Peer Pressure

My seventh grade son has buckled to peer pressure. Not drugs, alcohol, sex or any of those other parental nightmares. No, gave in to the need to read "Twilight." The series is quite the rage amongst the 6th-8th grade set. Both boys and girls are reading it. At school during SSR (sustained silent reading) both genders are reading the books. He finished the first one in a day and a half and now he is reading the next one. My neighbor has the other two so it saves me a trip to the store.

I asked him what he thought. I've read the book and to be honest didn't find it all that compelling. I didn't, however, share my opinion since I wanted him to form his own. He thought there was too much romance in the first. I had to explain to him that was the point. He thought Edward was creepy and Bella's clumsiness plain annoying. He likes the storyline and the pace and some of the other characters. I think he preferred "New Moon" over the first book. I think he'll finish the series just to see what happens.

I had some reservations about him reading the book. No, there wasn't anything objectionable in the contents and I thought it was appropriate to his maturity. What concerned me is that he would think relationships should work like Bella and Edward's. Without going into details, my biggest problem with "Twilight" was Bella's obsession with Edward. And once they begin their relationship, it overtakes everything she does. He becomes her world. It goes against the feminist grain in me and I really don't want my son thinking girls should be like that. I didn't have to worry, he perceived Bella's behavior as being overly needy and unattractive.

But it does make me wonder. What impact does this book have on 11, 12 and 13 year-olds who are just beginning to explore romantic relationships. Are they going to be swept away by the story and long for that kind of romance? Or are they savvy enough to see it as the dramatic love story it is?

Mother's Cookies

I was confronted this morning with devastating news. Mother's Cookies has closed it's doors. While this isn't as apocalyptic news as say, Nabisco discontinuing the Oreo, it still punches me in the gut.

As a child Circus Animal cookies were a rare treat. Those blah shortbread cookie deluged with greasy pink and white frosting and sprinkles really appealed to me. And every holiday they came out with special colors: red, white and blue for 4th of July, black and orange for Halloween and green and red for Christmas.

My favorite was Cookie Parade. It was my own special post-pregnancy food. I was sneak up to the drugstore as soon as I got home from the hospital, gray-faced with pain, just to get my fix. And I hid them. No one touched my cookies. I'd grab them my the handfuls and eat them in one huge cookie mess. Probably pretty disgusting to watch but for some reason it was the only way I could eat them.

I'm going to miss Mother's Cookies. They weren't the best tasting cookies although the soft pumpkin cookies I bought the other day are pretty good. But they were cheap and colorful. The packaging was familiar. While so many other cookie companies changed their products (how many different variety of Oreos are there?), Mother's pretty much stuck to its usual.

Good bye, Mother's Cookies, you will be missed.

It's Looming....

I've run out of excuses. My life is in order and now I need to focus on my writing. It is so hard to bring myself back into the writing mode. It isn't a question of motivation. My problem is discipline.

Self-discipline has always been issue for me. I'm not real good at it, hence the reason I'm always about 30 lbs. overweight. The things I am good about are tied to the expectations of others. I keep my house clean because I live with a neat freak. I understand a messy house grates on him. It grates on me too but if it were up to me only, I would have a hard time getting myself in gear to clean up. I'm good about having a planned menu for the week because we have so many activities during the week I don't have time to worry about it on the fly. And having three kids whine about what's for dinner keeps me disciplined about meal times. If it were up to me, it would be scavenging through the fridge.

But no one has any expectations about my writing but me. No one else in the house cares whether the book gets done or not. Only I do. I'm motivated to get the book done. The sooner its done, the sooner it gets to my agent and I can try and sell it. The sooner its done, the sooner I can move onto something else. I have good reason to sit down and write. Unfortunately getting myself to sit down and perform is another story. Oh, I'll get there. But I have to work at it. I need to ignore the distractions which surround me and focus on my book.

How good are you at self-discipline?

I'm burning with envy for Melissa. The lucky girl is enjoying a holiday in England. Talk about a distraction.

Stay At Home Mom? I Wish...

I am never home. The times that I am at home are devoted to playing catch up in the house or making dinner. Lately, I've had to help my kids with school work and projects. Today is my first day home without any running around. I had all sorts of plans but my pantry has yet again been invaded by pantry moths. I hate these things. They are coming in on the food I buy and setting up shop. Along with traps, I am scrubbing my shelves and throwing away food to get rid of them.

It hasn't been a great week anyway. Monday night I sliced two fingers open skinning a butternut squash. I probably should have gotten stitches but frankly, I don't have the time. They seem to be healing okay on their own. I've stepped up my involvement in Girl Scouts and we are trying to plan an event. Oh my, I forgot how little common sense and courtesy people can have. Nuff said. If you've ever had to organize anything large for children, you know what I mean.

And to make my week even better, we file our taxes at the last possible moment. So Oct. 15 is looming and I spent most of last week and this week gathering data. What a pain. But that's done.

Anyway, I'm looking at smoother sailing for the next week. Right now I feel like one of those moms on the Hamburger Helper commercial who describes how busy her life is and how Hamburger Helper has eased the burden. Only they dress better, wear make up and I'd rather eat pantry moths than eat Hamburger Helper.

How's your week been?

Renaissance Girl

Diva started cello lessons this week and here she is practicing...with her soccer gear on.

Diva is in soccer, baseball, horseback, Girl Scouts and cello. It seems too much, doesn't it? I was really concerned she would burn out or something would falter. But it seems like the more she has to do, the happier she is. She loves school, dives into her homework and reads more than ever. There are no arguments over soccer practice, she is eager to go. Not so much with baseball, she likes baseball but she isn't big on practices, however she still goes and has a good attitude. She can't wait for horseback and she is interested in pursuing her badges. Why she picked the cello, I'll never understand, but she is very excited and was on it all afternoon and into the evening. After soccer practice she went back to playing on it.

I was never like this. EVER. I did horseback and baton. I played softball and played the flute. I was a Campfire Girl. But rarely did I do any of these things at the same time. And some of it was just because my mom made me. I much preferred to stay home and read. I still don't like getting involved in stuff because it takes me away from writing. I do it because I have to. Schools need volunteers. My kids need rides. Someone has to do the grocery shopping. I'd be happy living in a cave with an Internet connection.

Diva is the opposite. She thrives on attention. She loves being outdoors. Her circle of friends increases exponentially every week. Everything interests her and she loves to compete. Its funny when we start seeing how our children emerge into their own. My son emerged a long time ago and honestly I don't see him chaning much as an adult. Though he doubts it, I think he will become a writer someday. Diva will not. She is more like a heroine in an "American Girl" novel.

I think the big difference between us is that she grasps the vibrancy of life, plunges headlong into the experiences the world offers while I am content to observe it and translate it onto the page. I admire her self-confidence and her courage. But I wonder where it came from.

What kind of person are you? Do you grasp life by the horns or do you like to watch other people do it?


Pumpkin of the Day: I had two pumpkin muffin tops I made yesterday and pumpkin spice creamer in my coffee.

Pumpkin Month

I'm very glad to see September pass us by. I felt horrible the whole month. Whatever this cold was, it settled in my chest and I've had a hard time catching my breath. But finally I seem to be getting better in time for my favorite season.

It's still quite hot here. We're knocking on the the triple digits today but we should cool off next week. However, I'm already going into Autumn mode which means one thing: Pumpkin.

I love pumpkin. I love pumpkin pie, muffins, pastries, lattes, pastas, soups, blah blah blah. So in honor of my favorite squash, my goal this month is to eat something pumpkin related every day. As goals go it is rather flip, but I suppose it is a good practice in goal-making.

My other goal is to finish my current book so I can start something fresh in November. I think the pumpkin goal will be tougher, I'm almost done with my WIP.

So if you have a pumpkin recipe you think I need to help me achieve my goal, let me know.

Today I made pumpkin muffins. It was my daughter's turn for snack at school so I thought it would make a nice kick off to October.

Now What Do I Do?

It is all very exciting. The kids are off to school, I've got dinner marinating and the bed made. The rest of the day until 2 p.m. is mine. There are so many things I want to do. There are plenty of cleaning projects I could work on. I have lots of organizing to do. And of course there is daytime television. I was going to go to the gym but I'm still coughing quite a bit.

