Sunday, April 16, 2006

...and I'm not real wild about kids either

It's 5 a.m. and my eyes open. I long to go back to sleep, but I know my alarm is set for 5:30. I'm tempted, but I know how much worse I will feel when the alarm goes off and I have to get up. The Easter Bunny needs to get up and get her cottontail in gear. My eldest and youngest sleep in, the middle one greets the sun every morning, so I don't have much choice. Blurry-eyed, I get up, frowning at the clouds, wondering if we will get some morning sprinkles. I realize I don't really care. If their Easter eggs get damp, so be it. So I'm out there, the gray light of dawn guiding my way as I hide the Easter eggs. I can't be clever or creative, I have no interest in spending my entire morning hunting Easter eggs, besides, I know in another hour I will forget altogether where I put them.

An hour later, as predicted, the middle child arises and begins a campaign of such annoyance to get the other two up, I'm amazed she hasn't been contracted by the military for counter-terrorism strategies. I've sucked down a cup and a half of coffee at this point and I'm barely awake, dh is even worse. But we finally get to the Easter Bunny festivities. They are over in 5 minutes. You'd think I'd get to sit down and doze? Nope. In 90 minutes my house will be filled with relatives for a brunch I'm hosting.

Brunch went off well although I'm going to restrain myself on making comments about the family. Sigh.... Well, we all have families and they all have their foibles and idiosyncrasies. Some are charming, others are just plain annoying.

Brunch is over and the family has finally left. Now is my time to rest.


First I have to fight the Battle of the Easter Baskets. My mother gives each of the kids an Easter basket loaded with candy. The youngest is determined to get to the baskets. I am forced to move the damned things five times before I find a spot she can't reach.

Second is the Water on the Laptop incident. My middle child decided she had to get her Easter basket and instead of asking me, she tried to get herself, knocking over a vase of flowers and covering my laptop with water as well as my desk, the floor, etc.

Third, I must face the Annoy, Annoy, Annoy tactic. I go lay down on my bed when dh joins me. We aren't there two minutes when the middle daughter comes in and starts bugging us. She wants a sandwich and she will not stop bugging us until she gets it. Since she is harping on her dad, I decide to roll over and ignore them. In 30 seconds the youngest joins us and proceeds to grab my glasses and jump on me. I get out of bed. Time for more coffee.

I moved the couch and try to doze but I'm interrupted multiple times with earth-shattering crises like the Kelly doll who loses her head and the "Can I have some candy?" request. DH decides he needs to go out and wash his cars. I'm finally asleep when he comes blasting in with the youngest asking how he can possibly get anything done AND watch a 3 year old. I'm torn between laughing hysterically and making derisive insults about his parentage. Right now I'm concocting a voodoo spell to curse his cars. I really hope a flock of geese land on them and do their business.

Anyway, hope everyone else's Sunday went smoother. The sun shines tomorrow as my kids return to school and dh goes back to work.

BTW, do you think I could use a hot wheel car for a voodoo doll?