Sunday, April 24, 2005

In Laws....GRRR

Okay, a quick break on the writing discussion to complain about my inlaws. While I do adore them and am very lucky in some respects, they do something that infuriates me.

My SIL will be 40 this summer. She has a couple of bachelor degrees. She lives at home, has never been married and never held a full time job. She suffers from depression and has been in therapy for the last oh, 20 some odd years. Bottom line is she really has no interest in recovery. Why should she? She lives at home rent free, doesn't pay her own bills, hangs out with her buddies and drinks beer, etc. On the other hand, she really has no life to speak of. So she is constantly searching for something. Her new thing is stand up comedy. She took a class and had dove into hit with everything she had. Great, I'm thrilled she has found something she enjoys. Her parents have gone all out for this and attend many of her shows, driving hours away to be present. Isn't that great?


I have 3 kids, two who are involved in youth sports. My inlaws have been to one tee ball game when my son was 4. He's 9 now. They've never been to a soccer game, they've never been to my daughter's tee ball games. Nothing. They live 10 minutes away.

It gets worse. My nephews are involved in modeling and acting. No, they haven't done anything significant, so no one would recognize them. There mother works. So whenever they are called on an audition, my inlaws drop everything and drive the kids an hour or more to whatever thing they have.

Yeah, it frosts my cookies pretty bad. My parents go to everything. They've missed maybe 2 games in all of the seasons of sports. They make plans with my kids and take them places. They enjoy the time.

No, my kids aren't suffering for it. At this point, they don't care. The real ones who will suffer are my inlaws. My kids get so much attention from my folks plus my dh and I are ultra-involved in their activities, I doubt the other grandparents are missed.

But I know, and I do resent it. Not sure how dh feels. I think he is disappointed. Anyway, it isn't a new problem, but I needed to burn it off my chest.


Amy said...

That's too you said, for the ILs. That would grate on my nerves too. Have you ever had one of your kids call up and ask the ILs to come to a game point blank? Maybe that would get their attention.

Rene said...

My son has. They gave him some lame-o excuse. My daughter is so used to not seeing them, she doesn't think about it. My husband always tells them about the games. I'm not sure why. I think he wants to believe they are interested.

I don't understand them. I thought grandparents worshipped their grandkids, I know my parents do. My grandma thought I was the bees knees. I know my husband and I put our kids first for everything. Just as my parents did for me. Ah well, as I said, they will be sorry in the end.

Anonymous said...

You know, same thing happened with my kids. But now they are older and very close to my side of the family. The inlaw's loss. I can't imagine being 10 minutes away and not going to my grandkids games! (though PLEASE, I'm not old enough for grandkids yet!) *g

Rene said...

I have a 23 year old stepson. My hubby got married when he was 19 to his pregnant girlfriend. The marriage lasted the length of a sneeze and my dh had primary custody. My inlaws lavished this kid with attention. Its like they used it up. There wasn't another grandchild until dh and I got married and had my son when my stepson was 13.

I am too young to be a grandmother as well. I can't tell you how nervous I get when my stepson has a new girlfriend. He is a blog entry unto himself *g*

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