All of these things would be great, but there is a word document open and ready on my computer. It simply needs its writer to get back into the swing of things and finish it.

Why is it so easy to lose the drive to write? I'm sure it doesn't happen to everyone, but I know I'm not alone. For me, the writing bug has to be constantly fed and coddled or it fades. I get it back, but damn, it's tough. It isn't a lack of motivation or a feeling of inadequacy. I just don't wanna. Maybe that is why I like NaNoWriMo so much. It doesn't give you the hem-haw choice of whether you feel like writing or not.

What do you think? How do you get yourself in the mood to write?

A Fresh Start

I pretty much stole the idea of this post from Kelly. We both feel like September is the new year. For me, it is the start of so many things. School for the kids. The return of extracurricular activities and the social life which is a part of that. In Southern California it is a time of emerging from our air conditioned caves and enjoying the cooler temperatures. A lot of things are in bloom this time of year, a whole rebirth as it were.

When I'm trying to make changes in my life this is when I do it. October, November and December are incredibly hectic so I need to be set in my ways beforehand. I do fall cleaning. I pick a room and work on it for a day. Now that I don't have my kids around during the day, it doesn't take me much time. I get myself in the habit of planning menus for the week and getting a logical shopping list together. I try to make it as easy to transition into the busy months as possible. Except for dieting. I only try to maintain some control. To ask myself to lose weight this time of year is a guarantee for failure. Did you know they make pumpkin spice Hershey kisses? Ouch.

Obviously the holidays are the biggest sources of activity. I host Thanksgiving and my three kids all celebrate their birthdays in November and December. While I'm trying to plan parties, I'm also dealing with the regular school activities along with sports. But if I put myself in the mode to be organized, it really isn't too bad.

As for writing...

This is writing season for me. I tend to really crank out the words. And November is NaNoWriMo. I really want to win it this year. I won two years ago but did miserably last year. For some reason, it really gives me a creative jolt. I enjoy the pressure and I think some of my best writing has come out of it.

Do you get a feeling of renewel this time of year or does another season call to you?

I'd Like to Cancel this Week and Start Over

I had such lovely plans for the week. I was organized, had my time scheduled and looked forward to a great week filled with accomplishments.

Then Thing brings home the cold from hell. This is not unusual. The start of the school year introduces a new set of viruses into the home. My daughter, my hubby and Thing were all sick. Hubby and Diva stayed home sick and in bed. I did all the work figuring I'd have time to recover when hubby went back to work. By Monday night he was feeling much better. Tueaday morning I was awakened by his groans of agony. He had a pain in his side which wouldn't go away. We had no idea what it was so I called my mom and she headed over to take the kids to school. Mind you, I'm feeling like death warmed over, but I still had to drive my husband to the emergency room. I had visions of something serious which would require surgery and *shudder* at-home recovery time. Luckily, we got right in. They took some blood, ran him through the CT scan and pumped him full of pain meds. He had a kidney stone. It was small enough the doctor figured it would pass on its own. So by that afternoon my dh felt pretty perky, even went to work.

So Wednesday I finally got to stay home but was running a fever and felt lousy. But I had to get better because I had volunteered to go to the L.A. County Fair with Diva's class. I tried to weasel out of it but the teacher was desperate. Fortunately, I was feeling a little better and drugs did the rest and I made it through the day. So today is all about catching up. I'm tackling the mountains of laundry and all the little things on my to do list and hoping for a better week next week.

Scooter Girl

I'm sick today courtesy of Thing. I love the first part of school because the kids seem to pick up everything and bring them home. Hence a less than detailed post. I liked these pictures, though, so I thought I'd share.
Diva got a new scooter. I swear, we keep the Razor company in the black. This one is an early birthday present and she has been riding it to death. Anything with wheels has her going. The faster, the better. Think I'll need to lock up the keys to the mustangs when she turns 16?

Pathetic, Isn't It?

I was so tired of my blog I messed around with it until it was unusable. Frusterated, I went for a regular blogger template until I can decide what to do. I found myself with lots of blog posts in my head but too caught up in the blogskin to do anything. Until I can figure out what I want to do, I'm stuck with this blah thing. How long do you think it will be before I tinker with it? I give it 24 hours myself.

Heaven

Ah, the first day of school. It rates with Christmas on my favorite day scale. I know it sounds like I don't like my kids. That isn't the case, but after a summer of the constant tension of having them around, I can't wait to get rid of them.

Yesterday I went out for a two hour breakfast with a friend then came home and sat in a stupor of euphoria for an hour before it was time to pick them up. This year is extra-special because Thing is now in school full day. I can actually hear myself think. Today I'm catching up on laundry and trying to get over the shock of being in a quiet house. I'm celebrating by cranking up the stereo and listening to the New Wave channel on XM radio.

But it is too easy to fall into a habit of doing nothing. I'm hoping I can appreciate the time I have now and use it wisely. However, I think that can wait until Monday.

One Day More!

Did you see the musical "Les Miserables?" Remember the "One Day More!" scene where the people are euphoric for the next day? The song is a stirring anthem that pulses through your veins making you want to jump up on the stage with them and march around with a big flag. I feel like that right now. The joy of a new beginning fills my soul, the promise of brand new day free from tyranny beckons.

Yes, tomorrow is the first day of school!

Today promises to be busy. There are mountains of laundry to do and menus to plan. But I can assure you, I will skip, sashay, dance down the aisles of the grocery store today. I will smile as I'm folding clothes. The sun is shining just a little bit brighter in my world today.

So, anything you are looking forward to?

BTW, anyone have a good link for free web graphics. I'm really freakin' tired of these flip flops but it isn't really time for fall graphics yet. I need a change.

Gems from the Great Magazine Purge

I've taken a break from reading and have dived into my stacks of magazines. Since some of them have Halloween covers, I figure its about time to go through them. Can't justify buying this year's when I still have last years.

Anyway, I have a variety. Real Simple is a big one. I don't have a subscription but I'm going to have to correct that situation. Martha Stewart's "Everyday Food" and "Living" are well-represented and there's a few of Rachel Ray's magazine (I like her magazine, don't like the recipes). I also get one called Family Fun that I get from Disney. Not sure why. My kids had a couple of subcriptions to their online games and I've been on the list ever since. It has some great stuff.

But today's gem comes from the Romance Writer's Report (RWR), the magazine of the RWA. In the July issue Virgina Kantra has an excellent article on developing the romance in your novel. She talks about physical awareness and how people are hardwired for physical attraction. Even if your characters aren't breathtakingly gorgeous, their needs to be physical triggers which hook the reader into seeing why the characters are attracted to one another. The emotional conflict needs to make the romance seem impossible or at least a very bad idea. Gender typing is not a bad thing in romance. The hero should be able to take care of the heroine, whether it be with a gun or a check book. For the heroine, she needs to show her ability to nurture. No matter how tough she is, we need to see her give a damn about something. Gender typing is a universal concept that will resonate with readers and trigger their own responses. The writer also needs to show why the hero/heroine are attracted to and falling in love with each other. She goes on to talk about showing the couple in society and how that can build the relationship and that the end needs to be satisfying. Readers long to experience the moments of surrender with the characters. And more, the reader needs to believe that these two characters are going to make it.

Anyway, if you RWA members still have this issue, I'd read that article. Kantra also has several other interesting articles on her website. I just remembered I took a class from her online. She's a sharp cookie.

Speakings of sweet things, I just ran into an awesome set of recipes. I'll share those tomorrow.

I Hate Backstory

I hate reading it, I hate writing it even more. When an author does an info dump, I'm pretty quick to put the book down. However, backstory is a necessary evil.

When I was a kid I'd try to hide my green beans and peas in the mashed potatoes so when I had to eat them, the taste would be hidden. I try to do the samething with my writing.

My usual method is dialogue. I break the information down and spread it out. Kind of like one of those innumerable glasses of water Weight Watchers says I must drink everyday. If I drink two glasses of water, I can have a Diet Coke. Or if I fold a load of laundry, I get to play a video game. Such is my motivation for getting those pieces of backstory in.

But I'm at a point in my story where most of those tricks aren't going to work. I need get the info out in a hurry or the story isn't going to move along. Ughh.... However, I'm a writer and therefore think I have some developed imagination. It's my world, as long as I keep within confines of that world, I can do whatever I want. And since I write a fantasy type setting, the rules are pretty broad.

