, but it is going to take two weeks to get them in. Yikes. The Best Buy manager practically tackled us as we were leaving offering to give us a deal on another brand if we wanted. Thus, been back at the Internet reading reviews. Talk about a life decision!

All in all, however, these have served as convenient excuses for not writing. There is no reason I shouldn't be spending time on word count. Even now, writing this, I'm thinking about how I should sweep the kitchen floor. Grrr...not sure why this is becoming a problem. Its not writer's block, I can easily keep writing. Maybe I need to bungie cord myself to my chair.

Any ideas?

Let Freedom Ring!

I'm not a particularly political person. I have my political beliefs that I hold somewhat dear. My allegiance to the Los Angeles Dodgers is stronger than any loyalty I feel to a political party. I'm also not a cheerleader for my country. My degree is in U.S. History so I'm more than aware of the atrocities committed by this country. But I'm also aware of our great triumphs and the perseverance of our citizens.

I'm reading 1776 by David McCullough right now, apropos considering the time of year. It is truly a marvel to read about how ill-prepared and the disadvantage this country had in its fight for freedom from Great Britain. England at the time was probably the most powerful nation on earth with a massive navy and an army of well-trained troop. George Washington, on the other hand, had generals who received their military training from books they read in their spare time from their other professions. He had an army of men who had never had a day of training in their life. They had only their passion and their belief in what the country should be. They sacrificed more than their lives. They sacrificed their livelihoods, their families and the security of being part of a powerful nation.

If you read the text of the Declaration of Independence, you can see how it encourages rebellion when the government is not doing as it should. As Americans, we are expected to complain about our government when we see an injustice. We are expected to take to the streets and show our displeasure, it is encouraged. To maintain liberty, we must be vigilant and outspoken. It is our responsibilities as citizens to protect the freedom and rights of all individuals, whether we agree with them or not.

I suppose this concept has hit home hard with the Iranian election. Reading about the horrors perpetrated against people for exercising their opinions is mind blowing. In American, bitching about the government is a national sport. It doesn't matter who is in office, there is going to be pages of written word published complaining about them. And if you've ever been to D.C., you can see a protest everyday. We can do this with impunity. You can go out and rally a crowd, screaming to the hills about how vile your government is, how they are responsible for everything bad in the world and not worry about being tried for it. It has been tried, the Alien and Sedition Acts of 1798 tried to silence protests of the government. It only lasted a couple of years and is considered a black mark on our history. As you can imagine, it was wildly unpopular and it led to a change in government at the next election.

Aung San Suu Kyi also brings to mind the freedoms we take for granted in this country. The Burmese politician has sacrificed so much for her country. When she was elected prime minister, instead of taking her rightful position, the military junta nullified the results and arrested her. Can you imagine if we did that in this country? While the circumstances of her situation is horrifying, her sacrifice is what hits home with me. She has been separated from her family for years. Her husband died and she was unable to see him. She could leave Burma, the government would be thrilled to see her go. But if she left, she could never return. Her love of her people and her dedication to democracy in Burma overrides everything else. Would you be able to do that? Fortunately, you don't have to because it was done 223 years ago by the original citizens of this country already did. By declaring independence, they were risking their lives and their livelihoods. They lost family and the security of being part of an empire.

I hope you enjoy today. Enjoy the fireworks, the hot dogs, the parades. But keep in mind how hard fought our freedom was and how so many others in the world are still fighting.

Larger Than Life

First, let me say HAPPY CANADA DAY to my friends up north. Hope its a good one and full of fun and food and frolic and fireworks.

My 9 year old is obsessed with the Titanic. She has read about it and made it the focus of school projects. She's been fascinated with the wreck for a long time. I don't know why it intrigues her so, but she is captivated. I don't think she can wrap her mind around it, it is larger than life for her.

