I'm sorry, ms, I'm with WIP now

Got another rejection today. Not a bad one, just a form rejection (a little annoying since it was on a full. Four hundred pages and that’s all the agent can say?). Anyway, didn’t really bother me too much. At this point, I am so tired of looking and thinking about this book, my feelings were rather ambivalent. I have one more submission out there and when it gets rejected, I think I will retire the darn thing.

What are we told over and over about the time spent during submissions? Write, write, write. And that is what I have been doing. I’ve written one complete ms, nearly finished another and started a new one. While that is productive, the side affect is that my enthusiasm is for the WIP I’m currently working on, a “love the one you’re with” kind of deal. As time goes by, I find it harder and harder to focus on the other ms. I’ve been submitting it for well over a year now and like a favorite song that has been played to death, I’m tired of it. Miss Snark says a writer should give an ms a 100 rejections before giving up.

Ughhh….. I’m at maybe thirty. To get to one hundred, well, I don’t want to contemplate it.

So I’m keeping my focus on my WIP. Which brings me to a whole new dilemma. This poor story has a couple of strikes against it. One, it’s a historical, and we all know the phrases agents love to throw out about those, and two, it takes place in the mid-18th century, not a particularly vogue time period in romance these days. Jo Beverly did it a few years ago with the Malloren books, but she already was well established before she published those.

But this is the era I enjoy writing about and I like my book. Mentally, I’ve prepared myself for the flood of rejections, but the writing is good and hopefully someone will give it a shot.

Melissa made some great points in her post yesterday. She talked about taking a chance on something new and different, that perhaps this is what the historical market needs. I hope so. I remember when I first started reading romances the historicals were all over the place with regards to place and era. The tide has to turn soon, doesn’t it?

How Little I Have to Whine About

It’s another sunny day in California. Life is going on pretty much as it has all summer. I complain about the kids, the husband, the house and then I read Larissa's blog and nearly fell apart. How trite and inane my problems seem today. How totally fortunate I am to be where I am with my biggest problem being my lack of a/c today.

I’ve been in the situation where I had to evacuate and leave my home behind, wondering if I would come back to find it standing or a pile of ashes. I’ve had to decide which items could be left behind and which couldn’t. I remember sitting in my SIL’s living room realizing what treasured items I’d left behind. My eyes were glued to the television as I saw neighborhood after neighborhood go up in flames in my town and hoping mine wasn’t one of them. Fortunately, because of the courage of one of my neighbors, our neighborhood lost a tree and that was about it.

But this scenario is so much worse. I can’t even fathom the level of despair these people hit by Katrina must feel. I am at a loss as how to comprehend it. But human beings are amazingly adaptable and generous. People across the country are banding together to bring aid to the survivors. I think everyone in this country feels the loss to a certain degree. Perhaps through this tragedy the country can find a common ground and focus on the innocent lives so affected by the hurricane rather than the animosity that has plagued the nation as of late.

Anyway, to help Larissa, please head over to WriteMinded for information. Also, the American Red Cross has a simple donation form. The opportunities to help are limitless. Even the smallest donation can help.

One Week!!!

Only seven more days and I get to kick the Orcs out the door. Oh, I can’t wait. However, the school is in a bit of an upheaval. We lost 5 teachers at the end of the year to various things: one went on to be a principal; a couple went back to school and so on. Supposedly they have interviewed and had prepared to offer the jobs to new teachers. But there is a glitch.

In my school district, you are allowed to choose which school you want your child to go to. Each elementary school has its own philosophy and way of doing things. My kids’ school is the earthy-crunchy granola-eating school. Many of the students are the children of the professors at the private colleges next door. Very eclectic school. The classes are multi-age. My son was in the same class from first through third grade. Anyway, we are unique in the district and suddenly we are very popular. The school is bursting at the seams and can take no more kids. This is not so in the rest of the district. Many of the other schools have had a severe drop in enrollment. The result is that those teachers will be moved to our school. I don’t really have a problem with that; however some of these teachers are coming from schools that have a completely opposite philosophy than ours. A couple of schools are slaves to standardized testing and I worry these teachers will bring these ideas with them.

I’m not a big fan of the standardized tests. My son loves them. And, to brag a bit, he had a perfect score in math and an advanced score in language arts. But I don’t think these tests are gauging all the other great things my son has learned from his teacher. He’s learned so much more than the fundamentals and he has had the luxury of having a teacher who has encouraged her students to explore and incorporate their interests in the classroom.

A Big Thank You….

…for all of your hugs and kind thoughts. I’m feeling much better. I’m sure Tom Cruise won’t be my friend anymore, but I have to say the anti-depressants have made a world of difference. Supposedly the good affects really kick in after two weeks but after a week I can feel a difference.

Writing as a Career

I have to admit, I’m a slug. I do not like work. I’ve never actually had a job I enjoyed. My current job (stay at home mom) leaves plenty to be desired. So when talk comes up about treating my writing as a career, my eye starts to twitch.

Suzanne talked about treating writing like a career on her RTB column. She made some great points. But I hate thinking about my writing as work. I’ve tried scheduling time to write, but I feel the yoke of oppression when I do so. Yeah, I should take it more seriously, but I do not have the ability or inclination to make it my number one priority.

Anyone with small children can tell you that they have a way of making the world revolve around them. They have a sense for when my mind and time are occupied with something else and so they strike. Today my toddler found her milk on the counter, climbed up and tried to fill her own cups with it. I had milk spilled all over the counter plus 4 cups half filled with liquid. This is typical of her behavior. My older ones know when I’m writing because that is when they feel it necessary to get into knockdown drag out fights.

I’m not using these as excuses for not writing, they are just things that take priority over my time. I still manage to get my pages in. I have scheduled my day so that I have certain chores I do on certain days. Today it was the day I clean and mop the family room. It’s done and now I have the freedom to write as much as I want barring my children’s interruptions.

Anyway, for me to think about my writing as a career at this time is a practice in frustration. My family is not going to understand the importance of what I’m doing until I actually sell. Hubby definitely has the attitude that if it doesn’t make me a dime, it must be a hobby. Not a particularly sympathetic way of looking at things, but I think it is a fairly common view from non-writers. He is not going to be real excited to come from a day of work and fix dinner so I can write unless there is a contract involved. And that’s okay; it is just another hurdle to work around.

But it can be done. I think the obstacles in my path make me a more efficient writer. It forces me to focus on each and every word on the page. I do very little in the way of revisions because I don’t have the luxury of going back and making change after change. When I write, it had better be damn close to what I want because my opportunity to make drastic changes could fly out the door at anytime.

A side note…
I’m going to leave the blogger comments on until I can figure out what in the heck is wrong with my haloscan. It’s a bit awkward but feel free to use whichever works for you.

Yahoo Groups

I remember a day when I dreaded opening my email inbox because of the tons of email I received. No, I’m not that popular and I have some pretty nifty spam blockers. But the bulk of it came from addresses containing “@yahoogroups.com.” Funny thing is, when I started blogging, my interest in Yahoo Groups dropped.

I was up to 40 groups there for awhile. Half of them I was “no-mail” but still I was getting a pretty hardy chunk of messages in my inbox. But I found when I started blogging, I paid less attention to the posts. I wonder why that is?

I’ve dropped only a few of my groups, but most of them are on “no mail” or “digest.” Have any of you noticed a change in your online habits since you started to blog? I think maybe it because of how personal blogs are, how reflective of the actual person a blog can be. A Yahoo message is just an email whereas a blog shows off a bit of the blogger’s personality. Since I change my wallpaper so often on my blog, what does that say about me?

On another note….

I debated whether to say anything publicly about this but I’m thinking maybe I should. I have recently started treatment for depression. I’ve noticed for some time now that my life was being affected and it has intensified over the course of the summer. I really don’t want to talk about it here because, well, hell, it’s depressing. So I started another blog, Come From the Shadows to discuss the problem. I figure if I’m suffering from the problem, there are probably tons of other people out there suffering as well. And if discussing it openly helps another person, then I have done the right thing.

TWO WEEKS!!!!!

Two weeks from today I will be taking my kids to school. I absolutely cannot wait. This summer has been a real trial for me for reasons I'd rather not get into here, but suffice it to say the kids really increased the difficulties I've had. I think they will be glad to go to school as well. Their minds are going at such a dizzying rate along with their bodies, they are antsy and bored most of the time. Their favorite activity seems to be plaguing their mother. There are days I feel like a rabid pit bull trapped in cage and these kids are poking me with a stick. Heaven help them if I get out. When I do explode, expanding their vocabulary exponentially in the process, they look at me as if I am an exhibit at the LaBrea Tarpits.

All Your Saturdays Over

All Your Saturdays Over     

It’s August so it must be soccer season.  I have two kids in the sport and for the first time, dh and I are not volunteering.  My dh coached my son two years in a row and assisted the year before.  The first year he was a field instructor.  Last year I coached my daughter’s team and did the team parent duties because I couldn’t get a volunteer from the parents.  I had such a miserable experience last year dealing with politics of AYSO I swore this year I wouldn’t do anything.  Hubby has said the same thing.  Our Saturdays were completely swallowed last year because we spent so much time on the soccer fields.  There was field set up or take down, the actual games and then hubby would have to referee another game.  Luckily my folks live nearby so they could baby-sit my youngest while I was coaching.  But it was a burden.  