I came up with something clever and turned my info dump into an action scene. I do have to do some quick research on 1920's kitchens, but hey, better than long tracts of narration.

What do you think about backstory? Does it bother you? How do you fit it into your writing?

Daunted

My writing, which was going like a gangbusters has dropped off sharply. The words have slowed to a trickle, each sentence more torturous than the last to write. I'm in the last third of the novel, past that ponderous middle so I should be on easy street with regards to writing. I know my characters, my plot and my ending, its really a matter of connecting the dots. But I am really struggling.

One problem I have when I write is I let the world around me fall into chaos. Oh, I get dinner on the table, but it is last minute and hardly worthy of my kitchen. The bed is made and you won't trip on anything walking through the house. I operate on minimum effort. I know it isn't unusual for writers to let things go to hell in a handbasket when they are enmeshed in a book, but I can't survive in a chaotic environment. I suffer from mild depression and I find one of the triggers for an episode is disorder.

I'm naturally disorganized (except for my dishwasher)and it is very easy for me to let it all go. However, I don't like living like that hence it is a constant battle. So since I've been working on this WIP, I've let my natural tendencies free rein. Until Friday....

I have a cleaning lady who comes every other Friday. It is one of my big indulgences. She only does my bathrooms and kitchen but as I have four bathrooms, its an all day thing. The point in having her come in is to free me to get other chores done. My housekeeper arrived the other morning and I decided to make the best of the time and went upstairs to my kids' room. They have a dress up drawer so I decided we needed to go through it and toss the things that had outlived their usefulness. After we finished I realized we might as well clean up their room. After that, I walked into their toy room.

Oh. My. It was out of control and I knew I had to address it. I have to admit, I wanted to drop to the floor in a swoon, it seemed insurmountable. But I divided it into areas and went in for the attack. My one daughter helped (her sister is more trouble than she's worth when it comes to something serious). We started with the closet, tossing out things they have no use for, setting aside toys for charity and reorganizing the shelves to make it easier for them to get and replace things. It was amazing how much room we had. Next we tackled the bookshelves. Ughh....It was time to get rid of the Little Golden Books. Most of ours were Muppet related so I didn't feel too bad putting them in the charity box. Same goes for board books and those annoying books that are huge and have the push buttons on the side. We'd pick them up at Costco for $10 and they'd entertain the kids while we shopped. The Barney Christmas one was particualrly annoying. I was amazed at how may really cool books they have. The variety of children's books is so much greater than when I was a kid.

On Saturday we tackled the Barbies and the Polly Pockets. It took almost all day. They have some very cool Polly Pocket stuff. I wish they had those when I was a kid. On Sunday I made two loaves of bread and chicken souvlaki. And by today, I felt refreshed and able to write.

I guess my point is that when you have writer's block or no movtivation to write, it might be time to take stock of your situation. I know I've talked about this before but I think it bears repeating. At least I need the reminder. And maybe it isn't disorder. Maybe you haven't gone to the gym lately. Or maybe its time to take an afternoon or evening and go out with a friend for a meal and window shoppping. It could be a hobby is sitting there neglected and needing help. Bake some cookies or try a new recipe. We need to be reminded we are more than just writers. What makes us writers is everything else we are.

Three Weeks.....

Summer is winding down in one sense. School begins in three weeks and I couldn't be more excited.

I feel bad, the summer didn't quite go as planned. My children have the misfortune of having a writer for a mother who gets focused on her WIP and can't switch gears too easily. On the other hand, I have three children who find entertaining themselves nigh on impossible.

One thing I really despise is the images of motherhood on television and in magazines. They make me feel bad. I watch and read about moms who devote their days to their spawn, coming up with cute and clever craft projects for them to do. Or creative parties for the neighborhood kids. These moms turn every day into an adventure. Yuck.

I start out with the best of intentions every summer. I come up with some ideas, make plans, but they fall apart almost immediately. I live in southern California, its not like there nothing to do. There are plenty of project kits for the kids to do. I haven't been inclined to involve myself too much. Because as much as I'm not like the moms on tv and magazines, my kids aren't like those children either.

I think like all moms I feel underappreciated. I don't ask much. I want their rooms to be somewhat clean. I want them to pick up the toys they've left downstairs. I want them to stay out of the pantry. But most of all I want them to stop fighting.

Oh my goodness. I'm an only child, so there was no one to fight with. My kids seem to be elevating it to an artform. Its never physical but some of the vileness they come up with floors me. They insult each other for no apparent reason. I just want to smack them. I don't feel too inclined to do anything nice for them when they act like this.

Also, they don't want to go anywhere. When we told my son we'd take him to San Francisco with us, he didn't want to go. When I've broached the subject of going to a museum, they shrug, not really interested. Last year we bought passes to a water park and I couldn't get them interested in going. GRRRRR! And when we do go somewhere, it is a fiasco. Going to the grocery store becomes a major trauma.

Anyway, this is my summer ending vent. By June of next year I will be making plans again for the summer, conveniently blanking out this summer.

Am I alone in this? Do you find summer frusterating with your kids?

Workshop- Creating Web Presence

This is the last workshop I'm going to talk about. There were others but this one made a big impression on me. It was presented by Emma Clair and Michelle McGinnis who were very thorough and and spoke in a language most people could understand. They also had the best handouts. Very organized.

I have to admit the workshop also scared the crud out of me. When I went into labor with my son, my husband ran through the checklist the Lamaze instructor gave us. I remember sitting there watching as he went through page after page. Finally, he looks up and he's on the next to the last page and says "we should have been at the hospital a long time ago."

I kind of felt that same level of panic. Obviously not quite as extreme. But you get the analogy. I'm reading through their handout and seeing where I am at in my writing career and where I should be in cyberspace. ACKKKK!!!

I don't have much of a web presence. I have this blog and I horse around on Myspace and Facebook, but that's about it. I couldn't think of anything I would actually put on a web site. I'm not published. I have an agent, so I'm not really trying to impress them. I'm not sure how much editors actually look at sites unless they've already signed the author.

However, I do need to give it more thought, hence my interest in the class. Michelle and Emma stressed the need to register a domain name. I did that. I went with renemiller.net. I'd have preferred a .com name but the variations on my name were too clunky. The ladies recommended getting a Wordpress site since they are free. Yeah, they're nice but I'm not sure that's the rout I want to go. I have to give it some thought. I really don't want to give up this blog. I've had it so long. But I think my focus for a site would be different than my focus for here. Since I'm coming to the end of my latest opus and expect it will be in my agent's hands before the end of September, I would like to get my cyber presence a bit more developed.

Something else I thought was interesting that Emma and Michelle pointed out was cleaning up after yourself. They pointed out that those bad reviews on Amazon could come back to haunt you. Or that flame war over on another blog from years ago might resurface. These are things to be aware of. Somethings can be deleted, others can't and sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut or just walk away.

They also talked about "egosurfing." Yeah, we've all googled ourselves at least once. It can be taken a step further by signing up for "google alerts." I can't really explain how it works but it "tracks" you in cyberspace.

Emma's website has more stuff on it about web presence so check it out.

Query Contest

My Chapter (East Valley Authors) is having our 2nd query contest, so if you've got an extra $5 and a polished query letter, give it a shot.

2nd Annual EVA Query Contest
Romance Writers of America - East Valley Authors
Official Rules

1. Contest is limited to the first 100 entries.

2. Contest deadline is September 1, 2008.

3. Entry fees ($5) and submissions received with postal datestamp after September 1, 2008 will not be accepted. Fees ($5) will be accepted at the EVA website through PayPal or send check, entry form and submission to:

East Valley Authors
P.O.Box 84
West Covina, CA 91793-9000

4. Contest is open to any writer.

5. All genres of fiction are welcome.

6. Entries shall consist of:

A one to two-page query letter.
Standard business letter format -- see below
Addressed to:

Kevan Anne Lyon and Jill Marsal
Sandra Dijkstra Agency

7. If submitting as a hard copy:
THREE copies of your query letter
A standard self-addressed stamped envelope with sufficient postage for return of submissions and scores

8. If submitting an electronic copy:
Please provide a valid email address
Send entry as an attachment

Email entry to: Contest Coordinator

9. Entries must be formatted as follows:
MINIMUM 1-inch margins, readable font of 12 pt, Time New Roman, Courier, or Arial preferred.
Justiy left but do NOT justify right margins
It is a business letter to be addressed to the above agency with the salutation to the agents even though the query letters will be pre-read by EVA, the final judges will be the agents.