Unless you've been living in the outer reaches of the universe for the last week or so, you couldn't happen to miss the recent deaths of certain celebrities. I have no desire to rehash their lives, accomplishments, etc. but to make a point. Some people simply see them as famous people who died. But they were more than that, they were larger than life icons. In the late '70's, I don't think there was a girl who didn't try to get their hair to feather just like Farrah's. And in the early '80's, I didn't know a person who didn't own "Thriller." These two people wormed their way into our culture, becoming something more than human. They were never truly mortal to me, obviously they were, but the persona's they created went far beyond what I had in normal life. Its funny, we read about celebrities who try and convince us how "normal" they are. Do we really want that?

For most of us, life has a routine. We get up, go to work, participate in a few activities, watch t.v. and go to bed. No, it isn't exciting, but ultimately, it makes us happy. But we love the exposure to those beings who are larger than life. It takes us away from our daily routines and lets us experience life on another plane while never leaving the safety of our own.

As writers, we have it even better. We don't have to wait for TMZ to bring us news. We don't have to watch the news to find something scandalous or extraordinary to spark our interest. We can create it. No matter what genre you write in, the point it to create a story most people will never experience. Our characters are plunged into danger, into heartbreak, into inescapable situations which require us to pull them out in the most fascinating way possible. The reader joins us on a larger than life adventure which gives them another view of life they don't ordinarily see. It doesn't have to be a tense spy adventure or an epic romance. It doesn't have to be a story populated by monsters and magic, knights and ladies, it can be an ordinary world with ordinary people with an extraordinary situation. As long as it evokes emotions which we don't get to experience everyday and takes us out of our humdrum routine.

As a reader, what does a story need to make it larger than life? As a writer, what part of your current project is larger than life?

I Need A Man!

Sorry, I was listening to the Eurythmics yesterday and "I Need a Man" came on. I really love the aggressive feel of that song. It came out in 1988, a time of glitz and gloss for both genders and the song feels like a rejection of that over-stylized male and a need for something rougher and tougher. Anyway, it got me thinking about heroes, particularly alpha heroes.

I've never been a big alpha hero writer. My heroes tend to be smart, cooperative, looking for the best solution to the problem. They aren't automatically ruthless. The ask first before shooting. They worked well for me, but lately, I yearn for something else.

I want to write someone who solves problems with the least amount of trouble. Meaning, he doesn't negotiate. He talks in sharp one liners, can fell a tree with a flash of his cold, steely glare. His sense of justice is iron clad: you are either a good guy or a bad guy in his view, there is nothing in between. He may frighten you at first, but in the end he makes you feel safe.

To me, Dirty Harry epitomized the alpha hero. In truth, if we had to live with this guy...well, we wouldn't. Handsome, chilling, determined, he brought a sense of order to a world in chaos. And that's why I think my interest in such a tough guy has emerged.

Dirty Harry came on the scene during a tumultuous time. We were still in the midst of a war. Culture was changing. Society was going through rapid changes. People felt unsure. We are going through similar changes now. Our economy is in tatters. I know people who only two years ago were going on lavish vacations and buying expensive cars that are now struggling to keep their houses. I see shops and business disappearing, hear stories about friends losing their jobs. The situation abroad is no better. The Middle East is still explosive. Europe is suffering its own economic woes. And hell, to top things off, Jon and Kate are getting divorced. Could it get any more turbulent?

An alpha hero cuts through the uncertainty, provides a solid answer and stable pillar to cling to. He radiates confidence and security, a beacon in the ocean of the unknown we feel cast adrift in. No, he isn't reality. That would be a bad thing. But in fiction, particularly genre fiction, we want that escape. We want to see a microcosm of our own world, see situations which seem impossible resolved in the most expedient way possible. We want to feel safe, feel rescued.

Hence my alphanazation of my heroes. They're still smart. They dress well. They're handsome. But they are more willing to shoot first and ask questions later. They are less interested in hearing the heroine's side of the story and more interested in seeing her safe. Its going to add some additional conflict because my heroines tend to be a little overbearing, but I think the result could be interesting.

Have you found your heroes becoming a bit more alpha these days?