So this year we decided we would retire from the volunteer duties.  We went to my daughter’s practice yesterday and the coach was trying to get volunteers.  The woman sitting next to me said, “you coached last year, you should do something.”  

And I said, “why don’t you?”  
“Oh, I don’t know anything about the game.  I don’t think I could help much.”
I just looked at her.
“I guess this would be a good level to start, huh?” she replied.  Later she went up to the coach and volunteered for something.

I’m guessing dh will go ahead and volunteer to field instruct.  The coach managed to get a father to assist, so I think I might be off the hook.  I did tell the coach if she was in a lurch, I’d help out but not in an official capacity.  And this is my plea to you who have kids in sports:  even if you don’t have the time to be a volunteer, try to help out somehow.  If you are at a practice and see the coach trying to coach your child but has to watch their toddler at the same time, offer to take the kid to the playground.  Maybe offer to type up a roster or create a snack schedule.  None of these things take a lot of time but they are invaluable to helping a coach.  These folks aren’t being paid and in many instances have been told that if there isn’t a coach, the kids won’t play (this is happening in my nephews AYSO region right now).

Family of Five Drowns in Ocean of Magazines

Some people collect stamps. Others, coins. Dolls, butterflies, plates are all common collectibles. But not me. No, my family and I seem to collect magazines. Here is a list of mine that I get every month:

RWR
Cooks Illustrated
Martha Stewart's Living
Martha Stewart's Kids (that only comes out 4 times a year)
Martha Stewart's Everyday Food
Cooking Light
Hollywood Life
Entertainment Weekly

I occasionally pick up "Sunset." At Thanksgiving and Christmas time I pick up all the granny magazines like "Good Housekeeping," "Family Circle" and whatever else is out there. Hubby is bad too. He gets at least 4 different car magazines. My son gets a couple of magazines as well. Problem is, I don't read or look at them. Then they start encroaching on our living space. I need to make it a habit when I sit down and watch t.v. to sit and go through the darn things. I end up with piles of torn out magazine pages, but I can throw them in a box and hide them in a closet like the monsters they are. Hubby's are even worse. Typical man, he reads them in the bathroom. You have to fight your way to the shower.

Am I the only magazine fiend? What magazines do you get?

Haloscan Trouble

Is anyone else having problems posting to my blog? A couple of people have mentioned they can't open the comments section.

Oh, one more thing....

For the Paul Anka fans out there, I saw this. I can download it from iTunes for $10, I might have to do that.

She Can Blame Suzanne

Today Suzanne talked about how she forced her children to clean house. I admit, the idea enchanted me. So I gave my fiver year old daughter a rag and some all purpose cleaner and sent her to work on the coffee tables and end tables. Having done that, she moved on to the dining room table and all the chairs. And her reward for all this hard work? I let her cut out my coupons. I hate cutting coupons more than anything but the darling girl has almost a pathological obsession with cutting stuff up. So she was happy, particularly when she found the Chuck E. Cheese coupons.

By the way, I dyed her hair again: Red Copper spirits. It looks awesome, people keep asking if its natural. I also put the dye on the two year old's head. She is a blonde so it makes her look like a fireball. She loves it. I'll post pictures later. They look really cute.

The Demon of Self-Doubt

The incubus itself crouched on my chest last night, its weight pressing all of my confidence out of me. I received a rejection letter last night that left me devastated. I won't go into the specifics, just that it was a bad one, my first.

The demon is one of my own making. I've been rejected before and will no doubt get rejected again. For the most part, the rejections have been encouraging. But this one was vile. So what do I do? I ignore all of the good things that I've received about writing, all of the positive comments and focus on this one crummy rejection.

No one can make us unhappy unless we let them, no one can shake our resolve unless we let them. And I let this one person make me question my talent and my ability to write.

Luckily, I've been through this before and I can get myself through it. The positive is it makes me really look at my writing and decide why I am doing this. I get upset enough that I want to focus on my writing and damn the market place and the movers and shakers of such.

My point is to those who are new to submitting, it will get ugly, but you have to decide how much you are going to let it shake you. How badly do you want to write? Go ahead and throw yourself a pity party, mine consisted of two Tecates, a glass of wine and numerous Reese's peanutbutter eggs I found leftover from Easter. But realize the only one that can make you quit is yourself. If you let anyone else dictate your desire to write and your drive to accomplish publication, you have no one else to blame.

The Whining-Writing Connection

I realized after all my whining this week about not being able to write and how rotten my kids are and how I want to quit, I've managed to write about 3K words. I would probably have gotten more done but I had to research Palladian architecture. For those interested, I've got some nice Georgian architecture links I'll post over at the "Age" blog later today.

So I wonder what magic whining does to get me to write?

I'm playing with Haloscan. Suzanne mentioned over on Kacey's blog about it, so I'm giving it a try.

World in My iPod

Suzanne talked about her favorite room in her house today on her blog. I have a favorite room, but my opportunities to escape there are few. But I do have my iPod.

I love this thing. The sound quality is so wonderful and it is so easy to carry, it makes listening to music so much more accessible. Quite often, it is my only escape during the day. I plug myself in and tune out everything else. I work on my dishes, fold laundry, mop floors, any number of household chores with my earphones on. Usually I am somewhere else in my head, the music effectively blocking out the world. My thoughts usually dwell on my WIP. Unless its Gwen Stefani playing, then I stop and start singing. It's ugly and the children run crying for their rooms. But for the most part, the music carries me to someplace else.

I have 368 songs on my iPod right now. The artists range from Guns n Roses to Joan Baez, k.d. Lang to Enya, usually I can find something to fit my mood.

No, my escapes aren't temporal, but I think the beauty of being a writer is the ability to use the mind to create a world within. We always have a favorite "room" within our heads.

The Long and Winding Road

So Kelly and Kacey have started the "writer's journey" blogfest.

I'm not sure there is anything a writer likes more than to talk about how they're own journey began or where it is leading. We do so love to talk about our writing. And I am absolutely no exception.

I didn't seriously start writing until 2001. Suddenly I felt the bug as it were. I went to about.com's romance writing site (it wasn't "about.com" then, I can't remember what it was called) where I got my first cp who is now author Lydia Joyce. She really kicked me from amateur hour to taking my writing seriously and working hard on it. Then I discovered Romance Central and got involved in the forums where I am still active and I met Melissa. The webmistress, Becky Vinyard has been an amazing font of wisdom and support, encouraging me when I wanted to quit. I also joined RWA. I love my local chapter (OCC/RWA)and my online (KOD). I love the blogging community.

Right now, I feel like I'm a difficult spot professionally. I've got an ms that I've been querying for over a year. It keeps getting requests and I'm still submitting. I've really only queried about 25 different agencies, pretty small number considering. In the meantime, I've kept writing and now have another finished book and am 1/4 of the way through another.

The other challenge is the homefront. Trying to balance writing with being a mother, wife, soccer coach, baseball coach and all the other stuff that fills the life of a SAHM suburbanite can be frustrating. I did dump the coaching duties. You think romance writing is a challenge? Try dealing with the BoD of your local AYSO region.

Sometimes I quit. Like a diehard smoker, I swear I'm never going to write again. I'm going to be a reader and that's it. The longest I've gone without writing in the last 4 years is about 2 weeks. It is a compulsion I cannot stop. I can't imagine that I will ever quit, as long as the characters in my head are trying to escape.

Diet Coke

I love Diet Coke. It is my drink of choice. It beats our wine, beer and sometimes martinis. But Coca Cola has been doing some funky things lately. First, I accidentally bought Coke Zero. YUK! It was terrible. It tasted like regular Coke which I do not like. Then I tried Diet Coke with Splenda. Blech, that stuff was nasty. I am a purist. I do not like Diet Coke with Lime, Lemon, or (shudder, shudder) vanilla. Occasionally, when I am feeling exotic, I will drink Diet Cherry Coke.

However, all of the above are better than Pepsi. I'd rather drink hamster urine than Pepsi (although I'm not sure they aren't the same thing).

So what about you? Are you persnickety when it comes to soda? Are you a Coke drinker or firmly in the Pepsi camp? Is there anything worse than vanilla cherry Dr. Pepper?

Sibling Rivalry

My children have spent the entire summer fighting. All day long it is a litany of complaints and demands. I'm real tired of it. But the sibling they seem to have the most trouble with is the one on my PC.

It never fails, as soon as I sit down to write, they pop up like rapid prairie dogs, tattling or asking for something. My five year old, seeing me with my eyes glued to the screen, will start up a conversation about totally inane things with the only goal being to distract me. My son will come down and ask me how to play a certain computer game or tattle on his sister. The two year old is more insistent. She climbs on my chair and clings to my throat.

Why are they so jealous of the time I spend on my WIP? They don't bother me if I'm doing something else on the PC, but it seems like they have a sense when I'm writing. Perhaps it is my beleaguered imagination, but I don't think they like the idea mommy has something of her own that does not center around them. My husband has said he doesn't like me to write at night when he is home. I can live with that. But my kids do not have that say in my life. I'm hoping as they get older they understand.

I think being a stay-at-home mom has created a situation. They have me here 24/7 and being the centers of the universe they are, they honestly see me as their private property. They own me like they own their toys or anything else. In their mind, my life should revolve around them. Do they ever grow out of this?