10. Multiple entries will be considered but a separate entry fee must be paid for each.

11. Each separate entry must be accompanied by an official entry form, a signed release, and an entry fee.

12. Preliminary judging will be done on a point basis, with all manuscripts judged by two trained judges, highest score will be used. In the case where a submission receives larger than a 10=point spread, a third judge will be used and that final score taken.

13. Finalists are chosen by their overall score and must be among the top five.

14. Finalists will be judged by Kevan Anne Lyon and Jill Marsal of the Sandra Dijkstra Agency.

15. Finalist will be announced at the October 2008 EVA monthly meeting. Winner announcements will be made to the RWA. All finalists and the winner will be notified by phone or email.

16. The winner will receive a gift certificate worth $50.00.

17. Failure to comply with any of the above rules will result in disqualificaiton. The EVA Board of Directors will resolve any disputes that may arise. Their decision will be final.

18. The contest cannot be held liable for any failure of the delivery of entries due to the USPS, or your chosen method of delivery.

19. Contact Contest Coordinator with any questions.

DISCLAIMER: Winning the contest does not guarantee a request for your manuscript from the Sandra Dijkstra Agency.



Click Score Sheet to see our scoring.

Click Online Form for contest.



FEE per entry: $5

Workshops-Sex and the Single Title

As I said, the best part of conference was the enthusiasm I felt for writing. So I came home and plunged back into my WIP. I've cranked out a few thousand words and now I'm to a scene where I have to make a choice: does she or doesn't she. I'm talking about a love scene of course. Is this the right time for the hero and the heroine to engage in an intimate act? Fortunately, I attended a workshop about that topic and it has proved a real help at this point.

The workshop was presented by authors Roxanne St. Claire, CJ Lyons, Toni McGee Causey and St. Martin's Press editor Matthew Shear. The biggest point I got from this workshop was the point of the love scene. It should make things worse. Now, I have three kids so I can attest to the fact sex can make everything worse, but I don't think that's what they meant *snort*. Sex should complicate a conflict and make it worse. I never thought of it that way. Too often I think of sex as a way of easing a conflict. Kind of dull, really. The love scenes should change the characters, make them react differently to the situations they find themselves in.

Love scenes are also a great way of showing vulnerability in your characters. Lyons suggested looking at the vulnerable spots of the human body for added texture to a love scene. Again, something I hadn't thought of. But as a paranormal author and reader where vulnerability is so key, I can't believe I hadn't scene it before. The throat, the soft part of the belly, etc. are very vulnerable to attack. Is there anything more intimate than baring that part of the body to a lover trusting they won't hurt you? Very primal.

As far as sex goes, the panel did say mainstream romance could get pretty explicit. The rise of erotic has spilled into the mainstream and hot scenes are, well, hot. However the panel did stress that intimacy is just as important. Without intimacy, the scenes are just sex scenes. The panel did say there is a lot more sex in their novels now than a few years ago. But CJ Lyons made the point is that while her books are sexy, there is actually very little sex. The sexual tension is far more important in her stories.

Anyway, it was an excellent workshop and definitely one you might want to think of purchasing.

Workshops- Dialogue

My main interest in conference this year was the workshops. For as much as I was spending, I wanted to go to as many as I could. It also means you have to make some choices because of course there are always two workshops going on you want to go to. Fortunately, you can buy the cd's with the workshops taped. In fact, I believe they will be selling the individual workshops on a download basis.

As I said earlier, I did go to the dialogue workshop with Elizabeth Hoyt. I like the cadence of her dialogue in her writing and I had a copy of her handout before the conference so I thought it would be interesting. And it was. But please, when the presenter says there are no stupid questions, don't believe her. THERE ARE!

I'm probably not being fair since I'm sure many of the participants were new to writing, BUT (and I know Olivia backs me on this one) a question can be beat to death as can a topic. And I felt that was what happened in that particular workshop. Still, I did get some tips I hadn't thought about and learned about beats and tags. Tags are "she said's" after a piece of dialogue. A beat is when the character does something in the midst of the dialogue as in

"I'm going to choke that person if they ask anymore questions." Rene beat her head with her binder, "I could really use a drink right now."

Ms. Hoyt explained that beats and tags shouldn't be combined. I'm guilty of that one so now I'm more aware of it. The other really good point she made was that men don't speak as much as women. When we are trying to portray men in our books, remember that simple fact when writing dialogue. Keep their dialogue short. Also (and this I knew) don't avoid contractions in your dialogue. People have always spoken in contractions. Historical writers are quite often guilty of making their characters speak in formal language. But most contractions in the English language have been around for a very long time. She was a good presenter, very funny and eager to share her knowledge.

The Best Thing About Conference

So I've had a couple of days to reflect about conference.

First, it is exhausting, emotionally, mentally and physically. There is certainly a lot of excitement at conference. For me, it was tough because I'm not particularly outgoing. Oddly enough, you could put me on a dais and I could speak without a problem. But plunk me in the middle of 2000 strangers and ask me to network and I freeze up. I was better in the smaller areas where there were small seating areas. It was far easier to sit down and chat with someone than mingle. For the most part, people are friendly but it is cliquey. I wish I had had more of a network before I went. I didn't know a whole lot of people going in. But I did meet a few. Most of the published authors I met were very friendly and supportive. I didn't approach any agents although I did get into an odd conversation about chocolate with Mary Sue Seymour. My pinnacle of bravery was introducing myself to an editor and having a brief conversation with him. He was quite nice but I was so panicked I don't remember much. Those of you who pitched to editors and agents have my eternal admiration. I don't think I could do it.

I was trying to get the most out of the workshops so I focused pretty hard. Mentally draining, I tell you. And by the end of the day, I was wiped out. I don't think I made it to a session after 4:30. Physically, it was tough trying to get where I was going and figuring out where it was. I hate elevators so I was going up and down stairs a lot. Wish I'd worn better shoes.

But conference is exhilirating. Even though I was overwhelmed, I felt the enthusiasm of the writers. Although the goal in our careers is to get published, that isn't actually the vibe I got at conference. It was more a celebration of our love of writing. So many of us will not get our books in print and when we are at home behind our keyboards, those dark thoughts have a chance to hold and thrive in our minds. We tend to care for them like tender flowers, nurturing them with our own pessimism and self-doubt. But conference clears so much of that away because writing is what it is. As writers, we love words and it is easy to forget that. Sometimes we don't see the forest for the trees. Words are the trees, individual and strong, gathered together to create a magical place.

For me conference was a way of getting back in touch with the reason I write. Yeah, yeah, I want to get published. But if I don't love to write, it ain't going to happen. Readers can feel the love you pour into a book and without the love, it will never get published.

Home Sweet Home

We made the long drive home today from San Francisco. It was a long day, about a 7 hour drive. But at least I got to come home and make dinner.

I went to a couple of spotlights and went to Susan Mallery's workshop about doing a triology. Unfortunately, it was held a too-small room and I could feel claustraphobia kicking in. So I headed down to the Avon spotlight. I'll get into more depth on these later. I did make it to a workshop with Heather Graham and Alexandra Sokoloff about vampires, ghosts and other paranormal stuff. It was pretty interesting.

Okay, here's my complaint. There were only two paranormal type workshops. Two and a half if you count the genre bending workshop (I went to the Kensington spotlight instead). Considering how hot that particular market is, it wasn't well represented in the workshops. And the one I went to was full.

By the last workshop I was exhausted. Since there was nothing I was dying to go to, I headed back to my hotel. My hubby, son and I took part of the 49 mile drive. It's a beautiful drive and was about all I saw of the city my whole trip. I didn't go to the award ceremony. I hate dressing up and in my non-writing life, I get stuck doing it more than I like.

Tomorrow I'll start getting into more details tomorrow about conference. But I'm tired and dinner's on the stove.

Who Is Barbara Cartland?