Bombarded

Story ideas are exploding in my head like fireworks. Brilliant, loud and spectacular, they light up the night sky of my mind with flashes of breathtaking color and flare, and they fade just as fast. They fizzle out, frail pieces of ash that are lost amongst the other debris in my head.
I don't see it as my muse has gone wild. I see it as a lack of effort on my part. Rather than focusing on something tangible, I let my mind wander, attracted by the shiny things like a two year old in a candy store. Words are my playthings of choice, my Legos as it were, but I'm not using them to build anything constructive. I'm spewing little bits of scenes with no purpose.

No, there really isn't anything wrong with letting lose, but it feeds itself, taking me further and further from my goal. My mind buzzes with little flashes of brilliance, but that is all they are. I've done this before and it leads to a path of procrastination and a creative null. I'm too experienced to let this get a grip on me. The solution is simple. Finish the book I'm halfway through. It would seem to be an easy fix, but it is hard to focus. I'm not in a flashy, shiny section of the book. I will be soon, but it lacks luster right now. Or at least it does for me. I think we all get that way when we are writing a book and it is so easy to get distracted. I'm going to put blinders on and ignore the 4th of July display in my head, at least for awhile.

Do you get distracted mentally by other story ideas? Are they bona fide or just sparklers?

Location, Location, Location

When I start contemplating a book, the first thing that comes to mind is the setting. The location is as much of a character as the hero or heroine. Or perhaps I should say it is an extension of the characters. The yin to their yangs as it were.

My contemporaries are usually set in L.A., mainly because I live here and don't have the research issues. But also because I love the concept of gloss of Southern California and revealing a dark underbelly hidden from everyone's eyes. Okay, so the dark underbelly I'm revealing is imaginary, but I like the juxtaposition of a bright, sunny world unaware of an ominous shadow below the surface, waiting to erupt and tear the hell out of everything.

I also like putting a character into a setting they are familiar with, a place well within their comfort zone and twisting it, throwing the character off balance and watching what they do when confronted with the bizarre. I find very few of us are truly adventurous. We like our homes, we like the comfort of knowing our surroundings. How disturbing is it when they've got a street closed and we have to take an unfamiliar detour to get home? Or you realize your favorite checker at the grocery store has left? Heck, I get antsy if I have to park in an area of the parking lot I've never parked in before. While all of these are small and hardly worthy of Prozac, I like to blow them up. Maybe the heroine finds out her favorite checker is really a demon from Hell bent on sucking out the souls of all the baggers and she is the only one who can stop her. Or the road home has been blocked by the arrival of a 300 foot fire breathing banana slug. I like to take the expected and shred it.

In historicals I love to take a beautiful, pastoral landscape and fill it with beautiful people then throw in something so evil it reveals the rottenness underneath. It puts my characters in a tailspin and unravels all they ever believed in. The exterior remains gorgeous and pristine but underneath the elegance is dark world where the lovely people are truly ugly.

Do you use settings and locations in a similar manner or are they a more of a backdrop for your story?

Marble Palaces

There is more pleasure to building castles in the air than on the ground.
~~~~~Edward Gibbon

When I was a kid I loved my Barbies. For hours I'd play in my room with them, enacting dramas of my own creation, building imaginary marble palaces for them out of plastic desks and shoe box furniture. Scraps of fabric from my mom's sewing collection became sweeping gowns of the most precious silks and velvets, perfect for those ballroom scenes. As I got older, the worlds became more elaborate, the plots more involved. I had good Barbies and bad Barbies and only one Ken. Yeah, things got complicated, making "Dynasty" look like a "Dora the Explorer" cartoon. I didn't realize at the time I was sowing the seeds of a writer. Those hours of solitude with just my dolls for company were molding my brain for writing.

My purpose is to entertain myself first and other people secondly.
~~~~John D. MacDonald

My first ventures into writing were little short stories I wrote about the places I saw on road trips. I didn't intend to share them but occassionally I would read them to my folks. They thought they were funny and I recall them encouraging me to write more. I moved on to stories heavily influenced by what I was reading. Those I didn't share at all. But they entertained me, just like my Barbies had years earlier.