Okay, So They Both Wear Weird Gloves

Thanks toSuzanne and Tori for putting a damper in my day, I had to investigate this nefarious "Johnny does Michael as Willy" accusation. Apparently this is a widespread concept. I didn't see the connection myself, but I'm a little biased when it comes to Johnny. Anyway, MSNBC thought it merited a story so here is the link: Depp surprised by Jackson comparisons.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Yesterday I took a second out on the house and packed the kiddies up for the movies. It cost $20 for three of us to get into a matinee! It was another $20 at the snack bar. Ah well....

The movie was great. It is nothing like the Gene Wilder film. I'm not saying it is better or worse, just different. Of course, I grew up on the original so it has special meaning to me. But the new one with Johnny Depp....excuse me, I'm having a Johnny moment. I have a lot of these. Anyway, Johnny...man, there I go again...is very good. He does "oddball" so well. Freddy Highmore, the boy who plays Charlie, is soooo cute. I want to adopt him. It is definitely a Tim Burton film, so it has a dark feel to it, but my kids got a real kick out of it. The sets are cool and Johnny...sigh...does such a good job of being weird and childlike at the same time. I will definitely be picking this up on DVD when it comes out. My 5 year old daughter has decided she wants to be Veruca Salt. Hmmmm......


Other things of note...
I posted an article I wrote about the joy of writing a query letter over on the Villa in Tuscany blog. So if you are looking for yet another query letter writing article, there you go.

Another Controversy

The hot stuff I found while blogging today was the whole RITA/GH ceremony fiasco. I wasn't there, so I don't feel I can comment either way with regards to the appropriateness of the program. But hoohaa it has unleashed has certainly been interesting. Having a "National Enquirer" mentality, I've scanned through the various blogs ad nauseum getting little else done.

And that is my concern. Every year it seems RWA has a controversy that THREATENS TO TEAR APART THE ORGANIZATION. It never does. We get through the latest fiasco and things move on. But they do not move forward.

We are an organization of what, 9200 members? That's a sizable group. Our genre has over a billion dollars in sales every year. We are the big chicks on campus. We want respect. We want to be considered serious writers. How serious can we be taken when our infighting is so publicly displayed? When Nora Roberts says she considered resigning from the organization and makes it public, what does that say about us?

Besides being embarrassing, the internal battles are non-productive. While the board and the membership are arguing back and forth on what should be on the cover of a book, we have authors suffering severe financial crushes because they are uninsured and have life-threatening illnesses. While everyone is screaming up and down about the definition of romance, an unpubbed author is having her dreams destroyed by a huckster posing as a legitimate publisher or agent. We as an organization have real power and we are wasting it on inane squabbles that eventually go away, leaving people bitter but no better off.

I blame myself. No, I didn't come up with the Tiananmen Square/"Don't Worry, Be Happy" montage. I didn't vote. I got my ballot, put it aside and completely forgot about it. I did not take it seriously enough to devote 15-20 minutes to read through the candidates and make a decision. I can hardly complain about the current board since I didn't exercise my right to vote and decide who should be there. This has been a lesson learned and I will most definitely pay attention when elections roll around again.

Six Feet Under

Okay, I was going to blog about other stuff, but last night's episode blew me away. I remember when I started watching the show, the first two seasons were amazing. As a writer, I truly appreciated their no-holds-barred approach to conflict between their characters. The last couple of seasons have been kind of dull and less than brilliant, but this season has really been wonderful. Last night was awesome and the makers of the show truly showed no fear in the conflicts and story lines. I don't want to say too much in case there are those who haven't seen it yet. I'm going to miss the show when it is gone. But "Rome" is coming this month and it looks pretty gritty, so I will at least have that to watch.

Lost in the Valley and Other Unpleasant Things

My husband has a Ford Taurus SHO. It is basically a supped up Taurus with a special engine. Ford only made a few of them and we, lucky souls, have one. Anyway, there is a problem with the cams where if they aren't fixed, the motor will blow up. Ford refuses to recognize the problem so owners are forced to find mechanics who specialize in the repair. Yeah, yeah, this is boring but there is a point. One of these magic men lives in the San Fernando Valley, about an hour from my house. So we packed up the tribe and took his car out there. He wrote down the directions and I made a copy. Stupidly, I did not ask him to clarify his directions. So off we go on the myriad of freeways to get to this guy's house. I misread the directions and took a different freeway. I ended up going 14 miles out of my way. What's worse is the freeway I was on was jammed and I wasn't moving. The kids were okay, I've got a dvd player in the car. I figured I was lost and called hubby. He didn't answer. Here is what makes me the total idiot: since I was at a standstill, I decided to...put the address in my GPS system. Golly, seems I really was lost. Yes, I have a GPS and didn't use it. DUH!!!

Finally got my self headed in the right direction. Hubby calls, he forgot to take the phone out of his car and keep it in his pocket while he was busy talking cars with fellow car dudes. After this whole fiasco, we decided to go out to lunch. My son thinks Denny's is haute cuisine so we go there and have the waitress who speaks no English and messes up the order. I'm finally home but I have a trip to Costco planned with the three kids in tow. I'm a glutton for punishment.

Writing is going well, I am up to 20K words on my WIP, but I have discovered why we always have maids and footmen in romance novels. I spent a chunk of the day researching water systems in 18th century London. It would have been much easier to have just ordered the servant to bring it up and not worried about it. But I get a bug in my brain and I can't let it go. I did figure out the wealthy of London all had water piped into their homes, but from there I couldn't figure out what else happened. Did she pump it with a pump? Did she turn the knob on her Delta nickel-plated faucet? I am still unsure. However, there seems to be an obsession with toilets and sewage amongst scholars. I learned far more than I would have liked about 18th century cesspits. I don't know about you, but my romantic novel characters don't need to go to the bathroom. Bathrooms are there so they can have sex in the shower or look in the mirror.

Some Progress

I got three pages written yesterday which wasn't nearly as much as I'd hoped for. Historicals go so much slower for me. Not only does the research cause me to pause, but I also need to choose my words more carefully to avoid anachronisms. I must say, however, writing about the 18th century is easier than writing about the Regency period. For me, the language of a Regency novel is so important. By the time Britain hits the Regency era, there is a lot more enchantment with language. The literacy rate had climbed and people had more leisure time to indulge in the niceties. When I write Regency era, I focus on the words and the rhythm of the sentences, trying to give it more of a feel of the era. In an 18th century story, the language isn't as big of a focus, at least from my point of view. The social structure is different and the upper class was still growing. I'm more interested in the "wildness" of the times.

I'm hoping to get some more writing done today. I've got a big scene coming up and I can't wait to write it. Hope everyone else sees some progress today.

Who should be the next Bond?

Clive Owen

Here is my vote. I really think he's swell. I sat through "King Arthur" just to watch him. Oh, okay, I wanted to watch Ioan Gruffudd too. I spent more time than I should have thinking about Clive Owen than working on my WIP today. But maybe it is because my hero reminds me of Mr. Owen. Hmmm.....

Yeah, I didn't get much done on the writing front today. I did a little research. My problem was how to end this particular chapter. I am all for kicking my heroine when she's down and figured out how to do it in the car today dropping off my kids. Then I got home and got busy doing other stuff (and thinking about Clive Owen).

In the "Good Things" category, I entered the Romance Junkies contest and my entry is up this week. I received two emails from readers last night complimenting me. I got fan mail. Maybe I should frame it.

My kids are at science camp tomorrow morning and my folks are picking my baby up to take her shopping at the
The Container Store with them, so I figure I'll have a couple of hours of peace to work on my WIP.

Missing the Big Dance

Feeling like Cinderella here. All the cool kids get to go the RWA conference this week and are no doubt going to have a blast. Sigh....those of us who aren't going, feel free to indulge in self-pity. Eat that piece of chocolate, take seconds on the pie.

Then get over it.

As Suzanne discussed in her column at RTB, it is a good time to write. So, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to treat this week like a BIAW and pour my disappointment at not going into a steaming hot flood of creativity.

And dream of Atlanta next year....

Breaking My Cardinal Rule

One reason I write romance is because of the chance it offers to sweep me away from the drudgery of my daily life to a world of glamour, adventure, beauty and...NO CHILDREN. My one rule to my writing, no matter what the genre, is the exclusion of children. People just emerge on the scene fully formed and attractive at age 21.

Sigh...My new WIP requires the heroine to do something she would otherwise never do. A woman will sacrifice all for her children, so I had to write a couple of them in. Those of you with children know we end up sacrificing big and little things in the name of motherhood. And why, I ask? Because they appreciate it?

I think biology does something to us. Maybe the placenta releases a self-sacrificing hormone into our bodies that makes us do bonehead things to make our children happy. How many times have you skipped a show you wanted to watch because the crumb crusher wanted to watch "Teletubbies?" Are you driving your dream car? I kind of doubt when we were 16 we dreamed of driving a big SUV or Dodge Caravan. Heck, with what I paid for my Expedition, I could have gotten a Jag "S" Class. Shall we get into our writing and how family life has affected our writing? Too depressing to think about?

So I shall see how this kid thing pans out in my book. Shudder, shudder.


Bears...

Jill Shalvis isn't the only one with a bear story. The following appeared in my very local paper:

In this heat wave, everyone needs a little cooling off. For a couple of bears spotted recently in north Claremont near Blasidell Ranch, a refreshing dip in the pool is just the thing to bring the temperature down. Lt. Van Horn reports that some bears have been seen ambling into residents' backyards, taking a swim in the pool, and then moving on to the next neighbor's pool.