Yesterday's luncheon was great. Connie Brockway spoke and she was funny and inspiring. However, when she mentioned Barbara Cartland, several people at my table didn't know who she was. Wow. I felt very old. But maybe that would be a good workshop, the history of the genre. I couldn't blame them for not knowing about Dame Barbara, but I think it is important that we learn the roots of the genre.

Anyway, yesterday was very full with workshops and spotlights. I went to several workshops and a couple of publisher spotlights. When I get home, I'll go into more detail about them. My head's a little dizzy with all the info. I went to another workshop this morning and another spotlight. Right now I'm taking a break. They don't provide lunch today so we're on our own. That's okay, I could go without a few meals right now. I found a Ben & Jerry's on the bottom floor of Macy's. Very bad for me. Plus, since we've been walking to dinner, the wine consumption has been high. I'm going to live at the gym next week.

I did run into Kelly a couple of times. It's fun to put a face to the blog. I've met a bunch of great new people, that's been a lot of fun. Glad I brought business cards. The only complaint I have is that twice I've gone to a workshop and there hasn't been any room. In that case I've found other workshops or its late enough I've gone back to my hotel room. There is a bunch of stuff going on this afternoon. I won't be attending the evening festivities, I'm not into the dress up thing. I'm leaving first thing in the morning tomorrow and to be frank, I'll be glad to go home. I actually miss my girls.

...And You Thought The Line for Nora was Long

This photo was from the literacy signing. You can tell from the panicked look on my face how I feel about crowds. It got worse this afternoon. I nearly bolted. I was in the main lobby waiting for lunch and it was filled in by inch with romance writers. My stomach clenched and I clung to a column for dear life. Agent Steven Axelrod was standing across from me in deep conversation with someone Very Important I'm sure. He was wearing a seersucker suit. So my focus turned to seersucker, then I thought about who wore seersucker. Of course that was Matlock. But Steven Axelrod doesn't look anything like Matlock. My husband wants a seersucker suit but I won't let him get one because he would look like Matlock. Anyway, by the time that train of thought ended, it was time to go down for lunch. While waiting to go in, I did nearly knock down a sign. Only one person saw me. Things were better inside. They already had the salads on the tables and they were pretty good. Lunch was rubber chicken with sauce and the only coffee available at our table was decaf *shudder*. I chatted with two other ladies and then it was time for Victoria Alexander to speak. She was great, I really enjoyed her speech. She's very funny.

After lunch it was time for workshops. I put my stuff down and decided to head to the bathroom. OMG, the line for the bathroom was longer than anything from the literacy signing. I decided to hold it.

The first workshop I went to was a dialogue one presented by historical author Elizabeth Hoyt.
It was pretty good and she is funny and very knowledgeable. My only problem was the people who harped on the same question over and over and over again. It made her rush through the rest of the program.

Then it was on to the next workshop. And there was a line for the bathroom. I was going to go to a program presented by Cherry Adair about writing a blockbuster or something like that. But the room was filled to capacity and I didn't want to get stuck in the crush. I went to another workshop mainly because they still had seats. It was put on by a group of authors who do the Debutante Ball group blog. Wow, it was pretty good and made me start thinking about things. They discussed the trouble with promotion and how they use their "grog" to promote each other. Group blogs are great but they need organization to be successful and I really liked their approach to managing their web. They seemed very focus on what they were doing.

There weren't any workshops after that I was interested in so I headed back to my hotel to my unoccupied bathroom. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I've got some leftover chocolate mouse torte which I need to finish from dinner (we went to a nice Italian place called Kuleto's) then its off to bed for an early morning.

Quick Update

I've got a break in between the opening session and lunch. I should be networking, but as gregarious as I am online, I'm quite introverted in public.

The opening session was okay. The speaker was good, I found her entertaining but not particularly motivational. I did meet a fellow writer from SoCal and we chatted a bit after the meeting. I forced one of my business cards on her.

Lunch is at 12:15 so I had a couple of hours to kill. Did a little window shopping but decided to head back to the hotel and check my email. My husband and son went off to Alcatraz this morning so I'm by myself. Hence, the reason I'm back at the hotel. I enjoy my solitude.

One of my big problems is that I'm a suburbanite. Being out amongst humanity makes me nervous. Plus they smell. I've also discovered cable cars run late at night. I can hear them right outside my window. It was so loud during the night that when it finally got quiet, it woke me up.

Workshops start later this afternoon. I'm not sure how long I'm going to last. I'm tired. Two days of driving wore me out. And trying to navigate with your husband driving is even more exhausting, am I right?

I was going to post pictures then remembered hubby took the camera. I do have my camera phone so I'll see what I can do this afternoon.

First Night in SFO

I've got a few pictures but frankly, I'm too tired to hunt down my stick adapter and load them up. Maybe tomorrow. Hope so.

Okay, so I'm in my hotel in S.F. It is probably the loudest location ever. The cable car runs right outside my room (I'm staying at the Villa Florence) which has a great location, so its probably worth it. We pulled in around five, unpacked and headed to the big literacy event. Oh, and I registered. My bag had a several books in it. Way cool.

Oh my! The number of people was beyond belief. Let me re-phrase that, the number of women was beyond belief. Several of them very attractive, according to my husband. I think he might have been trying to hit on Nora Roberts, he seemed awfully interested when I pointed her out. She could by him more cars, I'm sure. I met Kelly and Michelle. That was fun. I met a few authors and reaquainted with some others. These poor girls were so excited to see la Nora so I offered to take a picture of them by the RWA sign. Freakin' shots were all blurry. They didn't care, they were too excited.

Tomorrow will be the real challenge. I have to walk by an DSW Shoe(hubby refers to it as hell) and a Sephora along with the mall. Down the street is Macy's. It's going to be difficult walking to conference without getting distracted.

Well, its almost 11 p.m. and I need to take a shower. Tomorrow should be full of more news, if I can survive the siren song of the shops.

A Whole Lot Of Shakin' Going On

So I'm packing for conference when it hits. The ground starts to shake then my house rolls back an forth as if on roller skates. All I can think is "please don't be centered near San Francisco." However, having been through an earthquake or two, I realized by the length of the quake it was pretty nearby (about 10 miles). No damage. Didn't lose power, phones or (thank heavens) Internet. The true earthquake hit an hour later when I went upstairs to put laundry away and exploded at the mess my kids had made upstairs. I took away all game consoles and computers. Barbies are gone too. Course they won't be home the rest of the week, but I think everything will remain gone for awhile.

Haven't finished packing. Realized my hubby was out of socks. Searched the laundry and couldn't find any. Someone must be eating them. Had to run down to Target and pick up some more. Now I'm waiting for them to dry.

We are supposed to be leaving in an hour, I'm guessing it will be more like two. My laptop is already packed up so I'm using another machine. Well, I will be back online tomorrow night. My cell phone has email, so I can still check that out.

The San Francisco Post: Part II

I pondered back and forth about business cards. I couldn't decide if I really needed them or not. But since I was at Wal Mart anyway, I picked up some printable cards and came up with this little number. A little gaudy, I suppose, but I had fun. My email and phone number are on the back. I figure I'll print up 20 or so, force them on my friends. They make nice bookmarks.

One thing is bothering me. Usually we have some wild and obnoxious RWA controversy going right before conference. The blogs and the boards light up with flaming posts full of hurtful words and virtual hair pulling. Sometimes they happen during conference (remember when they did video montage and everyone got upset?). Someone says something insensitive about another genre or RWA hints at a new policy which gets people up in arms, etc. But this year I can only really think of one. This year, they are not supplying the handouts. We are supposed to print them ourselves. This is supposedly in an attempt to be more green. Others feel like it is cost-cutting move on RWA's part. Could be both. The handouts come out to be 279 pages. Multiply that by a couple of thousand people and you've got well over half a million pieces of paper. I didn't care one way or the other. Actually, I probably lean on the print on demand side. I went through the workshops and checked off the ones I definitely wasn't going to then printed those I knew I was going to or thought there might be a chance I'd go to. I didn't count the pages, but it came out far below 200 pieces of paper. I'm going to punch them and stick them in a binder with a matching little notebook for notes (or doodles, I'm not a note taker, I'm a doodler). It didn't take me all that long, I was cleaning my floor in between printings, but it was a bit inconvenient.

