I'm All About Commitment

...and not always in a good way.

I'm not a committed person. My brain is too scattered to do justice to my obligations. Plus, commitment takes effort. Anyone who is in a relationship or has kids understands that. But its those other obligations we put ourselves under. We writers are always committing ourselves to some writing goal. Moms habitually obligate themselves to some school or sport function for their kids. We make promises at work, pushing ourselves beyond what is required.

And then there are those commitments we make to ourselves which only benefit us. I think those are the hardest to make and maintain. I made the commitment to Weight Watchers. At first it was easy, my enthusiasm carried me through for the first few weeks. But I can feel myself falter. I'm not nearly as motivated as I was before. The fact that I have to pay $40 every month helps keep me somewhat committed. So now I'm committing myself to going to the gym and working out. Not something I adore, but I know if I can get myself committed to that activity, it will strengthen my commitment to weight loss.

My goal is turn those commitments into a part of my life. I want them to be so ingrained that I don't have to work on them anymore. Does that make sense? Why are good things such hard work?

And for something fun, I started a new blog. It's called Costco Junkie and celebrates my slavish devotion to the retail monster.

Cleaning the Closet

Its official, there is nothing to motivate me to exercise and lose weight.

I cleaned out my closet (again) and discovered how many cute clothes I have but can't wear because I've gained to much weight. You think that would motivate me to get out there and lose weight. It doesn't.

My gym is less than a mile from my house. Babysitting is included in my exorbitant monthly fee. They have great facilities and I always see someone I know and like. I should be motivated to go, but I'm not.

Kelly talks about training for some running races she wants to participate in. She is eager to push herself physically and is looking forward to the challenge. I am green with envy. I wish I enjoyed physical activity.

To be honest, I'd rather sit on my butt. The only walking I really want to do is shopping. Not only do I not care for exercise, I love to eat. I am definitely one of those people who lives to eat. And I particularly enjoy things that are bad for me.

My family history is loaded with heart disease. My mother has been on high blood pressure medication forever and my dad has had a stroke. My blood pressure is very good but my cholesterol is very bad. Yet I'm still not motivated.

I'm heading to the gym today and I'm going be watching every bite I eat. Please pass the veggies *shudder*. This is so much harder than writing.

So what do you do to motivate yourself for diet and exercise? Any tips?

The Bell Tolls for Thee

I stand in a cemetary, tendrils of mist twist around the ancient headstones in a malignant dance. The ground beneath me is soft and inconsequential. as if at any moment it will give way and plunge me into a pit of despair. A figure stands before me, lost in the dark folds of its robe, still as death. One hand clutches a massive scythe, the other points a skeletal finger at the headstones. I look away, my fear overwhelming. I do not wish to see what it points at, but I know I have no choice. My eyes slowly scan the ancient stones which tilt off-center in crooked rows. I read them and shudder. Ben & Jerry's. Haagen-Dazs. Cheese. Christmas Cookies. Chocolate Truffles. Laying on the Couch and Watching SpongeBob Squarepants. It is too painful I must look away. The figure doesn't move for a moment but soon the scythe disappears and it pulls open its robe. Two demons take shelter in the dark, impenetrable folds. They look up at me and laugh, the sound sending chills down my back. One has the word "Diet" scrawled across its forehead, the other is named "Exercise." I fear them, despise them, but I know they are my future.

Yeah it's January 2nd.

Not my favorite time of the year as you can tell. For at least two months I've lived in sloth and gluttony, enjoying the treats of the season, embracing the activities required because they kept me out of the gym. But no more. Now I must face my demons and get on with it.

So I've been combing the Internet for aids in the cause of diet and exercise and I thought I'd share them. First, there is the National Body Challenge at Discovery Health. It is an 8 week interactive program which helps you track diet and exercise while providing support with professionals and fellow participants. WebMD has something similar.

I like Meals Matter. This site has lots of good recipes and goes beyond merely weight loss. It targets nutrition and health as well. Low Fat Recipes is pretty explanatory. Fitness Magazine's online site has some workouts as well. For broad spectrum, iVillage has a whole workout section. The WeightWatchers site has a bunch of articles geared for beginning exercisers that you can view without being a member.

Something else I've heard is that the drug orlistat (brand name Xenical) will be sold over the counter this year. This drug works with your digestive system to cut down the absorbtion of fat, allowing it to pass through without sticking. This drug is geared towards people with a serious weight problem or who are overeweight but they have high risk factors. It isn't a magic pill but works in conjunction with diet and exercise to help increase weight loss.

Anyway, hope these links help you. And hopefully most of you have a far better attitude than I do about weightloss. I'm going to hang out in the graveyard and eat some high fiber cereal while the demons laugh.