In My Head

My book has been titled. My agent has started pitching it and submitting to the editors.

Now it will come out what a no-talent hack I am.

In my head, I know my book is no fluke. In my head, I know my agent wouldn't have signed me if she didn't think the book was worth it. In my head I know I'm a good writer.

But in my heart...That is a different story entirely.

I've always been pretty confident about my writing. I always felt I was a good writer and never had any qualms about sending it out into the big blue world. But now, now that I actually have something on the line, my confidence isn't nearly what it should be. Or what I'd like it to be. In my heart I think this book is a big ol' pile of rabbit crap. I read some of the book again last night and all I saw was the silliness of it, although I have to admit I write a killer love scene. Anyway, all of these things are going through me and I am emotionally shaking like a leaf.

Luckily, I'm not ruled by emotions.

I write from my head. When I'm actually writing, I read with my head. When I submit, I'm using my head (and a great head it is now that it has been properly colored and coiffed). I try to look at my writing with my head, I don't allow myself the luxury of looking at with my heart until it is too late.

Maybe that is the advantage I have in my writing. My head rules over my heart. And maybe that is why the book of my heart hasn't ever been completed.

Enough of that....

So this is the blog, at least for a month, I don't think I could take it for longer than that. Too foo foo, too pink, but it works for a mushy holiday like Valentine's Day. But you can bet February 15 will be completely new. St. Patrick's Day is coming up. I'll go green.

Ants have taken over my house. Damned things are freezing outside so they are moving indoors. They are everywhere, coming into the house in multiple entries. My son says they are in his bathroom, I figure that is a fate worse than death, even for an ant, and I've left them alone. I just don't want them in my kitchen. Extreme temperatures bring them in. And rain. I'm out of my favorite ant poison, the infamous Chinese insect chalk the EPA has been going ballistic over for awhile. That stuff works miracles when it comes to ants.