"We're just waiting for someone to call us because he's sitting in a Jacuzzi, drinking a beer," said Lt. Van Horn

The neighborhood they are talking about is half a mile from my house. I do not have a pool, but I do have a Jacuzzi and beer.

There is Hope for Him Yet

My son has on his screen saver "Super Nerds Only." My son is a geek, a nerd, etc., etc. and is very proud of the fact. He just finished the third grade and had a whole year of perfect report cards. His favorite part of the school year is when they have to do standardized testing. He wears glasses and has asthma. His fashion sense is non-existent. Classic nerd.

Maybe he is on to something. Is it hip to be square?

I saw a story in the paper yesterday which indicates he may be the future style-meister of his generation, Chic to be Geek. Could we be entering an era where brains and talent are valued over beauty and brawn? Instead of being a stupid movie, was "Revenge of the Nerds" a prophetic piece of cinema? Will cheerleaders fight to go out with the president of the chess club? Will boys be more interested in a girl's SAT scores than her bra size? It boggles the mind.

A Blessing and a Curse

When I start writing something that clicks with me, I go into a groove. It consumes me, fills my thoughts, dominates my life. I'm going through it right now. The historical I'm working on is flowing with incredible ease. So I should just ride the wave, right?

Problem is I've got this whole "family" thing going. I have a house and 3 kids requiring my attention. The ms on my screen calls to me constantly and I find myself thinking about it all the time. I'm paying for it this morning as I run into messes the kids made while I wasn't paying attention. Also, my back is in agony from sitting in a chair for so long.

The beauty of my "groove" is the value of the writing. I find the quality is far superior to a book I've "scheduled" myself to write. I can see the difference in the flow and its obvious it is a book from my heart.

So, the family will be neglected somewhat for the next couple of months while I work on this book. Hopefully they won't burn the house down.

And, taking a ride on my roller coaster writing career....

I got a request for a full Friday night. I need to steal a ream of paper from dh's office tomorrow and print it out.

But What ELSE Do You Do?

I went to a cocktail party last night. It was held at a hotel which overlooks the ocean and had all the food and alcohol one could hope for. These events are always awkward for me. I love the food and the drinks, but I feel uncomfortable in these situations. First, I'm only 5'3" and I get pushed in crowds. I can't see and I have a difficult time maneuvering around the masses (there were probably 300 people in attendance). After being home in semi-isolation for the last 3 1/2 years, I've lost my poise amongst people. I have no idea what to wear or what to talk about.

This event is particularly discomfiting. Everyone there is involved in real estate in some form or another. Everything is about the deal. When someone meets you, they are judging whether they can use you to get ahead. Upon realizing I'm not a member of the industry, they quickly exit. Its not necessarily a bad thing because these people tend to be interested in one thing: money.

At one point in the evening I sat down with a piece of cheesecake at one of the cute little tables surrounding the fountains. My husband deserted me to talk business with a client. A woman sat down at the table and asked me who I worked for. When I explained I was a SAHM, she asked me what else did I do. Certainly I must do something else. I was a little shocked. You mean being a mom to 3 kids and taking care of a house isn't enough? I suppose I could have said I was a struggling writer and talked about my writing, but I really didn't want to. I know when I've talked about my writing before, I've seen eyes glaze over in boredom.

It is amazing how low down on the social food chain stay-at-home-moms are. What a wake up call.

Well, the food was good and the drinks free, so I'm not one to get too worked up. I did learn some lessons. Women who are 45 really shouldn't shop in the Jr.'s section, they look ridiculous. Too much sun makes a woman look like shoe leather. If it weren't for cell phones, some people wouldn't know how to talk.

Oh, I wanted to add...

In relation to my post about losing and finding my writing mojo (thank you ladies for all of your good thoughts), I saw this post by Olivia and thought she more eloquently said what I was feeling.

...and so a little rain must fall

Got a rejection yesterday in the email. Not a bad one, just a standard "not enough enthusiasm" or whatever. Also got my historical entry back from the Molly. One judge liked the writing but thought the plot had problems. I guess the other judge did too but her comments were more generic. One problem I have with contests is that the judges seem to think all questions needed to be answered in the first 30 pages. If I answered all the questions in the first 30 pages, what would I do for the rest of the 370? The one judge, however, really spent some time on it and gave three pages of notes. Her comments were balanced and logical. She put into words problems I knew I was having but couldn't figure out. I'm going to send her a thank you note since she really took the extra time to give an honest judgment. BTW, this was the historical I abandoned.

So I get my rejection and my Molly scores, not a great day so far. Then I start vacuuming my room. The vacuum doesn't work. I had to take it apart. I get out the Phillips head screwdriver and dismantle part of it, realize it needs to have another section taken apart and when I flipped it around, I found it needed a star head screwdriver. That was enough to send me running for Starbucks and a green tea frappacino.

I'm going to a party tonight so I decided to look for something to wear. GRRRRR.... Nothing fit. Or it looked awful. I'm quite busty. So if it fits in the rest of my body, its tight around the chest. So I didn't buy anything. Did get my hair colored back to its "natural" red, so the day wasn't a total waste.

Back To It...

For the last couple of weeks I've been really struggling with my writing. The desire to write seemed to have disappeared. I could see it coming, fought it like a banshee, but in the end, I had to let go. I've had these episodes before. They've lasted as short as 2 days up ten years. This one lasted about a week. Over the weekend I re-started a WIP.

I think my problem is developing myself as a writer. I see my voice, like it, but am convinced it needs to grow. I read my writing, think its good, but I know I can do better. It's an uphill battle. But I know I won't be happy unless I put the effort in and make it a little tougher. But damn, I don't feel like expending the energy. But I will.

So I started a historical. It takes place in 18th century London and is based on the criminal element of the era. It is going to be a great deal of work, the story is dark, the conflicts darker and the research extensive. I'm not very far, but I can see where its going and I'm happy. Sitting down at my keyboard today, I open a new document and start writing a new WIP entirely. This one is a romantica suspense that takes place in contemporary L.A. I don't know where it came from, but I'm writing it more for my amusement than anything else. Writing historicals is like a pressure cooker for me. They are work, not only do I have the research to worry about, but I need to "translate" my voice into a tone appropriate to the story. To relieve the pressure, I work on something on the side, something fun and completely different. The last time I did this, the "fun" project took over and that's the one I've been submitting. Oh well, whatever works.

speaking of submitting, I received a request for a partial today. I had totally forgotten I'd queried this agent. Of course this agent wants a totally odd number of chapters, so none of my pre-printed partials will work. Thank goodness I got a laser printer.

Sugar Plum Princess and Hula Honey

This is Katie with her purple hair.





This is her two-year-old sister Allison.

Christmas in July

One of my favorite summer traditions is the clearance sales at Target. In July, they go through and clearance tons and tons of stuff. Not just the summer stuff either. They clearance a bunch of the toys: Barbies, My Little Pony, Fisher-Price, all that kind of stuff. They had their hoochie-mama dress up stuff on clearance so I got some of it for my daughter. I pack it up and save it for her birthday (November) and Christmas. The only potential problem I find is I forget what I bought. My MIL still has a closet full of My Little Ponies because I forgot them last year. Still, it's a good deal.

Katie asked to get her ears pierced. I don't have a problem with that except I worry she won't keep the earrings in the requisite amount of time and she will end up with infections. Also, she can't wear earrings in soccer. So we decided she can get her ears pierced for her birthday when she turns six. She also wants to dye her hair pink. Her dad gave the okay. Hmmm.... Anyway, I picked up to dyes at Target. One will streak her hair fuschia. It has peroxide in it, so it means its going to be there for awhile. The other is a color that will last 8-10 shampoos, but it isn't as vivid. Not sure what to do. I'll probably go with the latter. Her hair doesn't grow real fast and I would hate to see her stuck with a color she didn't like for a long time. But she is girl of strong self-expression, so we shall see.

Voice

I started writing when I was about 12 or 13. I remember sitting the jump seat of my folks' Datsun king cab pick up and scribbling away while we navigated across southern California looking for the perfect rattan furniture. As I passed from high school to college, I kept writing, all of it terrible and pointless.

Or so I thought.

I took a hiatus from reading and writing romance. It lasted about, hmmm, ten years. I was too busy working, dating, partying with my friends, living the life of a 20 something in L.A. Wish I could remember it ;). Anyway, after my second child, I got the urge to write again and dove back in with true commitment. My first endeavor was pretty crappy, but it was a complete ms. As bad as it was, I was told by kind and gentle contest judges I had a "lively" voice. I had no idea what that means (I still don't) and it took me awhile to see my "voice." So where is this leading?

About a week or so ago I was doing some filing in my writing file box when I ran into the last WIP I worked on back in my early 20's. The ink is faded and the perforation separating each page is falling apart. Streamers of paper hang from it because it was a dot matrix document and it ran through a roller. But for a hoot I picked it up and started reading. Whoa! I found narrative using the exact same language as what I use now. The structure was the same, the "voice" of the story was easily identifiable as my own.

It was a humbling and exciting discovery. I think as writers we really worry about our voice and finding it. But sometimes, I think, it is there, we just don't see it. It's comforting for me to know I have a voice and it can be "seen" by a reader. It gives me one less thing to worry about in my writing. I recommend to any writer struggling with the concept of voice to go ahead and read through old material, even if it reeks beyond all imagination. You may not be able to put a description to it, but it is probably there. And it will remind you how truly valuable those first attempts are and how nothing is ever pointless when you are writing.