But what is worrying attendees is the cost cutting. Conference is becoming less bang for your buck. There is no Saturday luncheon, the one day where a provided lunch would be welcome considering the schedule for the day. However, they are doing the RITA/GH thing that night, so maybe that takes the place. No matter how you look at it, conference is expensive. Perhaps if it were at a different time of the year and at less rockin' cities, it would likely be cheaper. But attendance would drop. Or maybe not. San Francisco is expensive and with the state of the economy, its going to hurt even more. I suppose you have to consider why you are going and weigh it against the price. Part of the reason I'm going is because it is in San Francisco. So it is worth it to me.

I haven't started packing yet. Lucky me, I'm packing for four people, my girls are staying with my folks. My son can pack for himself. The girls are pretty easy, they will spend most of the time in my parents' pool. My husband, sigh, I'm not sure. The San Fran weather is so variable. He may end up with more clothes than me. Luckily we are driving although we are taking the Shelby, so trunk space is at a minimum.

If I don't get to post tomorrow, I will post on Wednesday. Hopefully some good gossip will come my way. I will blog every night that I'm there to pass on any great tidbits I get.

The San Francisco Post

I'm leaving Tuesday for the RWA Conference in San Francisco. We are driving up Tuesday evening, stopping for the night along the way and making our way up there by Wednesday afternoon. I didn't get into the Marriott. It sold out pretty quickly although I wasn't all that wild about staying there anyway. Crowds make me nervous and I prefer to be somewhere a little less busy. I'll be staying at the Villa Florence. It's only a few blocks from the Marriott and I'll get to walk by all those shops. Hope I make it to Conference!

My husband and son are going as well. My hubby wanted a chance to take his Shelby Mustang out on a major spin. We decided to take my son because he and his dad don't get to do a whole lot of things together. Supernerd is old enough to appreciate the city and hopefully have some fun. As he is entering jr. high this year, I suspect this is the last summer for him to be human until he graduates from high school. He wasn't too thrilled to go until I told him about all the food and that the hotel has wireless Internet access. I did make it clear I wouldn't be around to entertain them. They are going to have to fend for themselves. I did book them a trip to Alcatraz and have mapped it out on public transportation. But that's about it. There is plenty to do in the city, they should be fine.

So I'm planning my wardrobe, which of course means I need to go shopping. I'm not a "business casual" kind of gal. I'm not going to get too excited about my fashion sense since I'm not pitching and none of the editors I aim for are going to be attending. I'm not planning on going to any parties. I'm not going to the awards ceremony on Saturday night. I'm going to the workshops and maybe the luncheons and that's about it. Or hang out in the hotel bar. Or go to the mall.

I got my hair colored and trimmed yesterday. I have a nail appointment on Monday. I'll pull my suitcases this weekend from the attic. I'm going to print out the handouts and organize them in a binder. I gotta figure out which workshops I'm going to. Of course, there are periods where none of the workshops interest me and some periods where three or four are going on at the same time that I'd like to go to. That's what the cd's are for I guess.

I'm going to be fully wired. I'm taking my laptop so I can blog from conference. My cell phone is ready with email and Yahoo messenger. Plus, it takes decent pictures and video.

It should be fun. Heck, I'd go to a sanitation workers convention if it were in San Francisco.

Those of you going to conference, how ready are you?

Crabby

My husband has been complaining about my crabbiness. I'm not really crabby...for the most part. Definitely being home with my kids does not make me a ray of sunshine and the heat bothers me. And lets not get into the fact my bamboo floor is buckling for some unknown reason. Actaully, that takes me from crabby straight to furious.

What I am is distracted. Its how I know I'm truly into my writing. For most of the time, part of my head is somewhere else. I'm scowling for no reason and I am forgetful. It doesn't matter what I do, part of me is in my story. It's misinterpreted as being in a bad mood.

When I'm writing, I focus pretty well, as long as the story is flowing for me. If the flow stops, then I get cranky. Writing becomes painful as does everything else. Then I find something else to do. I know I've said it before but it bears repeating, housework opens up the flow. I'm at about the mid-point of my story and I didn't have the rest of the story plotted out (I don't outline or do any pre-writing stuff) and I could feel my production slow up. I got up from the computer, worked on the laundry, juiced some lemons and worked on the dishes. Suddenly, it came together and I can now see all the way to the end of the book. Now I expect my word counts to increase exponentially until the end of the book as long as real life doesn't interfere.

Where Did the Weekend Go?

Don't you loved those plans which completely fall apart?

I had ambitions to write 7000 words this weekend. I think I eked out about 1000. Saturday started out okay but we ended up taking the crunched truck into the body shop and then headed for a much needed Costco trip. These trips take at least two hours and leave me totally wiped out. It took another hour to put everything away then it was time for dinner. Friday was my FIL's birthday, so my husband grilled him a steak took dinner over to him. With my MIL still recovering from surgery, they couldn't go out to celebrate so we tried to do the next best thing. Saturday night we got together with the rest of the family for cake and ice cream. I got about 500 words done.

Sunday I knew was going to be my day. My daughter had a friend over and that kept my girls entertained. Hubby was out doing yard work. The laundry was under control. Perfect time to write. However, I went to Michelle's blog where she talked about Facebook. When I got over there, I discovered other people like Tori, Bailey and Teresa. I ended up horsing around on that site for awhile.

Ah well, it was fun, but now I really need to focus on my writing this week. I think part of it was I needed a break. But the writing I did do was pretty good and I managed to get through a rough patch.

I posted over at Costco Junkie today. It also appears I fixed the feed on this blog. Not sure how I did it, but it seems to work now.

Catching a New Wave

I don't know, perhaps it qualifies as child abuse, but I have been subjecting my kids to 80's New Wave. I've always been a big New Wave fan, back when it was popular the first time. But this summer it has jumped into being the soundtrack of my summer.


Here we have one of my favorite songs from the era. This video personifies what a good 80's music video should have. Paul King's horrible green suit and spray painted Doc Martens along with his hair just screams 80's to me.

I'm sure part of my attraction is the nostalgia. This music was popular when I was in high school. Not that high school was any great shakes, but certainly I loved the music. Perhaps its the fast beats and the creative use of electronics. Certainly there was energy, it got you moving.

Oddly enough, I enjoyed the rough sound of punk as well. For fun, turn on the Sex Pistols and see what your kids do.

I suppose I love the slick sound of new wave, listening to the over-produced music was like reading a super glossy magazine. A nice way to spend a few hours without applying too much brain power. Maybe that's why I like it, it isn't thinking music, its fun music.

Back To Writing

I've plunged head first into writing again. In the last week I've cranked out about 13K words. Why now?

I've been trying to analyze the reasons. How could I go from a complete standstill to a word-cranker almost over night? It seems impossible to me, but page counts don't lie.

Is it a change in motivation? I don't think so. I've said it before and I stick with it. Writers are always motivated to write. That's part of their frustration, they want to write, crave the opportunity to bury themselves in their work, produce reams and reams of prose. But the distractions of life tend to interfere. I think about writing all the time, I plot stories in my head, spend an inordinate amount of time in daydreams creating characters. But when it comes to execution, I fall flat.

One of my biggest problems is that I'm spread pretty thin. Every year there is a bit more expected of me on all fronts. As a mom, I end up chauffering my kids around to their various activites. I also volunteer in their sports, school and extracurricular activites. I've read articles by writers who tell writers to avoid volunteering because it takes time from their writing. I disagree with that attitude. No book is as important as your family. If you can, spend an hour in your kid's classroom or helping out at a soccer practice once a week. It's not going to completely destroy your writing schedule. You can easily make it up by skipping some t.v. I do tend to volunteer too much for multiple reasons, not all of them altruistic. Its a good avoidance tactic from my writing.

Ah yes, avoidance. If I don't write it, I don't have to worry that its crap. That is a big one. Before I landed representation, I wrote without reservations. I'd had no experience with the marketplace so therefore I didn't feel any inhibitions. That changed when I finally experienced getting my book shopped. It twisted my thinking. It hindered my writing. By finding other distractions, I didn't have to deal with the fact my writing had wilted.

I also let other things overwhelm me. My "can't write in a dirty house" obsession is still there, but not as bad. My house doesn't get quite as dirty since my kids are older. And those three distractions have eased somewhat. The youngest can finally play with the olders without it being a constant fiasco.