The only reason for being a professional writer is that you just can't help it.
~~~~Leo Rosten

In college I finally got the urge to write as a profession. To be honest, I couldn't have picked a worse time to make such a decision. I took a creative writing class my freshman year. While my classmates were writing angsty stories about alienation and the darkness of their childhoods, I was writing about dating, about being jealous of a roommate, about a man whose office chair explodes and sends him hurtling out the window. I felt self-conscious about my writing and denigrated my own choice of words. My teacher thought my writing had merit, but as a student, I felt the lack of importance of my work. I should have been writing mighty protest novels or feminist essays. I should have been trying to change the world through words. Sigh...we do tend to get bloated with hot air as college students.

There are many reasons why novelists write – but they all have one thing in common: a need to create an alternative world.
~~~John Fowles

I didn't start writing again seriously until I was 32 and my second child had been born. I wish I could say why it happened. I picked up a WIP I'd started ten years previously and devoted myself to it. It wasn't good but it was a marvelous teacher. But I finished it, edited it and started submitting. I didn't have any success, but it drove me to keep writing. Those years were the golden years. I loved writing, loved the worlds I created. And I kept submitting, with a bit more success on my one manuscript.

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
~~~~Cyril Connolly

I landed an agent. She shopped my book. It didn't sell. I didn't quit writing, but my focus had changed. I worried about marketablility, I tied myself up in knots wondering what exactly it was that editors wanted. I quit writing for myself and tried to think on another level, a level that doesn't exist. Everything I wrote pretty much sucked. I'm a good writer, I have good pacing, great dialog, etc., so nothing I produced was bad per se, but it lacked the soul and the heart which makes a book great. It was obvious I writing without passion.

Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing.
~~~~Melinda Haynes

It's summer and I watch my kids play. They don't have Barbies right now since they got cleaned up and put in storage. But the six year old can pick up a stick and immediately be in outer space fighting some monster or the nine year old can put on an old tie and carry a big tote bag and pretend to be a trial lawyer. Their minds are ripe with images only they can see, worlds they have created with only their imaginations. They remind me of those years I spent with my own toys, creating worlds out of almost nothing. And they remind me why I am a writer and how I too can create marble palaces out of thing air.

Reader Fatigue

Do you ever get reader fatigue? I've been reading a lot lately, nothing new there, but I've really poured it on since I got the Kindle. Now I usually have one paperback and one digital book going at all times. Problem is I've been a one-trick pony when it comes to genre.

I read urban fantasy and if you are familiar with the genre, you know it isn't always the most uplifting and the steady amount of action can be exhausting. I can feel myself burning out and I need to give it a rest. But I don't want to stop reading. So here's your chance.

Give me some book recommendations. Fiction, non-fiction, no matter what the genre, give me the title of a book you have read recently that you liked and want to share. Triple points if its available on Kindle.

Its going to be a long summer and I plan on spending much of it with a book in hand.

"The color of the sky as far as i can see is coal grey"

I was a big 10,000 Maniacs fan back in the day and "Like the Weather" was big favorite. It always plays through my head on unseasonably gray days.

It is the middle of June in Southern California and our views of the sun have been limited. All of the great events which hail the coming of summer have occurred under dreary skies and damp conditions. Its taken the luster from the days, sapping the sparkle from a time which should be exciting and filled with anticipation.

One of my small pleasures is the drive to pick up my kids from school. I pass down a street with old Craftsman houses. Large trees line each side of street and stretch out to form a canopy for cars to drive under. The leaves are vivid, so green and glossy they don't seem real. But without sun, they are pallid, the branches sinister rather than joyous.

We love color here in the Southland. We've the good fortune of mild temperatures so we can grow so many things. But they are dependent on the sun. Oh, the flowers get enough to grow, but their colors are faded. The pinks and yellows have no depth, the violets and reds are cold and passionless.

Obviously it affects my mood. I'm not the only one. I was discussing it with others today. We are discombobulated. We are tired and listless. We suffer from a malaise which has no set symptoms or diagnosis. It isn't that we hate cold weather, trust me, by August I will be whining in the entirely opposite direction. We expect bad weather in the winter and enjoy wearing our winter coats and sweaters, sipping mugs of hot chocolate. But those times have passed and now it is time to be outside amongst the greenery.