And now for the IMPORTANT stuff...

BEAUTY AND THE GEEK last night was awesome. Talk about a train wreck. I loved it. Chuck and Rich were at there most obnoxious and Scarlet....wow, that's one feisty beer spokesmodel. Cannot wait for the big finale next week.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

I'm supposed to be writing. I've started a couple of stories trying to see which one strikes my fancy. The one I'm working on right now has a woman realizing their is little hope of rescuing her son from vicious kidnappers. Pretty sad, eh? So why am I laughing like an idiot?

I turned on this movie The Lost Skeleton of Cadvra. It is a parody of 1950's monster movies. This movie is so funny, the dialogue is just classic.

Kro-Bar: Yes, it is different this earth as it is called but then are we of the planet Marva as we call our planet not also strange and different to this planet and its people also?
Lattis: You think the earth people think we are strange, you think? It is strange how the ways of different people on different planets differ.

This is typical of the movie. If you get a chance, look for it.

On Another Note...

I had to get my tire fixed. I somehow ran over a screw and a nail. The tire store repaired it for free. Unfortunately, the tire store is across the street from a Barnes and Noble. My girls picked out a couple of books and I got "Johnny Tremaine" for my son. I wasn't going to buy anything because I knew I would be going to the bookstore tomorrow. But a book jumped out at me, it's sparkling glow begging be to pick it up, crying for me to buy it. So I got The Beast Within by Suzanne McMinn. :)

Home Improvement Princess

This is Daddy's Pride & Joy. Katie insists on participating in home improvement projects with her dad. So he painted an old tool box neon pink and got her a tool belt. This kid can't read, but she knows when to use a Phillip's head screwdriver. Today she stained a table and chair set she and her dad made out of old logs.


She is truly a Renaissance Girl. She loves getting dirty and working in the garden. She likes building things with her tools. When it comes to sports, she likes to compete and out-hit most of her male teammates in tee ball this year. At the same time, she likes cheerleading and looks at "Vogue." One of her favorite games is "hairdresser" and wants to paint her nails all the time. Before school in the morning, she would get out her clothes, lay them on the floor and create new outfits, deciding which was the cutest. She truly takes joy from all life has to offer. I hope she can maintain that elan through her adulthood. If she does, I think she will be unstoppable.

I Just Don't Love It Enough

So I've been trying to finish my historical with little success. My friend read it and said she wanted to smack the heroine. After getting more of her opinion, I had to agree. I chatted with Melissa about it and we came up with a good ending to make my heroine pay for her stupidity. It got real complicated. Then I realized I just didn't care. I don't "love" it enough (anyone receive that wording a rejection letter?). Of course I have to come to this conclusion on page 362.

It isn't a bad book. I think it is well-written but the characters mean nothing to me. I really don't care what they do. I don't care how they feel. It's my own fault for not catching this earlier. I have spent many, many months on this book with little progress. I could never envision this book on a bookshelf. When the little voice tries to get my attention, I should probably listen. So it will be filed away on the old hard drive until I get an urge to use it for something. But I have no inclination to keep working on it. I have a couple of other ideas ready to burst out, one I already have the query letter written in my head.

I worked so hard on the mechanics and the research, I forgot to put in my passion.

Blame it on the weather...

I'm on page 360 of my historical. I can taste the end, smell the HEA as it rises from my laptop. So why can't I get myself going?

I blame the weather. My mind moves on to different stories. Summertime is the time for adventure. For stories that take place on a tropical island. Stories with hot temperatures.

I thought of an idea on the way to pick up my kids from daycamp yesterday. I plotted it from beginning to end, found the black moments, characters, etc. in the time it took me to get the kids and get home. I wanted to dive head first into this new story.

But I must remain faithful to my historical. I'm almost done. I find it difficult to write about a woman in a corset when a chick with a miniskirt is winking at me. How do I keep interest in a guy with a cravat when a stud in a sportscar is waving madly from across a hot parking lot?

I guess this is when self-discipline kicks in. Nose to the grindstone.

In another vein...

If you are truly bored, try taking on Darth Vader at Sith Sense

Happy Father's Day

I complain about my husband often in my posts because, well, that's what he's there for. But he is a rather remarkable person, especially when it comes to his kids.

My husband became a husband and father for the first time when he was 20. At the time, he had grand plans to go college and law school. But he made a commitment to his new family. However, he never gave up his plans. So he worked full time, went to school and helped take care of his son. The marriage lasted the length of a sneeze and he became a single father. He took primary custody of his son. So, he worked even harder and continued with his schooling, devoting himself to making a better life for him and his son. He finished his AA and fought with the law school to let him in. They didn't have any rules on the books saying a four year degree was required for entry and my husband used the loophole. While going to law school, he continued to work at a day job but still made sure he had time for his son.

When I met him, his son was 11. He hired me to be his secretary (isn't that cute?) and he gave me certain rules. If his son called, interrupt at all times. He left the office by 3:30 on Tuesdays for his son's baseball practices. He always left the office by 5:30 so he could get home to be with his kid. His child always took top priority. When we got married and started having kids, nothing changed, in fact, he is even more stringent about his time rules.

He is out of the office no later than 5:30. He has been blasted by other lawyers because he refuses to work after 5:30. He has always coached our kids' sports teams, so there are weeks where he leaves even earlier to get to practice and games.

He does not go out with the guys except for the occasional poker game on a Saturday night every other month or so. When he comes home, he is either playing sports with the kids, pushing them on the swing, taking the girls for a ride in the powerwheels Barbie car, playing a video game with our son, watching a kiddy movie or playing a board game. He has an endless well of patience with our kids, one I wish I had even a tenth of.

I have never seen a person more devoted to the happiness of his children. He planned our yard with them in mind. When we got married, we killed ourselves buying a house in the city we live in so his son could be in a great school district. No sacrifice is too great for his kids.

He spoils them, but they are genuinely happy. They are secure knowing they have a father who thinks they are the greatest humans in the world. I only hope they appreciate it and, when they become parents, try and emulate him. It would be the best Father's Day gift they could give.

Happy Father's Day everyone.

Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On

While sitting on the couch chatting with Melissa today, my house started to shake. We had an earthquake. Not a big one, but enough to knock a few things around. I opened my cupboards and found a few things tilted. Hubby reported stuff fell from his shelves. I'm about 50-60 miles from the epicenter, so I'm sure folks in the desert felt it a lot more. Here is a link to the earthquake page and you can see how many earthquakes we get in this area: USGS earthquake map.

Now if that isn't moving enough, hubby talked to a contractor who says he can remodel our kitchen in two weeks. I'd counted on the project taking 3-4 mos. but he thinks he can do it much quicker. I'm pretty excited. Oh, of course we have figured out the price.... That I am not excited about. There will probably be another earthquake when I see the estimate and my jaw drops to the ground.

Friday, the Fun Begins....

The ominous words were uttered by my 5 year old last night. Today is the last day of school. As of 12:30 tomorrow, all three of my kids will be underfoot. Sigh...

Usually I spend the summer screaming at the top of my lungs. My kids see summer as their time to drive their mother to apoplexy. But this year. I'm going to be organized. I'm going to plan. I swear it.

We live within driving distance of some awesome museums. I'm going to take them this year. I realized at the end of summer last year, the poor kids got to do nothing. So this summer I'm going to strive to do things differently. We have year-long passes to Legoland. There is no reason I can't take them. I'm going to take them to the "club" so they can play with their friends while I workout and get some writing done.

My biggest hurdle is my house. I hate it when my house is dirty. But I find my need for a clean house dominates everything else. I gotta stop doing that. I guess the one advantage to getting the kids out of the house is they won't be able to make it messy.

I've decided to create a schedule, plan the weeks, plan the menus. I want to take the frustration of daily obligations out of my life, and, hopefully, Friday, the fun will begin.


In Other News...

Got a request for a partial. Emailed a query to an agent and an hour later they requested a partial. I wish I could feel more enthusiasm, but I'm afraid I'm getting rather jaded for the whole submission process.

"Untapped" Comments

I had so many great comments about the "Untapped" post, I wanted to say a couple of things. First, I'm so glad I'm not alone. Writing can be such a solitary occupation, you can't just crane your neck over the cubicle wall and ask a question and double check if you are right.

Second, Suzanne said to study the masters. Funny, I just finished reading Jill's WHITE HEAT and was impressed how she always brought it back to the emotional response of her characters. Whatever action these people did or situation they went through, she always brought it back to how the hero or heroine felt. Also, about a year or so ago (I'm not exactly sure) I took an online class from the LRWA about writing SIMs. All of the instructors were wonderful (including Suzanne) and they hammered over and over, how important the relationship was between the hero and heroine, despite the level of danger, it always has to be made personal.

Anyway, thanks guys for the input, certainly helps me clear up my thinking.

Untapped

I keep feeling like I'm lacking something in my writing. It's as if there is an untapped part of me I can't set free in my writing. When I write, I feel like there is something missing. Not always, but quite often I think I can do better than what I've done. It's not in the plotting, I don't have a problem there. My descriptions are good. But I don't feel as if I've cut to the core of the emotions I'm trying to express in my characters.