My excuses pretty much evaporated. I also realized that I was going to the RWA conference without anything in the queue. I'm not planning on pitching anything, but it would be embarassing to get into a conversation with someone and admit I wasn't working on anything. I'd like to at least say I was finishing up my latest and hoping to have it submitted to my agent real soon. I'm finally comfortable enough to let my muse go and enjoy the writing again without worrying about whether it is marketable. It was marketable before, it will be again. Gotta trust myself moer.

Then there's the agent. I emailed her and and told her I'd have something to her around the end of the month. I'll feel like an utter fool if I didn't deliver.

I've instituted some self-discipline: I haven't played SimCity for week and I only go to TMZ a couple of times a day. Aware that I'm going to get distracted by the kids and house, I don't get upset, I make sure I do something else as well. I have to get up anyway so my back doesn't ache and give my fingers a rest. And finally, I discovered a New Wave staion on iTunes radio and I play it constantly. Nothing like a little synthesizer and drum machine to get the writing flowing.

Cruel Summer Part 2

I was hoping to be in full summer mode by now but we had a couple of things happen.

First, my mother in law ended up in the hospital. Her gall bladder ruptured. Because of her physical condition (she is very heavy plus her lungs are shot and she is on oxygen all the time) surgery was a dicey proposition. It was touch and go there for awhile. Fortunately, she made it through surgery and is doing far better than her doctors predicted. She is home now but the healing process is going to take awhile. I think it has made her take her health more seriously and I also think she realizes now how much she does have to live for.

Next up is the car accident. We bought a brand new F-150 a month ago (if you want a truck, now is the time to buy them, they aren't selling due to the gas prices and you can get a sweet deal). It's a very nice car with this really pretty paint color (desert sand, a rich, creamy metallic color). Last week we took the kids to the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach. It was smooth sailing all morning. The traffic was light going in, the aquarium wasn't very crowded and the kids behaved. They didn't fight and seemed to have a good time. We had a nice lunch and the kids behave liked angels.

Of course this was going to end badly.

We head home. Traffic is a little heavy, it was July 3rd so people were getting out of work early to start their weekend. But it wasn't unbearable. Then it happens. We're in the carpool lane. Two cars in the lanes next to us tangle (I only saw it out of the corner of my eye) and swerved into our lane. Hubby tried his best to avoid the collision but we ended up clipping one of the cars. Honestly, I barely felt the impact, I'm not sure the kids knew what happened. So we all pull off the freeway and have to way for two hours to get it all sorted out. The car we hit didn't get any real damage from us. His car was pretty munched from the initial accident. My truck isn't damaged too badly, but it's enough that it's going to need to be fixed and and have some paint work done. We didn't even have the license plates yet.

What ticks me off about this was I was going to suggest we hang around downtown Long Beach. They have this cute little tourist trap village and I thought it would be fun to wander around and maybe grab a bite to eat. But decided that the last thing we needed to do was get stuck on the freeway in the afternoon. Of course, by the time the highway patrol got to the scene and took their reports, it was the late in the afternoon and we got stuck in traffic going home. Yeah, no one was hurt and that's a good thing, but I'm still ticked. BTW, this isn't the first new car my hubby has banged up. We hadn't had my convertible for a year and he got it nearly totalled. It wasn't his fault, but still. And when his Taurs SHO was new he crunch someone. That was a doozy. Finding parts for that car was a beast.

And finally, I can't find a mophead for my mop. I have a Libman miracle mop and the mophead died. I can't find the replacement. I found it online, but by the time I buy the mophead and have it shipped, I could bought a new mop.

Hope your summer is proving aggravation-free.

Cruel Summer

Summer should be a relief after the last two weeks of the school year. My kids' school takes those last two weeks very seriously. The activities are non-stop. Thing had a big musical production. Her kindergarten class put on a play of Aesop's fables. Very cute but had me running around for a couple of days. There were last minute field trips and book fairs and a "fair" put on by the classes which required parental participation. During all of this, I was also working. The last day of school couldn't come soon enough. This was Supernerd's last year in elementary school and they had a big send off for the outgoing 6th graders. I held it together for the most part until I saw all the other kids crying. His classroom is multi-age with 4,5 & 6 graders. The younger kids were devastated to see the 6th graders go. Some of the little girls were inconsolable. It was really touching to see how close these kids were. And not just girls were crying, the boys were too. I'm hoping these strong bonds will carry over into jr. high, these kids are going to need it.

Anyway, onto the cruel part. As you can imagine, I was so happy for that first day after school ended. And it was nice. Father's Day was coming up and I was hosting. I prepped for the day and was ready to go. Both my husband and Thing got sick that Saturday night. We had to cancel although I'd already defrosted the food I was going to cook. I ended up cooking and sending the food over to my inlaws. Hubby was in bed for two days and as soon as he got better, I got it. It took me all week to start feeling better. Then the triple digit temps hit. While we expect those in August and September, June is a little early. I hate running my a/c. All I can envision is the electricity zooming out of control. Plus, when you don't feel well the heat is even worse.

But it is a new week and the weather has improved. I'm feeling better and hoping to get back into the swing of things.

How's your summer so far?

I'm All About Commitment

...and not always in a good way.

I'm not a committed person. My brain is too scattered to do justice to my obligations. Plus, commitment takes effort. Anyone who is in a relationship or has kids understands that. But its those other obligations we put ourselves under. We writers are always committing ourselves to some writing goal. Moms habitually obligate themselves to some school or sport function for their kids. We make promises at work, pushing ourselves beyond what is required.

And then there are those commitments we make to ourselves which only benefit us. I think those are the hardest to make and maintain. I made the commitment to Weight Watchers. At first it was easy, my enthusiasm carried me through for the first few weeks. But I can feel myself falter. I'm not nearly as motivated as I was before. The fact that I have to pay $40 every month helps keep me somewhat committed. So now I'm committing myself to going to the gym and working out. Not something I adore, but I know if I can get myself committed to that activity, it will strengthen my commitment to weight loss.

My goal is turn those commitments into a part of my life. I want them to be so ingrained that I don't have to work on them anymore. Does that make sense? Why are good things such hard work?

And for something fun, I started a new blog. It's called Costco Junkie and celebrates my slavish devotion to the retail monster.

Long Weekend

Before I was married I used to raise cactus as a hobby. I planted them in big pots and tended them with care. Every time I spent time on one of my cactus pots, my cat would immediately go and lay in one of the pots, heedless of the stickers. It didn't seem to bother him and we thought it was pretty funny. Something so banal as a cactus garden was enough to make him jealous.

It isn't so amusing when your kids act the same way. Those of you who look forward to the end of the toddler years because it means your kids won't need your attention so much are in for a surprise. My kids are 12, 8, and 5. If I want their attention, all I need to do is sit down in front of my computer and start writing. I kid you not, as soon as I would start writing, there they were. Even the 12 year old. And, as I mentioned earlier, I got a Wii Fit. I can count on one hand how many times I've actually gotten to use it. My kids discovered it and won't leave it alone. I don't really mind that they play with it, but every time I go to use it, they hover. They could be upstairs immersed in something, deaf and blind to everything else, but as soon as I plug in the Wii, there they are. I just want to scream.

Yeah, I tell them to go away and they scatter like cockroaches when you turn on the kitchen light, but meander back, making their presence known in the most annoying ways possible. And if it sounds like I'm comparing my kids to cockroaches, please understand, after this weekend, I wouldn't demean the cockroach so.

Hiding myself in a room and locking the door to write isn't really an option. It would simply be an engraved invitation to the Orcs to cause as much trouble as possible. Mt. Vesuvius caused less destruction than my kids can do if unattended.

However, I was still able to write 3500 words. Most of it was done in 15 minute increments, but I'll take them anyway I can. I suppose it is all about adaptability and determination. If I am truly motivated to write, I will find a way to do it.

Weird Weather

Last weekend we were in the triple digits temperature wise. Today...it's 48 degrees and pouring rain. Ughh! I wouldn't mind so much except we have a team pizza party today which we planned to have at the park and this is Memorial Day weekend, a weekend meant for outside activities. Well, at least it gives me another excuse not to clean out my car.

