So I took my daughter back to school shopping at Kohl’s this past weekend. My heart is still trying to recover from the sticker shock. Yeah, I know, Wal-Mart is the place to go, except here the stores are filled with skanky people who don’t bathe and are probably on parole, and that’s just the employees. Also, the clothes would be perfect if my daughter was attending Hoochie Mama Elementary. Target is an option as well only my Targets seem to stock only one outfit per size. Plus, well, they aren’t much cheaper than Kohl’s.
The biggest problem is me, however. I refuse to buy cute clothes for myself. I’m determined not to buy real clothes until I can buy them in a single-digit size. So I expend my fashion sense on my daughter. Of course, our fashion tastes differ. Sometimes I think she inherited her father’s sense of color coordination, or lack thereof. Anyway, we did manage to buy her a passel of cute clothes. It took awhile. I lost her little sister in the toy department. She’s easy to find because she is so freakin’ loud. She never shuts up. And when I told her no on the “Dora the Explorer” house complete with wine cellar and diamond-studded bathroom fixtures, she threw a major tantrum, the kind of behavior makes bystanders give me the “can’t she control her kids?” look. By the way, no, I cannot. I gave up a long time ago.
Anyway, we buy out a chunk of the 6x department then head to the boys section for my son. After 7 minutes, we were done. He’s easy. He likes sweat pants (none of those annoying zippers or snaps to interfere with quick bathroom trips) and the long-sleeved tee shirts that look like there is a short sleeve tee shirt on top. I did buy him a couple of pairs of Levis as well. However, the problem I have with him is that he could wear a 3T in the waist. I swear, the kid gives new meaning to the word beanpole. He’s stick boy. And he eats more than I do. He eats t.v. dinners for snack. I buy him the Banquet dinners that run a $1 a piece and have enough fat grams to satisfy a walrus. And that is just a tweener for him until dinner.
I think we are ready for the first day. My school usually has plenty of school supplies so I don’t need to bother with the usual accouterments. However, the boy decided he needed a desk organizer. My daughter needs a new lunch box, so I’ll have to take her to pick out the proper one. Disney Princess? My Little Pony? Strawberry Shortcake? Barbie? This could take forever. Of course she will then decide to buy lunch everyday. Always happens.