Much of what I write is romantic suspense where the hero and heroine spend a lot of their time trying to stay alive rather than doing a bunch of soulsearching. I do not like to write introspection, but then I don't think an internal narrative is always the best way to express the depth of a character. I don't know, maybe I'm being hormonal, I'm not sure. Any ideas?

In Other News...

Erika and Joe were eliminated from "Beauty and the Geek" this week. Erika has come to the conclusion she might be "shallow." Gee, ya think so?

Writing Your Heart Out

How much "heart" do you put into your writing? I don't mean the love and passion you have for writing, but your own personal feelings? Do you open yourself at all in your writing? How far are you willing to push yourself? Can I end a sentence without a question mark?

I guess what I'm asking is if there is something you won't write about because it is too painful or takes you out of comfort zone. I don't mean things like taboo subjects or explicit sex scenes, but topics more personal to you. Or, do you delve into those subjects, willing to bare your pain and weaknesses for the sake of a story?

"Beauty and the Geek"

Now that "Deadwood" and "Desperate Housewives" are done for the season, I have to find something to fill in the dead space. So I Tivo'd "Beauty and the Geek" and watched it last night. Oh boy. Talk about low brow. Please tell me this show is a set up and these women aren't that stupid. Among the questions missed:

Who was president during the Civil War? (the woman said Hoover)
Which president was a govenor of Arkansas?
Name three states that start with "New." (the only one she could name was New Mexico)
What is the capital of New England?

How in the world do they survive? Can they balance a checkbook? Do they need to? All of them were so self-involved, I can't imagine being stuck in a house with them.

The guys were true geeks. I felt bad for the one guy because he was a pure nerd. Three of them admitted to being virgins. One was the V.P. of the Dukes of Hazard fan club. He deserves celibacy.

Beast and the Blog

dh: "What are you doing?"
me: "Blogging."
dh: "You have a blog?"
me: "Yeah."
dh: "Wow," and, with a smirk, "maybe you need a life, or better yet, a job. What does 'dh' stand for?"
me: "What do you think?"
dh: "Uh...dickhead?"

Hubby decided to read my blog one night. I was not thrilled. My writing is never read by anyone in my family. Hubby has never read any of my writing. I think he's tried, but since it doesn't contain the words "Luke Skywalker," "the Republic,""Ford Mustang," or "Nicole Kidman" he quickly loses interest. I told him he shouldn't read it, I'm not particularly nice to him, but he was a pretty good sport.

I told him I didn't want him to read it. He pointed out that everyone else can read it, why not him? Besides, he could go to work and find it online and read it anyway. A valid point. So, does anyone in your family read your blog?

June Gloom

Every year around this time we get gloomy June mornings that generally burn off into pleasant afternoons. Not so lately. Today had been cold and drizzly. I don't like it. I'm ready for summer. I'm ready for triple-digit heat. It has been affecting my mood. I have no ambition to do anything be it housework, writing or reading. I just want to sit there and snarl. I know some people love this weather, but I'm ready for the sun.

I write more when it is sunny, even with the heat, I can relax and get a bunch of writing done. I know Melissa loves cold and rainy weather, she find it pumps up her muse. But I think my muse might be Malibu Barbie and only comes out when the sun is promising a killer tan. Does anyone else have "weather muse?"

Tagged

I've been tagged for the book stuff, so here goes:

Number of Books Owned?

Not that many. I'm not a book hound. I do have a keepershelf, but I'm pretty selective. I have lots of research books from history to crime and weaponry. And of course the collection of writing "how to" books.

Last Book Read?

I just finished THE COMPANION by Susan Squires a very different vampire novel that takes place in Regency England and North Africa. I really, really liked it. I'm currently reading WHITE HEAT by Jill Shalvis and THE ITALIAN SECRETARY by Caleb Carr.

What's Next?

Not a clue. I have so many books to read plus I've got a bunch in my cart at Amazon.

Five books that mean something to me?
1. HOUSE OF A THOUSAND LANTERNS by Victoria Holt. It was my first flat out romance novel. I became a big Victoria Holt fan, I must have been 11.
2. SHANNA by Kathleen Woodiwiss. A very educational book for a 12 year old.
3. JANE EYRE. I just loved that book. I was freshman in high school and read it so many times.
4. GRAPES OF WRATH by Steinbeck. Actually, any Steinbeck novel could be here. I love him.
5. THE TALISMAN by Stephen King and Peter Straub. Talk about the hero's journey perfectly executed. I never understood why this book wasn't more celebrated. It really put into practice all of the stuff I learned in AP English

Recapturing the Joy in Writing

When I started writing, I really didn't have any goals. I loved to write and took joy from merely putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as it were). Now, I find so much of my thoughts geared towards publication, I find I forget why I started writing in the first place. I hate the fact that as I write my historical, in the back of my mind I'm worried about how I can market it or what agent is going to be interested in it. I find the joy of writing the darn thing has been eclipsed by my concerns about publication.

And I'm not alone. Melissa and I have talked about this for awhile. I think we feel it especially with regards to our historical writing. So we joined with our friend Olivia to create a new blog to re-discover the joy of writing and to celebrate the genres we choose to write not for their marketability but because we love to write. The result is Villa in Tuscany.

Bring on the Brackish Beverages!

At 2:30 p.m. yesterday, my prison sentence was over and I could return to my coffee, cola, etc. etc. So I brewed a pot of coffee and had a cup without a straw. Later, I attacked the diet coke. Last night, we had spaghetti and I capped the evening off with more coffee and an Australian shiraz blend. Boy, I love red wine.

Hubby wants to take the kids to see "Revenge of the Sith" today. We went and saw it last week to make sure it was okay for the kids. It's dark but I don't think it is anymore frightening to young ones then the Harry Potter movies or "Series of Unfortunate Events." The most difficult part to watch was Natalie Portman. Damn, all she does is bawl throughout the movie. I have my own issues with continuity with the film. And I can't stand Yoda. He is so sanctimonious and a know-it-all. Perhaps I have gone over to the Dark Side. I think being home with 3 kids will do that to you.

Pearly Whites and the Power of the Rally Monkey

After years of being hassled by dh, I went ahead and had my teeth whitened yesterday. I was one of those kids who lived on tetracycline as a baby and it left me with stained adult teeth. Other than that, my teeth are perfect: no cavities, no need for braces. They managed to lighten my teeth 7 shades. It took two hours and was uncomfortable as hell, but I did okay, until she handed me the list of things I can't eat or drink for 48 hours. Oh, and I might feel some discomfort for first 24 hours (I knew I should have been suspect when she handed me advil as soon as I sat down in the chair).

Jump down to the next event. We had tickets to see the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim play (is that not the most asinine name in the world? a whole other rant on its own). So after taking a second out on the house to pay for food at the game, we packed up two of the brats and headed to the old ball game.

First thing, the kids are hungry. So dh heads to the stand to get hot dogs, except I can't have ketchup or mustard for 48 hours. But there is the guy selling $6 pizzas. Oops, can't have red sauce. Hmm...but Panda Express has booth, so I could get some broccoli beef. Oh dear, it has soy sauce, another no-no.

I was also thirsty. It's Pepsi. I don't drink Pepsi and even if I did, cola is another banned substance. I asked hubby to get water. He looked at me with horror and said he'd rather spend the money getting ripped off on beer than water. So he got me a Mike's Hard Lemonade.

Now this is bad enough, but then the "discomfort" kicks in. Oh, my teeth hurt so bad. But the Angels are losing, so I figure we would be home soon and I could get more advil. Sigh...they get some guys on base and the Rally Monkey appears. Thousands of people are screaming waving their stuffed monkeys. Sure enough, the Angels score 5 runs and tie the game. Bottom of the ninth, they've got people on base and the Rally Monkey is doing his thing. No such luck and the game goes to extra innings. Thank goodness the Monkey was still around and the Angels got a run in the bottom of the 10th. But we still had to sit for fireworks. I was so glad to get home.

It's Saturday morning and I can sit down with a cup of coffee, except it is on "the list." But where there is a will, there is a way. I'm drinking it through a straw.

Attacked by a WIP!

So, I was minding my own business, working on my historical, knowing I was nearly done and planning my next project when BAM! I got hijacked by another story altogether. I have no idea where it came from, but in the last three days I've written 13 pages. I need to stop so I can finish my historical, but I guess I need to get this one out of my system. It's a vampire story and I'd sworn off bloodsuckers for awhile, but there it is.

I get kind of dopey when I start a new story. My head is in the clouds for the most part with brief moments of lucidity.

I started reading THE COMPANION by Susan Squires and so far I really like it. Its very different and she puts in a great deal of detail to color her world. Her research on ship terms is terrific.

The Generosity of Writers

First, thank you for all of your good wishes. I had a lovely birthday without any major catastrophes. Hubby got me an iPod. Pink of course.

I met my friend Linda at a bookstore where Susan Squires was signing THE COMPANION. Her husband Harry was also signing his new book, WHAT ROUGH BEAST which he writes under the name H.R. Knight. What I didn't realize was how many other authors would be signing as well. Mary Castillo and Jennifer Apodaca were also there signing plus several more I can't remember. Just as I was checking out, one more author arrived, Rebecca Forster. So I had to stop and get her books. While she was signing, I mentioned how I saw her at my chapter meeting and liked her presentation. She started asking me about my writing, what I wrote, where I was at. As I told her about my rejections, she totally jumped on it and said I needed to be more aggressive. She outlined some ideas on what I should be doing and how to go about it. She turned to my friend Linda and told her she needs to keep tabs on me and to email her if I am not doing as I should. And I need to spend some money on some lucky shoes.

