False Starts & Expectations

Apologies, I tried to get my blog back up and a nasty piece of code made things difficult. My html skills are rusty so I had to send my blog to the creator of the code to fix it. But now things seem to be working. We shall see.



From looking at my blogs it seems like many people have been taking breaks from the blogosphere. For me its about expectations. I set them impossibly high for myself. Not in all things. I don't usually care about my appearance, those that see me on a daily basis can attest to that. I like a clean house but I'm not paranoid about it.



But other things....shudder...my expectations are sky high. Blogging is one of them. Hell, writing in general is the big one. If a blog post is less than stellar, meaning its not interesting or I'm not expressing myself well, I get bent. That wasn't the reason I started my blog, it was more of a place to spout my soapbox opinions to an audience of one. I'm far more eloquent when I write. When I speak I'm more of a cross between a California surfer and a truck driver.

Then I got readers and I felt obligated to make my posts more than what I intended. And that's not a bad thing. It's progression for me as a writer and the push made me a better writer. Plus it was fun. Eventually I burned out. I think most bloggers do eventually and I applaud those who are able to push through without giving up.

I feel like I'm starting from the beginning. Which is good, my opinions and perspectives have changed over the last five years and perhaps this break will produce something worth reading.

Today of All Days....

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't updated this blog in....oh, almost a year.

I wish I could say it was because of the glam busy life I've been experiencing or that I've written that bestselling novel or that I won the Lotto and took a trip around the world.

Nope.

The only really exciting thing I can say is that I got a new cell phone. A Droid. I have formally adopted it and changed my will to give it sole inheritance rights.

So why in the world would I just drop off the face of the earth? Because after so many years of maintaining this blog I ran out of stuff to say. I had nothing of value to add to the blogging world. I stopped writing and I really didn't want this to become a place where I bitched about the crappy things going on in my world. I've always tried to keep the tone of this blog upbeat and when every post I started was negative...well, I knew it was time to give it a rest.

I missed it and I missed all of you, but honestly, I needed a break. A total break. I toyed with the idea of deleting this blog altogether, but believe or not a couple of posts still get hits regularly. That and I knew I would regret it. My impulses have led me into regrettable situations so I try to thing long and hard before I make a move.

I'm still not writing and it makes me sad, but I'm hoping this desire to return to my blog will re- spark my need to write. I think it will.

Maybe this was the wrong week to restart my blog considering its Thanksgiving and my to do list is a mile long. But it is also the time of the year I seemed most mentally engaged.

Anyway, can't think of a good ending here, just glad to be able to put thoughts into words.