I had so many great comments about the "Untapped" post, I wanted to say a couple of things. First, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Writing can be such a solitary occupation, you can't just crane your neck over the cubicle wall and ask a question and double check if you are right.
Second, Suzanne said to study the masters. Funny, I just finished reading Jill's WHITE HEAT and was impressed how she always brought it back to the emotional response of her characters. Whatever action these people did or situation they went through, she always brought it back to how the hero or heroine felt. Also, about a year or so ago (I'm not exactly sure) I took an online class from the LRWA about writing SIMs. All of the instructors were wonderful (including Suzanne) and they hammered over and over, how important the relationship was between the hero and heroine, despite the level of danger, it always has to be made personal.
Anyway, thanks guys for the input, certainly helps me clear up my thinking.