I was impressed she would take the time out to really be interested in my career as an unpubbed and to share her experience and knowledge. Her enthusiasm and exuberance was definitely contagious.

I am always humbled at the generosity of writers in the romance genre. We as a group tend to be the biggest supporters of one another, the loudest cheerleaders. And those who have succeeded are eager to help struggling writers achieve their dreams.

Hopefully Linda absorbed more than I did. I was a bit overwhelmed (I'm easily starstruck). Linda is the only non-writer friend of mine who reads my stuff and is probably a better judge of my writing than anyone else. I have no doubt she will keep me on the crooked yet narrow path to publication.

38 Special

I am thirty-eight year old today. And I have a two year old. And I am still lactating. Oh, I'm depressed now. I really didn't think I would be changing diapers at this stage in my life.

I complain a lot about my life. I'm not a published writer, I'm overweight, my house isn't as clean as I would like, I don't know how to knit, I haven't finished the granny square afghan for my son, etc., etc.

The list is endless and just about as shallow.

So, on this day, I will focus on what I have accomplished. I have actually published, I have an article on historical research published in The Romance Wrtier's Handbook. I have three bright and healthy children and a wonderful husband who is devoted to me. Although I'm still overweight, I've been working out and am in the best shape I've been since my early 20's. I have friends and family, a great house, nice cars, all the material things I want. My health is good and I don't have any gray hair (okay, that's courtesy of my very expensive dye jobs, the one excess my husband never complains about).

Today I am off to a book signing and lunch with a friend. Its a sunny day and perfect for the convertible. It should be a nice day.

Martini Friday

Our temperatures here are climbing up into the 90's this weekend. At the end of a hot day, I love an ice cold martini. Last year it was apple martinis and cosmos, but now I am branching out. Last Friday I had refreshing martini from a restaurant I had dinner at. I couldn't find the recipe but the restaurant did divulge the ingredients. So last night I experimented and came up with this:

Picnic Punch Martini

2 oz. citrus-flavored vodka
2 oz. watermelon pucker
splash or so of sweet and sour

I use a lot of ice to get it as cold as possible. I recommend that you pour the ingredients sit in the shaker for a moment after I've shaken it to let it get really cold. This recipe makes two good sized martinis, if you want to share. Or not.

Santa Barbara

I need a vacation. The last time I had time away from my kids was in September '02 when hubby had to go to Bermuda for business and I got to go. This wasn't exactly a relaxing journey, I was 7 1/2 months pregnant and I had a sinus infection. I spent a lot of time in the hotel room watching t.v.

I haven't spent 24 hours away from my baby yet. This isn't by choice. My other kids were used to abandonment. I went to Hawaii for ten days and left my 5 year old son and his 18 month old sister behind. But this third baby is different. She nursed until she was 22 months. Never took a bottle. Would only breastfeed for the first 6 mos. of life. She also wouldn't let anyone hold her but me. It's like having a freakin' virus that won't go away.

So I grabbed my husband by the throat and told him if he valued his life, he would find time to take a three day weekend and get me out of the insane asylum my home has become. So he left it to me to pick a place. I selected Santa Barbara. This is one of the two places I would actually move to, the other being San Diego (well, La Jolla) from where I live now.

Grabbing the laptop, I start hunting for hotels and I've got quite the list going. Hubby does the same. I'm looking at the Four Seaons, he's looking at Motel 6. I'm looking at seafood restaurants, he's looking at steak. I'm looking for the shopping areas and the winerys, he's looking for dayhikes and botanical gardens.

Maybe I should just leave him home.

Quantum Mechanics

When I was in college, I took a physics class for non-science majors. If filled a couple of requirements and the TA was soooo hot. It wasn't a particularly challenging class, concepts such as inertia, energy, mass and how they work together aren't hard to grasp. Figuring out the trajectory of a Ferrarri hurling down an alpine road really isn't tough. But my professor took it a step further. He decided to teach liberal arts students about quantum mechanics.

Quantum mechanics encompasses theories and ideas involving the speed of light, the theory of relativity and time. Quantum theory works to explain the behavior of molecules and atoms with relation to energy and mass. Anyway, it is very complicated and simply beyond my scope. I remember problems presented where we had to figure out how old an astronaut would be when he returned to earth if he traveled at the speed of light for a certain number of days. I didn't get it most of the time.

But every once in awhile, a light bulb would go off and I would get it, but I couldn't maintain my understanding. Sometimes I feel the same way about writing. I understand the basics, know the "rules," feel comfortable with the concepts of writing and the craft. But I have a hard time grasping the mystery of a good piece of writing; that indefinable element to a story which makes it unique. And I recognize it when I see it. I cringe at the majesty of it, how that writer captured the spark and I wonder how they did it. I'm sure they scratch their heads and wonder themselves.

To add to the confusion, other people don't see the spark in the same way. Where I see brilliance, others see nothing and vice-versa. I've had cp's comment on a particular passage in my writing they find exceptional and I have to shake my head.

I guess writing, like an unstable atom is hard to understand. The rules are open to interpretation and the formula if followed because simple, traditional physics. But to make it special, to lift it to the level of wonder takes something else, an understanding that goes beyond the norm. And so I search for it, hoping my mind will open and like the theory of relativity, I will get it.

Katie and the Candy Store

Sycamore Elementary, 3 p.m.

Katie:Mom, can we go to the candy store?
Me: No.
Katie: Why can't we go to the candy store?
Me: Because I said so.

The Big Red Bomber, 3:10 p.m.
Katie (muttering from the backseat): wish we could go to the candy store.

Home, 3:15 p.m.
Katie: Can I have some ice cream?
Me: No
Katie: I don't want an ice cream sandwich. I want regular ice cream.
Me: No

The Laundry Room at Home, 3:30
Katie: Do you have five dollars?
Me: Why?
Katie: So we can go to the candy store and I get some ice cream.
Me: (insert your favorite expletives screamed at a high decibel).

Things to do on a Sunday....

Do laundry or read the new "Sookie Stackhouse" book
Do the dishes or read the new "Sookie Stackhouse" book
Feed my children or read the new "Sookie Stackhouse" book
Call the fire department as my house burns down around my ears or read the new "Sookie Stackhouse" book.

Finishing Dead as a Doornail was a bittersweet experience. While I wish Charlaine Harris' book would go on and on, I can finally get some stuff done around the house.

Book of My Heart

I should probably start out by saying I love everything I write. I love to write and have since I was 12 and scribbling down Victoria Holt knock-offs. I'd be happy writing copy for corn flake boxes. I pour my heart into everything I write.

That being said, there are some stories that mean more than others to me. It would seem logical, writing is a highly personal vocation which requires a person to reach into the recesses of their being to create a world populated with rich characters and fascinating plots.

Jill said

If the writing is great, you can sell anything, especially a book of your heart.

And I wholeheartedly agree. However....

A book is kind of like a house. You may have beautiful house, constructed with only the finest materials. The kitchen sports high-end appliances and granite counter tops. You've filled the bathrooms with polished marble. Everyone agrees, your house is beautiful. But maybe the floorplan's a little off. It might be a little different, unique and not to everyone's taste, but you love it. Now you have to sell it. It will sell, eventually. But the market is tight and there are more houses for sale than there are buyers. While everyone loves your house, it doesn't fit within the lifestyles of many people. It will sell someday, all houses sell, but it may take awhile.

Maybe you live in a traditional ranch style home. The landscaping is perfect, you've put in top-notch materials, made it the best it can be. And you love, but it doesn't have a piece of your soul in it. You put it on the market on Friday and by Monday you are packing to move. As much as you enjoyed living in the house, you won't shed any tears as you drive away. Your memories will be pleasant, but you won't get choked up over leaving.

Sorry for the ponderous analogy, but it was the best way to describe how I feel. The book so recently rejected was one I felt came purely from my heart. I didn't pay attention to market trends or anything when I started it. Up to then, it was my best piece of writing. When I started submitting it over a year ago, I got many requests for partials, most of which ended in rejections. The most common reason was marketability. I didn't receive one bad rejection, they all liked something about the book, but didn't think they could sell it.

My feelings now are ambivalent. While I'm not bitter over the submission process, I am weary and wary. The next book I wrote is good, better than the last, but its a paranormal in a similar vein and I'm not sure I want to waste another year in the same situation only to be rejected because no one thinks they can sell it.

The historical I am finishing is good and I love much about it, but I made some concessions. I put it in a time period which I like but don't hold in the highest of affection.

I still hold hope that my two paranormals will find the right buyer and someone will appreciate their uniqueness.

Crossroads

So, the end of my current WIP is in sight and now I need to think of the next project.

It isn't a question of inspiration; I have a dozen ideas floating in my head at anyone moment. But which road to take?

I'm assuming the third agent is going to reject my ms, so I'm working from that supposition. The ms I entered in the GH is ready for submission. However, it's a vampire story and I think the market is saturated with vampire stories. My current WIP is a historical. It would be easy to slide into another historical considering I've done so much research and I'm comfortable with my historical "voice." But...historicals are a tough sell.