We've always had something called "June Gloom" which brought in a severe marine layer to the area in the morning but burned off by noon. We don't like it, but we accept it because we know our afternoons will be sunny. This is something different. We've had it before and to be honest, I predicted we would have it again this year because of how cold our winter was.

I am going some place with this besides incessant complaining. As I get older I've noticed my moods are affected more and more by the weather. I don't know why. And when my moods are involved, my writing is thrown into upheaval. I'm motivated, but my thoughts are cloudy. It's like my mind has gone gray like the weather. Ironically, the WIP I'm working on takes place in the middle of December and the skies are gray and cloudy with constant storms. But I can't get myself into it. Over the last couple of days, I've had time to write and I can't get myself going. Blogging has been difficult because I can't seem to form sentences. Maybe just spewing my weather-themed diatribe will be enough to shake me lose. Or hopefully the sun will come out and I can feel normal again.

Does the weather affect your writing? Has it always or do you find the weather having more of an impact as you get older?

Winding Down

Sorry, it looked as though I had disappeared from the face of the earth. But the end of school seems to kick everything into overdrive. I don't remember the end of the school year being like this when I was a kid. It's like Christmas around here. We have a constant stream of events at the school which all require participation. Last week I attended two end of the year plays and a school fair. I baked and cooked for two major functions. I attended one team party. Started organizing another. On top of this are the other activities beyond. Baseball has been all consuming this year and it came to an end on Saturday.

My daughter's team played a 3 1/2 hour game. It went to 8 innings. In normal game play, the drop dead time is 2 hours, no matter what the score, but because this was tournament, it could not end in a tie. So we played until the tie was broken. It was exhausting, particularly for the kids. Anyway, it was a disappointing loss, but part of me can't help being relieved. Now I'm working on the team party which is a whole other job.

I wonder why I do this and how I got into this position. I certainly didn't plan it. My life's blueprint did not involve this level of immersion into kid activities. And now I find it is pretty much what I do, it is the center of my life. Of course writing has taken a backseat, I haven't written anything in at least a week, probably longer. Do my children appreciate it? Of course not, kids aren't wired that way. They believe they deserve it. Do I enjoy it? Yeah, I suppose. My nature is to be reclusive and anti-social, but being involved forces me to interact with others.

There are times I'd really like to chuck it. I'd like to spend my time writing and not get involved. But I'm also aware of how difficult it is to get published, how easy it is to get sucked into the emotional roller coaster of rejection and triumph which is a writing career. It can become too important. In thirty years' time, no one is going to remember my writing. But I do think my kids will look back in thirty years and remember how much it meant to them to have me there.

Of course, if they end up being a bunch of axe murderers, I'm going to be all kinds of ticked.

Maybe its Spring

I started out a romance writer. Its all I ever wanted to be, a spinner of tales featuring heroes and heroines who were larger than life. I wanted to plunge myself into the conflicts between a man and a woman which make a reader cry or sigh, all with the aim of a happily ever after.

But along the way I changed. My stories changed, my characters seemed more interested in blasting away bad guys than escaping to a romantic castle. I still have romantic threads in my books, but they are complimentary and not the main focus of the plot. It wasn't a decisive break from my roots, its just what has come out of my keyboard.

But oh, how I miss it. I miss those sweeping stories which knock a gal off her feet. I miss writing about those men who are twisted into knots over the love of a woman. My fingers long to pound out a story focused on the unique conflicts of a love story. I'm not sure why now. I'm happy with the book I'm writing but there is no romance. There's tension and the hint of a future love story, but that's it.

Maybe its Spring. Birds and bees fill the air. Flowers bloom, the promise of life is everywhere. And of course I can't go anywere without seeing a poster for some bridal fair. Or maybe I'm like so many other readers who are searching for an escape from the world as it is. A romance is a good place to go. Even for writers.