I started writing again today. Nothing like Joely but I got a couple of pages this morning. As I've said, I'm writing on a new laptop which, of course, comes with the trial version of Word 07. I like it...alot. I do have Office 03 which I can take off my old laptop and re-install on my new one, but dang, I like the newer version. I've got 16 more uses so I may have to hustle my butt down to Costco and get the new version of Office. Anyway, I did get some writing done. Luckily, I'm finally in a scene with action and drama and a good looking guy. I'm hoping this weekend will get me some writing time. Not that anyone is going to give me time to write on a silver platter. It is something I have to grab. I wish I had more desire to grab it. I admire those writers who put their writing first. I just don't have that in me like I used to. Maybe it comes from my brief sojourn in having book shopped that took some of the punch out of me. I'm not sure. Or maybe its me. There are so many other things I like to do besides writing. I think I just need to find a balance. There is plenty of room in my life to do what I'd like without denying myself the things I want.

How do you find balance or have you?

I Pity the Fool....

Who doesn't wish Mr. T a happy birthday!!!


Actually, it is the one thing Mr. T and I have in common. I'm sure he has a bigger party than I do. No big plans for me. I'm 41, not a real exciting number. I did get a new cell phone yesterday. I got the LG enV2 and in the day I've had it, I love it. Tonight hubby and I are going out to dinner just the two of us. To have a meal sans children is a gift unto itself. I did buy myself another present. I got the Wii Fit. I pre-ordered it a couple of weeks ago and it is supposed to be delivered today. Can't wait to use it.

So I got what I wanted for my birthday. What should I get for Mr. T? Any ideas?

Blazing

Our weekend was ghastly. Very, very hot. And while I don't mind the heat, I do mind it in May. I expect this kind of stuff in July and August, but not this early. The mercury hit triple digits in my area and I, in my stubborness, refused to turn on the a/c during the day. Actually, my downstairs never went above 77 which I can live with. The upstairs is another story, when I went up there Saturday night, it was 90. During the day, I don't care since I don't go up there and the kids usually hang around downstairs anyway, but at night I caved and turned the a/c on. And just as we acclimate to the scorching temps, they are going to drop back down into the 70's later this week. I think I hate that most of all.

Summertime anxiety is starting to set in. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the kids. I always start with a plan and then it falls apart. Unfortunately, kids are so unpredictable and they are the perfect, shining beings you hope for. I have these fantasies of my kids eagerly participating in educational activities or fun crafts, killing a couple of hours and then it is time for lunch. After eating a nutritious meal prepared by their loving mother, they immerse themselves in outside play for another couple of hours then come in and tidy up their rooms and the toy room, leaving us with an evening for television or video games. The truth of it is that my two girls have the attention spans of gnats and any activity they indulge in loses their interest within 20 minutes. They are clever enough to make their own lunches, ignoring whatever I've suggested. It gets too hot to be outside in the afternoon and they spend the afternoon entertaining themselves by whining or fighting. And cleaning up their rooms and toy room? World War III, everytime. They do spend the evening watching television while I collapse on the couch and drink too much. I don't know what the secret is. I scrounge for fun ideas and try to make things fun for them, but the summer ends up being very disappointing. At least for me. It doesn't seem to bother them a whole lot.

What are you doing with your kids? Does it end up being an enriching, fun time like they show in the parenting magazines or does it end up being a screamfest with you on your knees praying to survive until school starts?

New Laptop

I got a new laptop for Mother's Day. I've been trying to milk mine for awhile, determined to get another year out of it, but I had to admit defeat. Last week the cd-rom drive died. I have an external dvd recorder that I plugged in and it worked fine. But that just solved one problem. I was all set to buy a Dell from Costco but Best Buy has a nice Toshiba on sale. It has 4G of RAM and a decent video card. Alas, I haven't had much time to play with it. And boy oh boy was I cursing myself as I was moving stuff from the old machine to the new. No organization whatsoever. And there was so much junk on my machine that I had no interest in moving but it has been a pain to sort through it. I'm about done.

I also got a really cool watch from Costco. It is a Timex Ironman that controls your iPod. Isn't that cool? Perfect for working out. Now if I'd only get my body to the gym.

This computer has made reading feeds much easier so that solves my problem with having a non-functioning blogroll sidebar. On the other hand, I can't get my feed to work on my own blog. There is definitely an issue I can't resolve and I'm not familiar enough with feeds to do too much. Bear with me, I'm sure I'll get it figured out someday.

Constant Motion

I've been sick for the last couple of weeks. Just a cold, but one that lingers. The constant motion my life has been running at hasn't helped I'm sure. But base ball is coming to a close and Cotillion has ended. My kids get out of school sometime in June (I can't remember when) and Brownies ends with it. But for now, I'm rarely home and when I am home, I just want to flop on the couch.

Not a good combo for a cold but a great one for weight loss. I lost over 10lbs. in four weeks. I'm thrilled to say the least.

My Blogroll sidebar broke. I'm not sure what is the problem but I can't access it anymore from my browser. That and it has lost a couple of links. It has made bloghopping difficult. I'm a creature of routine and it has totally messed me up. How do you bloghop? Do you have a program you use? I'm thinking of going back to bloglines (is that what it's called?)

There is Less of Me

I bit the bullet and finally admitted to myself I was never going to succeed on my own. Oh, I know what's good for me, I know what foods are going to help and hinder weight loss, but putting that knowledge into action has eluded me. So I signed up for Weight Watchers.

I've done this before. In fact, I've done it three times before. And I've succeeded as long as I followed the program. But as soon as I slacked off, the weight came back. So why should this time be successful? Obviously my initial interest in losing weight is for San Francisco this summer. Nothing like a big event to get one motivated. And while I won't be at goal, I should still lose enough to justify new clothes. My health is a concern. Although I don't have blood pressure problems, my cholesterol is high. As I get older, I notice my joints are aging, all the extra weight can't be helping. Being a mom makes me aware of what my children see. I don't want them to hear me preach about eating right and yet ignore that advice myself.

I don't go in for fad diets. I lived with a mother who did that and it did nothing but make her miserable. They never succeeded. She has been doing weight watchers off and on for years and while she hasn't been losing weight for awhile, she hasn't gained either.

Some days are tougher than others. I have to train myself to like vegetables. And drink water. Alcoholic beverages are loaded with empty calories, so I have said goodbye to my regular glass of wine. Which is not to say I've dropped those things entirely.

Its all about choices. What is the better choice at the moment? If I really want the glass of wine, that's fine, but I need to make a choice somewhere else in the day. It works out okay. I miss french fries. I REALLY miss Starbucks. My drink of choice is 3 points, and that's the non-fat version. But I'm working on a new mindset, trying to downplay the importance of those things, replacing them in my priority list with other things like uh, writing.

I'm at the point now where I really need to kick in with the exercise. I'm resistant. Its not the exercise, its the time it takes from my schedule. But if I really want to succeed I will make the concessions.

Is anyone else a Weight Watchers veteran? Maybe we should have our own RWA chapter.

New Toy

Looks like I'll be going to San Francisco in style this summer. This is hubby's new toy. It is a Ford Mustang Shelby GT500, quite a mouthful but a phrase I've been living with for over two years.

My husband is a car guy. The man bleeds Ford blue. I remember the first time I saw his original mustang (a 1988 LX 5.0) I was taken aback by how clean it was. You could eat lunch off the motor. The timing of his wedding proposal to me was linked to the fact he couldn't get a certain car part, so he bought an engagement ring instead. He subscribes to at least 5 "different" car magazines. I put that in quotes because they all look the same to me. He assures me they are unique. Yeah, right.

He's been looking and waiting for this particular car for awhile. When the Shelbys were originally released, the dealers were able to get $25K over sticker. DH will not spend a penny over sticker on any car, it's part of his moral code, like not committing murder or not putting ketchup on a hot dog. So he has had to bide his time.

Finally he found a dealer who would sell it to him at sticker. He flew up to Sacramento Tuesday and drove it home. It was like Christmas morning around here yesterday. I've gotten to drive it once. It was fun but it is wicked fast (not our fastest car, however) and it's 6 speed stick shift. I don't like driving stick.

Anyway, that's our new toy and hubby's drooling obsession can end. Except there is that new Bullitt Mustang.....