Wednesday, April 11, 2007

They Don't Tell You This in "What To Expect When You're Expecting"

I am the first to believe my kids are misbehaving. I have no blinders on when it comes to their behavior because I know what they are capable of. My mindset comes from the fact that I see too many parents who think their kids can do no wrong. They assume their children are angels and will not see or hear anything bad about their kids.

I've always been clear: if there is a problem with my kid, tell me. I'll listen, I want to know. I am more than likely going to believe you. I'm not unfair, but I know my kids aren't perfect and I want them to be likeable and pleasant, so if there is a problem, I want to fix it.

I blogged about a situation back in January about my daughter having problems with another girl and the mother's involvement. While I let the situation go, my manner towards the mother has been rather cool. I don't talk to her beyond a polite greeting. Anyway, damned if this situation hasn't popped up again. Diva never tells me when bad things happen. For her, its like water off a duck's back. She doesn't hold things against people and she has a strong enough ego that the actions of others don't really bother her. However, I do here about things from other mothers whose kids do talk. Apparently the little girl who hosted the pre-Christmas slumber party has been a brat and causing all sorts of drama and my daughter has been the focus of it. The teacher mentioned it to me and has assured me the little girl will be in a different class from the other girls. She and others assure me Diva is the victim in this one.

One of the other little girls hosted a spring break slumber party the other night. When I dropped off Diva, I talked to the mom. The other little girl didn't RSVP (which annoyed the hostess since she planned the party based on the RSVP's) but showed up anyway. When she mentioned this to the mother, the mom said well, since my kid wasn't there, it shouldn't be a problem. When hostess mom said that my daughter would be there, the mom proceeded to tell the hostess how our daughters were sworn enemies and there was going to be problems. Hostess mom, who gets a big high five here, tells her that if there is a problem, she will call her so she can come and pick up her daughter. The other mom was a bit taken aback by that. Hostess mom knows the score and wasn't real thrilled. Diva is one of her daughter's favorite friends and she says Diva is the one child who never says anything bad about anyone else. Anyway, the party went fine, the girls had a good time and there were no problems, no fights and the girls all behaved perfectly.

So here's my dilemna. I feel like the other mother is fomenting trouble. My first inclination is to go on the offensive and have a "chat" with her. I despise this idea that she is spreading trouble for my kid and I'm pissed. My maternal instincts are offended. My rational side says to let it go. We have less than two months left of school. All the other parents who deal with me and my kid (including the teacher) know the score and who is really causing the trouble. To say something to her would be more for my benefit, getting my irritation off my chest. I'm not at my best when I'm emotional.

I really find it hard to believe there is so much drama in elementary school and that parents feel the need to cause more. I expected this kind of stuff in jr. high and high school.

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