Whether I will fall into the temptation and write one I don't know. I'm halfway through my current WIP and owe my allegiance to getting it done and submitted.

How about you? Any urges to try something different? If so, why? Do the seasons influence you? Or is it something else in your environment?

A Movie Just For Me

Some film makers really know how to get to me. They seem to be able to craft a film which stabs straight to my heart, gives me hope and courage, wrangles a tear from my eyes. Whoever made the following movie seems to have looked into my heart and created this film just for me.

Can you believe this went straight to DVD?

Mega shark, a giant octopus, Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah (don't you dare call her Debbie)Gibson? What more could I ask for?

Is there a movie so outlandish or so bad, it has wormed its way into your heart?

39...Again

Today is my birthday and once again I am thirty-nine. I plan on being thirty-nine until it is time to turn forty-nine. So my math skills are lacking, I'm a writer, not an accountant.

Anyway, I've been on the fence about what I wanted for my birthday for awhile. I was leaning towards a netbook. I love the concept of having a mini-laptop for writing. But I don't really need one. I have an AlphaSmart I hardly ever use. It is a pain in the butt to use since they do not have software which works with Vista. But it isn't impossible to use. Takes a little extra planning is all. I need to get into the habit of using it.

The other thing I was looking at was the Kindle 2. I hadn't really considered it seriously because I like paper books. I like the feel, I like the smell, I just like them plus I have problems reading from a computer screen. However, I loved the size of the Kindle 2. Much easier to carry than even a paperback. Also, because I'm thirty-nine, I have problems reading text because of its size unless I have help. Doesn't help me when I'm exercising. Plus, the thickness of books makes them tough to read on the eliptical machine. The Kindle 2 is thin enough to fit on the machine and I can adjust the text size. While I don't expect it to replace my bound books, I imagine I will have an increase in book purchases. The books are cheaper digitally and I like the option of being able to buy and receive quickly. Another advantage is I can eat a Popsicle and read at the same time.

I'm not doing much for my birthday. Hubby and I are going out to lunch since we have a baseball game tonight and I've got things going the rest of the weekend. Ooh, he just called me and said we were going to Costco after we ate to get some motor oil. Hey, he took me to Wal Mart on Mother's Day, the man certainly knows how to show a girl a good time.

Do any of you have a Kindle 2 or any other kind of ereader? Do you have plans to get one or is it something you don't see yourself using?

Wipe Out

I did a little wipe out on my computer this weekend. I took a bunch of games off my computer. I'm a big patsy for city building games and I can easily waste an entire morning playing them. I came to the decision that they had to go. Sniff....

I like them for the same reason I like to write. They transport me into a world far from my own and where I have ultimate control. The cities I create are my own worlds where things pretty much go as I plan. But it only takes a little brain power and they are a monumental waste of time. They aren't gone forever, I have the cd's. But if they aren't an easy option, I'm a lot less likely to indulge in them.

I have a sad lack of control with these games. I used to be the same way with reading and I only lose control with books for stories. And once the book's over, I can move on. Games aren't so easy to end. They are endless, they are meant to be such. Pointless as well. I allow myself to be lured into the mind-numbing place these games take me and I can feel the triggers. Summer is around the corner. The kids' activities are going through their final extreme wind up before collapsing into nothingness. There are lots of family gatherings this time of year. It all becomes too much and I follow the path of least resistance.

But that is not the person I want to be. Hiding from the real world in a cyber one is nonproductive. I've looked back at the lost day and wanted to kick myself. Those precious hours are gone, never to be retrieved. And all I have to show for it is a city peaking at a population of 1 million with a thriving high density residential area complimented by wealthy commercial center. Great if it was real life and I was Donald Trump, bad if its on the computer screen and I'm a frustrated writer stuck in the suburbs.

Oh, I'll play them again, maybe when my latest WIP is done or I've gotten a couple major household projects done. I enjoy them, they are fun. Like everything else, moderation is key. But right now, they suck the time away and that is something I can't afford.

Is there some activity you have to avoid because it drains your time?