Drooling with Envy

I've been getting Romantic Times off and on for more years than I care to admit. I usually get it for a year or two and forget to read them. I end up with a stack still encased in plastic then I quit getting it.

I recently got another subscription, justifying it as a "marketing tool" to see what the trends were, etc., etc. I did see where there were enough authors attending the convention I could easily become psycho stalker lady. But that's another post entirely.

I didn't really read the reviews. Truth be told, I don't really trust their reviews too much, no one seems to get a bad review. But that's okay, I like to see the synopsis and what's coming up.

But looking through those glossy pages at the little author bios and the advertisements for the books, I could feel myself drooling. I forget sometimes how badly I want to see my name on the cover of a book. Oh, I like to spout about how much its about the writing, how I love to write and am compelled to put words to screen. But like any starlet staring at the silver screen, I envision myself in those pages with my name scrawled across a book. I dream of giving some nonsensical interview where I spout bon mots about my creative process. And none of that has anything to do with the writing. Its the Hollywood red carpet stuff. I don't suppose I'm alone in the envy.

I usually don't talk much about my desires for publication because I try to downplay them myself. I try not let my dreams interfere with my reality. I try to live in the phase that I'm in and not look beyond. Right now, my agent is pitching and submitting my book to editors. That's as far as I can look. Hopefully soon I can look beyond this step. But for now, I will continue to look at my RT with the starry-eyed vision of a teenager reading "Tiger Beat."