Yeah, I know, it is wrong to write for the market, it's a no-win proposition, but I don't want to devote several months to a work and see it go nowhere. I feel like I'm in a spot in my writing where it's not simply writing the book of my heart (oh, I hate that platitude)but thinking of something truly viable for the market. I don't do this for fun anymore. Not that I have lost the joy in writing, I still find satisfaction in putting fingers to keyboard, but I have to consider what I'm writing and if I'm willing to let it molder in my hard drive.

For example, one of my favorite WIP's took place in 1763 in the Piedmont area of Virginia. The daughter of a plantation owner has been possessed by a demon. My heroine was an exorcist. I did so much research, got about 10K words and realized no one would buy it so I dropped it.

I don't mourn it and probably will never resurrect it, but I certainly feel if I want to get published, I have to remain within set parameters.

And so I have to come to a decision. I probably have a couple of weeks, but it is difficult to choose a path when there are so many forbidden and seem so much more interesting.

Dark Side of the Dark Side

Today the L.A. Times ran a story about the new "Revenge of the Sith" movie. George Lucas cautions parents not to take a child younger than six to the movie. While I applaud his honesty, I'm frustrated by the marketing of this film. I have in my pantry a box of LavaBerry Poptarts and Star Wars cereal. My 2 year old can verbally identify Darth Vader. My kindergartener and her brother play Star Wars chess. Legos, video games, clothing, light sabers, you name, it's been marketed.

Now, if this stuff was aimed at the older crowd, no big deal, but has anyone seen "Darth Tater?" He's a Mr. Potatohead dressed as Darth Vader. Fisher-Price has Star Wars toys targeted to the pre-school set. From what I've read of the film, it's dark and scary, far too intense for my five year old, yet she has been bouncing off the walls to see it. I doubt I will take her.

While I'm not chiding Lucas for making a dark, creepy Star Wars movie, it does seem ridiculous that the marketing companies didn't take it's intended audience into consideration.

Siren Song of Contests

I have been known to emphatically say I will never enter another chapter contest again. Ever. Nothing can change my mind.

So what am I doing? Yeah, getting a synopsis ready for a contest.

Why am I doing this?

I could say I want to get this ms in front of an editor or agent judge. But that really isn't the answer.

The truth is, I have a competitive streak I do not like to acknowledge. My dh is blatantly competitive and is unbearable when he loses. I am much too refined for such shenanigans.

Ha!

I want to win. I don't care if the prize is a stale donut, I want to win. I cannot resist the call for competition. Is it worth the price that it takes on my ego? No, probably not, but I'm not wisest of creatures at times. Hence my third child. But I can't resist the lure, the call to competition.

TWO IN ONE WEEK AAARRRGGGHHH

I got another rejection today on my full. This just ain't right. Two in one week. I'm still reeling from the last rejection. Ah well, I suppose the first one is the hardest. He at least thought I was good writer, he just didn't have the enthusiasm to be the right agent.

Well, two down, one more to go.

Husband...Free to Good Home

Oh heck, it doesn't have to be a good home.

Hubby cannot leave a car alone. He can't not modify something on a vehicle. All of my cars have new exhaust systems. One has a supercharger. I think three of them have new computer chips to up the horsepower. He decides my big red tank needs a new air intake and air filter (more horsepower) and a brushguard. I need a brushguard to navigate through the wilderness that is my southern California suburb. Never know when a Caltrans cone is going to leap into the middle of a street. It's good to have the front of my moosemobile protected. Grrr...

So he spends 3 hours working on getting the brushguard on the front of the car only to realize it's the wrong part. So the car is disassembled and I can't drive it. I have two other cars to choose from (5 cars, 2 licensed drivers), but it is raining and I want my SUV.

But at least after the struggle he came in and spent some quality time with me. Oh wait, maybe he came in, ate dinner, flopped on the couch, read the newspapers and fell asleep in front of the ball game.

I had a rough day with my kids yesterday. The only adult I had talked to all day was my friend Melissa and that is only be cause we both use MSN Messenger, so technically, I didn't actually "talk" with her.

And he couldn't understand why I was so crabby. I explained it to him, but I could see his jaw slacken and his eyes glaze over.

Can someone please remind me why I am writing romance?

I'm a Sucker for this Stuff...

Your Birthdate: May 21

Being born on the 21st day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about. You are affectionate and loving, but very sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I got this from Teresa's Blog.

Another Historical Rant

I graduated with a degree in history. I chose the major because:

1. I liked history, when it came time to declare, most of my classes were in history.
2. Its a good major if you want to go to law school, which I thought I did at the time.
3. What better degree for a romance writer, the other career I aspired to?

My focus was the colonial south and I spent a few months in Williamsburg, VA studying the era. Oh, I loved it. I couldn't wait to write my great, dramatic romance novel encompassing a period and location I adored.

A few years later, I did write my novel. I took my knowledge and experience studying colonial America and set my book in Virginia in 1752. Okay, I won't candy-coat the truth. The book reeked. Oh man, it was not good. But at the time I thought it was pretty good. So with perky optimism I submitted it to agents. Before they could actually find out how bad my book was, they flat out said novels set in colonial America did not sell.

Now, a bit more jaded, I've found there are only two periods in history and two countries as far as publishers are concerned. It seems every historical is set either in medieval England or Scotland or set in Regency London. France exists to provide that pesky Napoleonic war so we could have Regency spy heroes.

I know I'm being extreme. There are other books out there written in different time periods and places, but they aren't the norm.

Yeah, this is an old argument that gets rehashed time and time again. But I do wish it would change. I'd hoped when "The Patriot" came out there would be a revived interest in colonial-Revolutionary America (although by the end of the film I was rooting for the redcoats. Wasn't Jason Isaacs a hottie?). But it didn't happen.

I have buckled under the pressure and my current WIP takes place in the Regency era although out stubbornness I set it in 1808 which technically is not the Regency. And as I look towards the end of my WIP and my next project, I can't help but long to return to Virginia and write about pocket hoops and would-be patriots.

Sorry, after writing this blog, I thought of a whole other part.

As a reader, I have found myself drifting away from historical romance. Funny, because when I first started reading romance I only read historicals. I started reading in the early '80's during the days when Woodiwiss, Busbee, Wilde & Lindsey were royalty. Lindsey was all over the historical atlas and part of the fun was never knowing where she was going to take you. Busbee settled in the south in the early days of the Republic and mixed in the troubled political climate of the era with her sweeping romances. Does anyone remember Eleanora Brownleigh and the way in which she brought the elegance of the the early 20th century alive to her readers?

It seems the choices for readers have been funneled down. Not that there aren't great authors, but I feel like the choices are limited with regards to variety.

The Power of Rejection

I had another post I was working on, but the mail brought in a rejection. I ceased to be real interested in anything to do with writing, big surprise :(

It is hardly my first rejection, but it is my first rejection based on a full. However, as painful as it is, it isn't my most painful. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. Have I become jaded enough that I don't feel the same passion? Shouldn't I be throwing myself around blubbering and looking for chocolate?

It wasn't a bad rejection, the agent said she liked it, liked the characters and thought there was lots of chemistry. She just didn't think it was strong enough for the market. My first reaction was to toss out my pc, my laptop, all of my writing books, etc. etc. and give up writing. But it only lasted a second. The feeling used to last a whole day when I first started. As the rejections mount up, the less connected I feel. My writing has become something seperate from myself. Maybe it is a defense mechanism.

I'm sure we all feel some level of utter despair when that SASE comes back with a simple letter. Have your feelings changed over the years with the various rejections?

Happily Ever After? Really?

On the Romance Central Forums Workshops, Becky Vinyard is presenting on plotting. She brings up the issue of resolution in a story. It is definitely something to think about. Too often the black moment arrives, is resolved and the hero and heroine ride off into the sunset. But is it satisfying?

How many times have you read a story where the hero and heroine have some serious conflicts and yet when the villain has them at knife point, the problems disappear? The hero (or heroine) dispatches the bad guy and realizes they can't live without the other person. THE END! I always wonder what is going to happen 6 months down the road when real life situations hit these people. I recently read a book where the conflicts between the hero and the heroine ran deep. I can see I'm getting to the end of the book, yet I don't see the issues resolving. Out of the blue, a villain comes in and tries to kill the pair. Boom, their issues are resolved and they live happily ever after. I was oddly dissatisfied. I felt disconnected from the pair whom I'd come to know so well.

I really dislike when a couple are working their way through their conflicts and bam, she gets pregnant. I figure it saves the author about 3 chapters of working through conflict so they can get their hero and heroine together. Now, as anyone with children can say, pregnancy often causes more problems in a relationship. It is a cheat. So what happens when the conflict starts building up? She miscarries the baby. Because what is going to draw two people together more than the shared loss of their unborn child? Again, anyone who has gone through the experience knows that it doesn't really work that way. Along with the grief, the initial problems can be amplified by the pain of the pair involved. I'm not commenting on the sensitivity of the issues, merely as a reader and writer who feels cheated when an author resorts to these particular plot devices to speed up the romance between their hero and heroine.

Are authors being lazy or are they being forced to an early resolution by the constraints placed upon them by an editor? I'm not sure. Obviously not all books are like that, but I do tend to find myself drifting towards series of books because the HEA is unresolved and the characters are forced to work through their problems.

Maybe its just me. But I want characters to earn their HEA in a logical manner, to truly understand why they love the other person and to feel the joy of true love.